(no subject)
So, I just got home from my first all-women retreat. Awesome good stuff. The theme was "Women of Worth"...all about recognizing our dignity as women through God rather than relying on the often contradictory and/or degrading definitions of womanhood society gives us. I really ought to read Captivating...a lot of quotes on the retreat came from that book. (And yes, I know, it's been recommended to me before now)
I think in our generation, it's become almost anathema to acknowledge that women still have not achieved full dignity in our society. Male domination is still present, but in different forms. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to villify men. It's just as harmful to men as it is to women...we live in a society that is often degrading to everyone. The relationship between men and women should be mutual respect and partnership (and I'm talking a whole-society thing, all kinds of relationships, not romantic relationships). The way society is (and has been pretty much forever), women and men are objectified. Feminism is often equated with man-hating. We talked in my small group about that--a few of us had been in situations where a large group is asked if they are feminists. Each time few or no people had raised their hands, even though they would say that they disagreed with salary differences, discrimination, etc. Being a feminist has become associated with degrading men. It shouldn't be that way. We can and should uphold the dignity of women and men equally. It is degrading to women to degrade or dominate men, and vice verca.
One of the women in my group talked about abortion in that context, and I really liked what she had to say. She said that the problem with abortion isn't about the rights of the fetus, but about the dignity of women. Outlawing abortion wouldn't fix anything, because it's a symptom of a bigger societal problem. Our society is set up in such a way that women do not have the financial, emotional, material, medical, or any other kind of support to raise children. The stigma is the problem. Beyond that, there is the sexual pressure on women (and men) that is a precursor to unintended pregnancies. Women are valued as sexual beings, but not as mothers. If there was much more support for parents (and not just in crisis pregnancies, but a society that actually acts on the "it takes a village" adage), there wouldn't such a demand for abortions. There is also I think a kind of stigma on fatherhood. Men are not allowed to be nurturing, especially young men. How can we as a society expect men to behave with dignity and respect when we devalue them as fathers? How can we expect them to be responsible for their actions if we say that a pregnancy--the result of two people--is only the jurisdiction of women? It's no wonder we have so many deadbeat dads. Men need to be accountable, and the only way that will happen is if their responsibility is valued. What is left for men when society sends the message that responsibility is not valued, that nurturing is not valued, that treating women with dignity is not valued? Dignity is a two-way street. Dignity has to be reciprocal.
All in all it was a very good day. :)
I think in our generation, it's become almost anathema to acknowledge that women still have not achieved full dignity in our society. Male domination is still present, but in different forms. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to villify men. It's just as harmful to men as it is to women...we live in a society that is often degrading to everyone. The relationship between men and women should be mutual respect and partnership (and I'm talking a whole-society thing, all kinds of relationships, not romantic relationships). The way society is (and has been pretty much forever), women and men are objectified. Feminism is often equated with man-hating. We talked in my small group about that--a few of us had been in situations where a large group is asked if they are feminists. Each time few or no people had raised their hands, even though they would say that they disagreed with salary differences, discrimination, etc. Being a feminist has become associated with degrading men. It shouldn't be that way. We can and should uphold the dignity of women and men equally. It is degrading to women to degrade or dominate men, and vice verca.
One of the women in my group talked about abortion in that context, and I really liked what she had to say. She said that the problem with abortion isn't about the rights of the fetus, but about the dignity of women. Outlawing abortion wouldn't fix anything, because it's a symptom of a bigger societal problem. Our society is set up in such a way that women do not have the financial, emotional, material, medical, or any other kind of support to raise children. The stigma is the problem. Beyond that, there is the sexual pressure on women (and men) that is a precursor to unintended pregnancies. Women are valued as sexual beings, but not as mothers. If there was much more support for parents (and not just in crisis pregnancies, but a society that actually acts on the "it takes a village" adage), there wouldn't such a demand for abortions. There is also I think a kind of stigma on fatherhood. Men are not allowed to be nurturing, especially young men. How can we as a society expect men to behave with dignity and respect when we devalue them as fathers? How can we expect them to be responsible for their actions if we say that a pregnancy--the result of two people--is only the jurisdiction of women? It's no wonder we have so many deadbeat dads. Men need to be accountable, and the only way that will happen is if their responsibility is valued. What is left for men when society sends the message that responsibility is not valued, that nurturing is not valued, that treating women with dignity is not valued? Dignity is a two-way street. Dignity has to be reciprocal.
All in all it was a very good day. :)