Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
Bloody hell it's hot this weekend. Properly boiling. Didn't get to sleep until after 3am, and even then it wasn't until I got a cold flannel
that I could drop off.
I have had my doors and windows wide open all day and the thermometer attached to my alarm clock still registers 29.4C
I had a proper, honest to goodness cold shower ealier. And I went from shivering to too hot in less thn 20 minutes.
So basically, what I have done since my last post was to melt. And watch Shakespeare. Which mostly makes me want to say "don't watch The Hollow Crown". Tom Hiddleston is very good as Henry, that I can't deny. But it is a terrible adaptation of the Henrys, all told. They cut all the funny bits from Henry V, and manage to kill all the comedy in Henry IV. Which is hard, cos it is a damn funny play. I think, for a start, Falstaff is horribly miscast. I mean, I admit my bias, and I was unlikely to think anyone was better than Roger Allam in the role. But the man won an Olivier for a reason. Simon Russel Beale just isn't funny. And, put simply, Falstaff is to comedy what Hamlet is tragedy. Falstaff is one of Shakspeares finest comic creations, and I never found him funny. Not only that, but he was lacking in charm and you just couldn't tell why the young Hal would be friends with this man.
The other issue was that the focus of Henry IV was all wrong. They focussed on driving towards the battles in Part Two and Hal's interaction with his father. When the absolute heart of the story is the relationship between Hal and Falstaff. Huh. I get to use my "destroying the languuage of Shakespeare" tag in an absolutely literal sense.
Anyway, enough moaning, because I also watched
Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
This was on my list because James Spader. Duh.
I'm not sure I get this movie's claims to being a comedy. I mean. It's not deadly serious. But it's not exactly... funny. Apart from James Spaders hair. That is fucking hilarious. It looks like he's stolen Eric Idle's hair. Or my Mum's circa 1986. See:
You have to admit. That is pretty funny.
But if I had to categorise the movie, I would definitely put it in the People Stand About In Rooms And Talk About Their Feelings genre.
So.
The plot.
Andie MacDowell is talking to her therapist about...well. Her feelings.
She is married to a douchebag who is fucking her sister, the best friend from Pretty Woman. It's not even dignified enough to be called an affair.
Anyway, he's invited an old college friend to stay. Enter James Spader.
So, Andie MacDowell and James Spader... talk about their feelings. Andie MacDowell explains that she thinks sex is overrated, and James Spader explains he is impotent, or at least "unable to hold an erection in the presence of others" which is functionally the same thing. Because this is the conversation you have with someone you've just met.
Andie MacDowell's sister continues to fuck her husband, and decides she wants James Spader as well.
Some more feelings are talked about.
Andie MacDowell discovers that James Spader videos women talking about sex so that he can masturbate to them later. With, I should point out, the women's knowledge and consent.
Anyway, Andie MacDowell freaks the fuck out and her sister goes over to James Spader's place and makes a video. Douchebag husband freaks the fuck out about it, but the sister points out that he has zero say over what she does.
Andie MacDowell begins to suspect her douchebag husband is fucking her sister, and he proves he's even more douchebaggy than suspected as he makes her feel guilty for even contemplating such a thing, even though it's 100% true.
Andie MacDowell later discovers that she was right, so goes immedately over to James Spader to make a video.
Douchebag husband finds out and freaks even more the fuck out, rushes over there, punches James Spader in the face and then watches the video.
In which Andie MacDowell starts talking abou herself, but ends up turning the tables on James Spader and finds out that among other things, he is a recovering pathological liar and that's why he distances himself from people.
Then the movie ends with douchebag husband getting a divorce and getting fired, Andie MacDowell and her sister beginning to patch up their relationship and Andie MacDowell and James Spader apparently being together now.
This film is... ok, I guess. It's not bad, quite interesting. It just feels like there are bits missing. I mean, we're told that douchabag husband and James Spader were great friends, and we're further told that James Spader has changed a lot, and douchebag husband no longer likes him, but you just can't imagine that they ever had anything in common. Just a little back story, some clue as to how they became friends or something would have rounded out the story. Also the 80s chewed up the movie and spat it out. And not it the good way
Tattoo Watch: absent. I become incresingly amused at how many ways directors find to *not* shoot James Spader's upper right arm.
that I could drop off.
I have had my doors and windows wide open all day and the thermometer attached to my alarm clock still registers 29.4C
I had a proper, honest to goodness cold shower ealier. And I went from shivering to too hot in less thn 20 minutes.
So basically, what I have done since my last post was to melt. And watch Shakespeare. Which mostly makes me want to say "don't watch The Hollow Crown". Tom Hiddleston is very good as Henry, that I can't deny. But it is a terrible adaptation of the Henrys, all told. They cut all the funny bits from Henry V, and manage to kill all the comedy in Henry IV. Which is hard, cos it is a damn funny play. I think, for a start, Falstaff is horribly miscast. I mean, I admit my bias, and I was unlikely to think anyone was better than Roger Allam in the role. But the man won an Olivier for a reason. Simon Russel Beale just isn't funny. And, put simply, Falstaff is to comedy what Hamlet is tragedy. Falstaff is one of Shakspeares finest comic creations, and I never found him funny. Not only that, but he was lacking in charm and you just couldn't tell why the young Hal would be friends with this man.
The other issue was that the focus of Henry IV was all wrong. They focussed on driving towards the battles in Part Two and Hal's interaction with his father. When the absolute heart of the story is the relationship between Hal and Falstaff. Huh. I get to use my "destroying the languuage of Shakespeare" tag in an absolutely literal sense.
Anyway, enough moaning, because I also watched
Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989)
This was on my list because James Spader. Duh.
I'm not sure I get this movie's claims to being a comedy. I mean. It's not deadly serious. But it's not exactly... funny. Apart from James Spaders hair. That is fucking hilarious. It looks like he's stolen Eric Idle's hair. Or my Mum's circa 1986. See:
You have to admit. That is pretty funny.
But if I had to categorise the movie, I would definitely put it in the People Stand About In Rooms And Talk About Their Feelings genre.
So.
The plot.
Andie MacDowell is talking to her therapist about...well. Her feelings.
She is married to a douchebag who is fucking her sister, the best friend from Pretty Woman. It's not even dignified enough to be called an affair.
Anyway, he's invited an old college friend to stay. Enter James Spader.
So, Andie MacDowell and James Spader... talk about their feelings. Andie MacDowell explains that she thinks sex is overrated, and James Spader explains he is impotent, or at least "unable to hold an erection in the presence of others" which is functionally the same thing. Because this is the conversation you have with someone you've just met.
Andie MacDowell's sister continues to fuck her husband, and decides she wants James Spader as well.
Some more feelings are talked about.
Andie MacDowell discovers that James Spader videos women talking about sex so that he can masturbate to them later. With, I should point out, the women's knowledge and consent.
Anyway, Andie MacDowell freaks the fuck out and her sister goes over to James Spader's place and makes a video. Douchebag husband freaks the fuck out about it, but the sister points out that he has zero say over what she does.
Andie MacDowell begins to suspect her douchebag husband is fucking her sister, and he proves he's even more douchebaggy than suspected as he makes her feel guilty for even contemplating such a thing, even though it's 100% true.
Andie MacDowell later discovers that she was right, so goes immedately over to James Spader to make a video.
Douchebag husband finds out and freaks even more the fuck out, rushes over there, punches James Spader in the face and then watches the video.
In which Andie MacDowell starts talking abou herself, but ends up turning the tables on James Spader and finds out that among other things, he is a recovering pathological liar and that's why he distances himself from people.
Then the movie ends with douchebag husband getting a divorce and getting fired, Andie MacDowell and her sister beginning to patch up their relationship and Andie MacDowell and James Spader apparently being together now.
This film is... ok, I guess. It's not bad, quite interesting. It just feels like there are bits missing. I mean, we're told that douchabag husband and James Spader were great friends, and we're further told that James Spader has changed a lot, and douchebag husband no longer likes him, but you just can't imagine that they ever had anything in common. Just a little back story, some clue as to how they became friends or something would have rounded out the story. Also the 80s chewed up the movie and spat it out. And not it the good way
Tattoo Watch: absent. I become incresingly amused at how many ways directors find to *not* shoot James Spader's upper right arm.