warning you its kinda girly and sappy... :-(
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
~Kelly Clarkson~
Well since the last time i updated I lost the one thing i thought i was doing right in my life.. Joe and i broke up, and I don't think i've ever been this upset about something.. I can't shake the feelings i feel or the love i have for him...
All the nights we spent holding each other or laughing at or with each other. Going to wrestling PPV's and Wrestling shows, staying up late just talking on the phone when we were far away from each other, sending dorky pictures just becuase we missed each other. Randomly singing twist and shout in the car Ferris Bueller Style, and you singing Do you wanna know a secret and pretty much any song to me... me not liking rules and finally breaking rule number 1, You dancing around like Dusty Rhodes (you are such a dork), watching you act out wrestling, so dorky, but yet so cute and I miss it. I miss the names you call me, i miss the times we went to the movies and out to Jays just to stay out longer. Cuddling on the couch watching tv. Hanging out just to watch Wrestling, even if it is 3 hours long and it takes 1.5 hours to get Mias... Burning Steak at 12 in the morning and making everyone in the townhouses mad, but it ended up really good tasting. Driving to Niagara Falls and seeing Mr. Kennedy and making your day, it was nice to see you so happy... and hey i got my picture taken with a superstar! hehe. Acting like we were married, living together, cleaning, me making you lunch before you went to work and leaving you little notes saying I love you dork. Letting me watch your 5th grade play even though you were so embarassed by it, my little Bentley... Going to see Billy Joel Two Times (second time was 1000000 times better), Your dad calling me his Daughter In law, going shopping with you and your dad and fighting with your dad in the aisles of walmart. I miss the times we wrestled in the living room, the basement, your room, anywhere, just to have fun.. Sneaking around at work just to be together, staying after everyone left in the parking lot just talking, changing lunch schedules so we could eat together. Driving in from school while i'm talking to you on the phone just to surprise you b/c i missed you. You not letting me eat dinner until my paper was done (it got done, and i got olive garden) going to olive garden on thursdays for lunch, victoria secret trips, you letting me be obsessed with John Cena and Edge and CM Punk, buying me wrestling stuff especially the Cena Bear and Picture, bringing me to my first RAW show and getting to see me act like a total girl when CEna came out...
I miss falling asleep in your arms and waking up to your kisses... I miss the hugs, and the smiles and how you made me giggle like no one has ever before. Playing video games like Fusion Frenzy and beating you :-p (prolly cuz you let me win, but it's okay), playing guitar hero, AWESOME... Making you a cute little valentines day gift. You winning me stuffed animals out of the machine at work just b/c i liked the brown and pink one, then making me think someone else won it and gettin me sad about it, but surprising me with it later, writing me little notes at work telling me you love me. Stealing your covers, Sleeping under your DX blanket, wearing your bills jersey when you got home from work. Being there when you got home from work in general. **You knowing what our wedding song was gonna be "Just the way you are," The planned out Graduation Present you were gonna give me (I thought it was very sweet, and amazing) The bookmark that said to Christy Love your Husband Joe.**(Pretty much all in the last 3 weeks we were dating, then all of a sudden it was like Hell became real and it was over for some reason) I miss being the one who is there for you through all this trouble with your house and your mom and everything,
i miss feeling safe in your arms and feeling like i mattered...
I miss all of this and so much more. There is so much that will never be able to be replaced by anyone. You were the one for me, you are the one for me. I've never felt that way before, i was in love with you, i am in love with you. I wish you still felt that way and Deep down i think you do, i think you are just confused. I wish i could help you. I hope you will choose me, I hope you will go back to feeeling like you did when you said "When i realized that i could only have fun if you were with me, is when i fell in love with you" Can we go back to that?
I still have your picture on my phone, i can't get rid of it... I miss that, we were happy, we have so much fun together it's a shame what happened. Everyone was surprised, i was even more surprised. I really just miss us being us and everything we were... You were my Shawn Michaels (even though Edge is way cuter and not injuried) but I just miss being with you...
I hope one day we will be back together and back in love b/c that is where i feel like i belong, in love with you. Life was so much better and i was so happy when I was with you.
You made me a better person and for that I am thankful, and i still have the feeling we are not done.. that we are not done making each other better people.. You've grown up a lot since i met you, but are still the fun awesome guy who is carefree. You helped me see who i really am and what i really need in life... well I need you, i want you, i miss you..
Hell, i don't even know if you will read this, but if you do, and i kinda hope you do, but know that i am always here for you, always have been and always will be. I have been there for you through everything and you have been there for me, and I hope you will continue to be there for me. You helped me graduate and thanks to you i am student teachingg in the fall. We support each other, we help each other, we complete each other. I hope you know that I love you still with all of my heart and as I am typing this i feel an empty spot in my chest. A spot where you are supposed to be, a spot that is waiting for you to come back to.
heck maybe you'll even comment if you read it.. but i'm prolly just dreaming and hoping like always....
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
~Kelly Clarkson~
Well since the last time i updated I lost the one thing i thought i was doing right in my life.. Joe and i broke up, and I don't think i've ever been this upset about something.. I can't shake the feelings i feel or the love i have for him...
All the nights we spent holding each other or laughing at or with each other. Going to wrestling PPV's and Wrestling shows, staying up late just talking on the phone when we were far away from each other, sending dorky pictures just becuase we missed each other. Randomly singing twist and shout in the car Ferris Bueller Style, and you singing Do you wanna know a secret and pretty much any song to me... me not liking rules and finally breaking rule number 1, You dancing around like Dusty Rhodes (you are such a dork), watching you act out wrestling, so dorky, but yet so cute and I miss it. I miss the names you call me, i miss the times we went to the movies and out to Jays just to stay out longer. Cuddling on the couch watching tv. Hanging out just to watch Wrestling, even if it is 3 hours long and it takes 1.5 hours to get Mias... Burning Steak at 12 in the morning and making everyone in the townhouses mad, but it ended up really good tasting. Driving to Niagara Falls and seeing Mr. Kennedy and making your day, it was nice to see you so happy... and hey i got my picture taken with a superstar! hehe. Acting like we were married, living together, cleaning, me making you lunch before you went to work and leaving you little notes saying I love you dork. Letting me watch your 5th grade play even though you were so embarassed by it, my little Bentley... Going to see Billy Joel Two Times (second time was 1000000 times better), Your dad calling me his Daughter In law, going shopping with you and your dad and fighting with your dad in the aisles of walmart. I miss the times we wrestled in the living room, the basement, your room, anywhere, just to have fun.. Sneaking around at work just to be together, staying after everyone left in the parking lot just talking, changing lunch schedules so we could eat together. Driving in from school while i'm talking to you on the phone just to surprise you b/c i missed you. You not letting me eat dinner until my paper was done (it got done, and i got olive garden) going to olive garden on thursdays for lunch, victoria secret trips, you letting me be obsessed with John Cena and Edge and CM Punk, buying me wrestling stuff especially the Cena Bear and Picture, bringing me to my first RAW show and getting to see me act like a total girl when CEna came out...
I miss falling asleep in your arms and waking up to your kisses... I miss the hugs, and the smiles and how you made me giggle like no one has ever before. Playing video games like Fusion Frenzy and beating you :-p (prolly cuz you let me win, but it's okay), playing guitar hero, AWESOME... Making you a cute little valentines day gift. You winning me stuffed animals out of the machine at work just b/c i liked the brown and pink one, then making me think someone else won it and gettin me sad about it, but surprising me with it later, writing me little notes at work telling me you love me. Stealing your covers, Sleeping under your DX blanket, wearing your bills jersey when you got home from work. Being there when you got home from work in general. **You knowing what our wedding song was gonna be "Just the way you are," The planned out Graduation Present you were gonna give me (I thought it was very sweet, and amazing) The bookmark that said to Christy Love your Husband Joe.**(Pretty much all in the last 3 weeks we were dating, then all of a sudden it was like Hell became real and it was over for some reason) I miss being the one who is there for you through all this trouble with your house and your mom and everything,
i miss feeling safe in your arms and feeling like i mattered...
I miss all of this and so much more. There is so much that will never be able to be replaced by anyone. You were the one for me, you are the one for me. I've never felt that way before, i was in love with you, i am in love with you. I wish you still felt that way and Deep down i think you do, i think you are just confused. I wish i could help you. I hope you will choose me, I hope you will go back to feeeling like you did when you said "When i realized that i could only have fun if you were with me, is when i fell in love with you" Can we go back to that?
I still have your picture on my phone, i can't get rid of it... I miss that, we were happy, we have so much fun together it's a shame what happened. Everyone was surprised, i was even more surprised. I really just miss us being us and everything we were... You were my Shawn Michaels (even though Edge is way cuter and not injuried) but I just miss being with you...
I hope one day we will be back together and back in love b/c that is where i feel like i belong, in love with you. Life was so much better and i was so happy when I was with you.
You made me a better person and for that I am thankful, and i still have the feeling we are not done.. that we are not done making each other better people.. You've grown up a lot since i met you, but are still the fun awesome guy who is carefree. You helped me see who i really am and what i really need in life... well I need you, i want you, i miss you..
Hell, i don't even know if you will read this, but if you do, and i kinda hope you do, but know that i am always here for you, always have been and always will be. I have been there for you through everything and you have been there for me, and I hope you will continue to be there for me. You helped me graduate and thanks to you i am student teachingg in the fall. We support each other, we help each other, we complete each other. I hope you know that I love you still with all of my heart and as I am typing this i feel an empty spot in my chest. A spot where you are supposed to be, a spot that is waiting for you to come back to.
heck maybe you'll even comment if you read it.. but i'm prolly just dreaming and hoping like always....