Another purge
Yes it is that time again. I am freeing up more room in my cellphone's address book/contact list. I normally do this on a quarterly schedule, not by the fiscal quarter, but rather by my depression cycle. I feel the necessity to do this because I loose trust, and faith in some, shifting loyalties with others, but this time more of a lack of compassion, and willingness to act. I don't like asking people to help me, so when I do, I really need their help. I also like to help my friends in need. I feel good inside when my actions have a positive effect on them. It has been rough lately, Everything has gone wrong since I have returned to the USA, (I believe this is a message from Ha-Shem), and I don't know if this is the worst year I have experienced in the last 4 years, or if it only seems that way in comparison to the greatest year I had in my life, last year. And why the hell did my mother actually say, "I know what you need, you just need to get laid"? Anyway I am purging people who used to be my friends, and I am replacing them with good people that could be potential friends, and elevating the status of those friends who have helped me out and supported me through this period, I remember the positive even in these times. However I feel bad for those friends who are supporting me, I am very thankful for them. I only have the fear of over reliance on them, and their possible negative reaction to that reliance on them coming in the form of fatigue, and frustration with me as the root of those negative emotions. I mean shit, I get tired and frustrated with me, I am right now.