The rather longer than anticipated post, incorporating Serving Sara and Wolf
I realise it’s been over a month since my last update. This is mostly because life has been busy the last few weeks. I’ve had a review I’ve been meaning to write since the middle of April and haven’t got round to yet (admittedly, only some of that can be blamed on busy, the rest is me being lazy) and I’ve just added a second one.
So, whyfore have I been so busy? Well, let me see, first off was Mothers Day at the beginning of April, so I was in Crawley visiting the mater. Then it was back to Cambridge Sunday night, then back down to Crawley Monday evening as I had a two day training course Tuesday and Wednesday. Quite useful it is that I work for a company who have headquarters in my home town. Though would have been more useful had the course started on a Monday… Course was interesting, although was never going to compete with the Lake District, and frankly, I couldn’t really see it’s relevance to my day job. But still.
So, Wednesday night back to Cambridge, only to have a half day on Friday so that I can go back down south to see the show my step mum was in. It’s a most unfortunate fact that all the time I was at university, she always managed to be in shows during exams, or during Fresher’s week or at some other time that meant I couldn’t get back to see it, whereas practically all of my dad’s and brother’s shows fell during the holidays, or in the middle of term when I was going home anyway. I always felt bad, as if my step mum might think it was a deliberate snub, when it completely wasn’t, hence moving heaven and earth to get back to see it. Especially as I would get to see both my brother’s and my dad’s shows later in the month, but more of that later.
The show was an Olde Tyme Music Hall, and was absolutely fantastic. There were a lot of old faces that I hadn’t seen in a while, people I’ve known since I was four, so that was lovely. Fantastic songs, hilarious sketches, including one guy doing two Ronnie Barker monologues absolutely wonderfully (and did occasion a most amusing moment when I overheard two ladies next to me remark “oo, it’s just like something out of The Two Ronnies, isn’t it?”)
But I couldn’t stay for long as that Saturday was when I was to do my Swimamajig for Marie Curie Cancer Care. So Saturday afternoon, back on the train I hopped, back to Cambridge, ready to swim at 6pm. And I did it; I swam 1.5km in 54:37; a whole ten minutes faster than my previous best time. I’m rather proud of myself, as you may be able to tell. And they gave me a medal:
Next year, 2.5km. (Incidentally, if my feats of physical endurance have impressed you, you can still sponsor me here: http://my.artezglobal.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=340382&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.swimathon.org%2fpage.php%3fpage%3dSponsor_a_swimmer)
And a huge thanks to everyone who sponsored me. I’m still collecting some of the sponsor money, and I’ll post the final total when I have it, but it’s looking likely that I’ll have raised about £200!
To continue my tale of busy, the Tuesday after that, I flew to Belfast in order to chair a meeting. Put like that it sounds very posh, but it really wasn’t. At my course in the Lake District, we were all assigned a Facilitated Learning Group, which is basically a group of (in my case) 10 grads and we’re supposed to meet up 5 times before September to discuss career plans and yadda and yadda. We also have to do a challenge of some kind at some point. Anyway, there is me, The Other Grad, about 6 guys from the London office, and a guy from Belfast. Obviously, we had to have meeting in Belfast, as it just wouldn’t be fair to expect him to fly over here every time. It was our first one, and as no one else wanted to do it, I volunteered. Meeting was long and boring, but still, it was in Belfast, so was pretty damn cool.
Belfast is… interesting. I’m not sure it’s a place I really want to go to again, although I can’t really judge the place on the 24 hours I spent there. However, driving to the hotel in the taxi, we noticed we were driving towards a large mural painted on the side of a building, informing us we were about to enter a unionist part of the city. May as well have been a big sign saying “Fuck off English”. Thankfully, we turned away from it, but we were still rather too close for my liking. And then we discovered that the hotel we were staying in had previously been bombed by the IRA. So that was uplifting. On the other hand, my room came with a rubber ducky!
of Irish Guy’s friends, because I’m not sure what would have happened if we’d ended up in the wrong bar or the wrong part of the city. It’s the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt in a place, I think. Still, we ended up in a pub where some people were playing traditional Irish music, so that was pretty cool.
Anyway, meeting over Wednesday afternoon, back to the airport we go. Oh yeah, and this is the trip I realise I have a little bit of a thing for one of the London Guys (he’s tall, Scottish and a bit musical, are you really surprised?)
So the Friday wasn’t exactly busy, but it was the day I met the new grad we have hired who starts in September. He has the same name as The Other Grad, and The Guy, so that’s nice and easy to remember. And not confusing at all. He seems like he might be a little boring, but we took him to lunch with everyone and he wasn’t intimidated by the more … ponderously geeky members of staff. I think he might be one of those Serious Geeks though, which could damp my fun a little. He is also sorta nicknamed miniature!Tony Stark, because he sorta looks like him. But with the good bits taken out. The Other Grad bet me £5 I couldn’t slip an Iron Man reference into our conversation. This is made harder by the fact that he’s only seen the film. I managed it, but it was neither elegant, nor amusing, so he only game me £2, but nevertheless, I made a profit that day!
Then that weekend I went to nevaendinstorey ’s for her birthday and saw plum177 , bethan_b_bad , requiem2adream and bloodrunner666 . And much fun was had by all. This was the weekend I discovered how awesome Wank Sock were, especially their first single, Cum Stains On My Life. But The Rubbery Mushrooms have totally sold out, man.
So then Wednesday I finished work and went on holiday for 13 days. It was lush. And where the me being busy excuse for not updating runs out and the me being lazy excuse kicks in.
Thursday was my step dad’s birthday, and then in the evening I went to see my darling brother in Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. It’s not my favourite show, but this was very good. It was all kids from his drama school thing (it’s one of those weekend things where they learn singing and dancing and acting, not quite a drama club, but not exactly a school either) and other branches in the area and they had a week’s workshop to put but the show together. A week. It was brilliant. My brother was Potiphar and had to wear a fat suit, and I discovered that not only can he sing and dance and act, but he has apparently inherited my dad’s funny gene. And the pratfall gene. He absolutely had me in hysterics, with this really odd posh voice that I didn’t even know he could do. There were some other brilliant kids in the show too.
After that, I mostly bummed around, having a BBQ at my Nan’s on Easter Sunday, having an old school sleep over round my friends’ on Sunday night and going to the cinema.
Thursday night was my dad’s turn. He was in The Wizard of Oz. He was a crow in the first act and a rather camp Emerald City Guard in the second act. And in my not biased at all opinion he stole the show a little bit. Him and The Great And Powerful Oz. They just both had more energy and life than pretty much anyone in the cast. Well, I guess the dog they had playing Toto was a little show stealy as well. Very cute and very well behaved, despite being manhandled all over the shop. The Wicked Witch was delightfully over the top, and had proper Crazy Eyes.
Then we get to Friday. Ah Friday. Me and 5 other brave (or is that foolhardy) souls went to London, not to see the Royal Wedding, but to go to a recording of Cabin Pressure, which is only my favourite radio sitcom ever, about a small charter airline called MJN air. It stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Roger Allam, Stephanie Cole and the genius that is John Finnemore, who also writes it. I first got into it as part of the La Cage Aux Folles obsession, but it is so unbelievably funny, that I got hooked. I can’t really describe how brilliant it was, you’ll just have to listen to it when it airs in July. I think the last time I laughed so hard was, well, listening to the Cabin Pressure Christmas Special. Sheer, unadulterated awesome.
Anyway, after that, we found ourselves heading in the direction of the palace anyway, so decided to go and see what all the fuss was about. Didn’t really get to see anything, but hey, I can say I was there!
And then Saturday, back on a train (again!), this time to Cardiff. And most excellent it was too. We cooked meat on a fire and watched the Royal Wedding, on iplayer, fast forwarding through the boring bits and playing the Royal Wedding Drinking Game which was mostly rules we made up as and when we felt like it. On Sunday, probably, we went to see Thor which was *awesome* and I need to see it again. Also saw trailers for Captain America which was even more awesome as well as Pirates of the Caribbean (not as awesome but has Roger Allam in it) and X-Men: First Class which looks ridiculous and fun and kind of awesome.
And then Tuesday it was back home in time for work on Wednesday.
Phew. That took rather longer than anticipated.
Also this month my obsession with The Axis of Awesome, and especially Benny, the keyboard player, continues to grow. Their songs are just awesome and he is just so cute! Look! He's asleep! In a hat!
After that brief break with sanity, I guess it's on to the reviews!
First up
Serving Sara (2002)
Another Matthew Perry film. This one a little more recent. It was a very silly romantic comedy. Matthew Perry is a process server who has to serve Liz Hurley with divorce papers. She runs away, and when he catches up, as the divorce would be better for her if she serves her husband first, they make a deal that he will not file the papers and help her serve her husband in return for… £1 million dollars!
Thus begins a Mad Cap Romp from New York to Texas where Wacky Hijinks occur and the inevitable happens and they fall in love.
So far, so ridiculous rom com plot line. Not something that would actually happen, but at least grounded in a reality of a sort. However, there are just a few little odd moments that completely screw with your suspension of disbelief and leave you going “oh come on, that is so beyond ridiculous, that would never, never happen in real life.”
The first of these is that Matthew Perry grows wine in his apartment. Wine. In his apartment. Apparently he really wants his own vineyard, but as he can’t afford it, he has to make do with his apartment.
On it’s own, not too terrible, and probably something you could overlook if it wasn’t for the rest of it.
The second is one of the Wacky Hijinks that occur at an airport and involve our heroes getting onto that bit where they weigh your luggage and send it to the plane and end up in the big bit where they sort all of the suitcases. It’s like that scene from Toy Story 2. It makes no sense. There is no way in any reality that they would be able to do that. Oh yeah, and then she empties a whole bunch of suitcases in order to steal some clothes. How pissed off would you be if that was your holiday?
The final is The Husband’s Bodyguard. A large black guy who dresses like a cowboy. Complete with snakeskin shoes. That still have the heads of the snakes on. The first time we see him, he is in a basement and has a whimpering man in office wear tied to a pole and is threatening him with serious physical torture. And what does the poor tortured man say? “I don’t know where the stapler is!”
I mean seriously what? You expect me to believe that this dude has a guy on his payroll who tortures people to find out the location of office equipment. It’s just ridiculous. It’s the straw that breaks the camels back. Once I see how ridiculous this is, I can’t help but notice all the normal ridiculous bits that I would normally ignore or let slide. Movie, you made me question your inner reality too deeply and you broke it.
One the good side, the movie also contains Matthew Perry in a tux with Designer Stubble. And he was something of a Bad Boy so got to smoke and wear a leather jacket and have spiky hair. And apparently (according to my live tweeting) a coat and scarf combination that looked like it walked off of the cover of GQ.
So, in summary, a decently ok rom com ruined by just being too ridiculous.
Secondly,
Wolf (1994)
This has James Spader in it. Also Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer. And David Hyde Pierce. And in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it role, Alison Janney.
This is a werewolf movie. This is not a horror movie. I think the imdb summary sums it up best - “Publisher Will Randall becomes a werewolf and has to fight to keep his job.”
That’s right. A character becomes a werewolf and the film is mostly about the struggle he has keeping his job as editor of a large publishing house. It’s a… I guess it’s a “people stand around in rooms and talk about their feelings” film.
Basic plot: Jack Nicholson runs over a wolf and gets bit. He slowly changes into a werewolf. He discovers James Spader has been having an affair with his wife and bites him. Later on he kills his wife. He has an almost relationship with Michelle Pfeiffer. James Spader also turns into a werewolf. They fight. Some people die. James Spader is shot. Jack Nicholson… possibly runs off to live in the woods. It is implied that Michelle Pfeiffer is somehow also a werewolf. The film ends.
And that’s it. It is almost definitely the most boring werewolf movie you will ever see. The thing is, I would much rather watch James Spader’s story. Not just because he is pretty. I mean, he is, but that’s not why. I just think that his is a much more interesting story. The proper werewolf horror movie story. You don’t really get to see him much, but you get the feeling he was the one who went on mad killing rampages and killed teenagers in forests.
Also, Jack Nicholson is just fucking creepy. What with him smiling like the Joker all the damn time. I get that that is just his normal smile, but who the fuck smiles like the joker all the time??? Also, early on I decided he looked like a Zombie Dean Stockwell, and now I can’t unsee it.
And now you won't be able to either...
Tattoo watch: alas, no. *sadface*
Summary: I never thought werewolves could be so boring.
So, whyfore have I been so busy? Well, let me see, first off was Mothers Day at the beginning of April, so I was in Crawley visiting the mater. Then it was back to Cambridge Sunday night, then back down to Crawley Monday evening as I had a two day training course Tuesday and Wednesday. Quite useful it is that I work for a company who have headquarters in my home town. Though would have been more useful had the course started on a Monday… Course was interesting, although was never going to compete with the Lake District, and frankly, I couldn’t really see it’s relevance to my day job. But still.
So, Wednesday night back to Cambridge, only to have a half day on Friday so that I can go back down south to see the show my step mum was in. It’s a most unfortunate fact that all the time I was at university, she always managed to be in shows during exams, or during Fresher’s week or at some other time that meant I couldn’t get back to see it, whereas practically all of my dad’s and brother’s shows fell during the holidays, or in the middle of term when I was going home anyway. I always felt bad, as if my step mum might think it was a deliberate snub, when it completely wasn’t, hence moving heaven and earth to get back to see it. Especially as I would get to see both my brother’s and my dad’s shows later in the month, but more of that later.
The show was an Olde Tyme Music Hall, and was absolutely fantastic. There were a lot of old faces that I hadn’t seen in a while, people I’ve known since I was four, so that was lovely. Fantastic songs, hilarious sketches, including one guy doing two Ronnie Barker monologues absolutely wonderfully (and did occasion a most amusing moment when I overheard two ladies next to me remark “oo, it’s just like something out of The Two Ronnies, isn’t it?”)
But I couldn’t stay for long as that Saturday was when I was to do my Swimamajig for Marie Curie Cancer Care. So Saturday afternoon, back on the train I hopped, back to Cambridge, ready to swim at 6pm. And I did it; I swam 1.5km in 54:37; a whole ten minutes faster than my previous best time. I’m rather proud of myself, as you may be able to tell. And they gave me a medal:
Next year, 2.5km. (Incidentally, if my feats of physical endurance have impressed you, you can still sponsor me here: http://my.artezglobal.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=340382&langPref=en-CA&Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.swimathon.org%2fpage.php%3fpage%3dSponsor_a_swimmer)
And a huge thanks to everyone who sponsored me. I’m still collecting some of the sponsor money, and I’ll post the final total when I have it, but it’s looking likely that I’ll have raised about £200!
To continue my tale of busy, the Tuesday after that, I flew to Belfast in order to chair a meeting. Put like that it sounds very posh, but it really wasn’t. At my course in the Lake District, we were all assigned a Facilitated Learning Group, which is basically a group of (in my case) 10 grads and we’re supposed to meet up 5 times before September to discuss career plans and yadda and yadda. We also have to do a challenge of some kind at some point. Anyway, there is me, The Other Grad, about 6 guys from the London office, and a guy from Belfast. Obviously, we had to have meeting in Belfast, as it just wouldn’t be fair to expect him to fly over here every time. It was our first one, and as no one else wanted to do it, I volunteered. Meeting was long and boring, but still, it was in Belfast, so was pretty damn cool.
Belfast is… interesting. I’m not sure it’s a place I really want to go to again, although I can’t really judge the place on the 24 hours I spent there. However, driving to the hotel in the taxi, we noticed we were driving towards a large mural painted on the side of a building, informing us we were about to enter a unionist part of the city. May as well have been a big sign saying “Fuck off English”. Thankfully, we turned away from it, but we were still rather too close for my liking. And then we discovered that the hotel we were staying in had previously been bombed by the IRA. So that was uplifting. On the other hand, my room came with a rubber ducky!
of Irish Guy’s friends, because I’m not sure what would have happened if we’d ended up in the wrong bar or the wrong part of the city. It’s the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt in a place, I think. Still, we ended up in a pub where some people were playing traditional Irish music, so that was pretty cool.
Anyway, meeting over Wednesday afternoon, back to the airport we go. Oh yeah, and this is the trip I realise I have a little bit of a thing for one of the London Guys (he’s tall, Scottish and a bit musical, are you really surprised?)
So the Friday wasn’t exactly busy, but it was the day I met the new grad we have hired who starts in September. He has the same name as The Other Grad, and The Guy, so that’s nice and easy to remember. And not confusing at all. He seems like he might be a little boring, but we took him to lunch with everyone and he wasn’t intimidated by the more … ponderously geeky members of staff. I think he might be one of those Serious Geeks though, which could damp my fun a little. He is also sorta nicknamed miniature!Tony Stark, because he sorta looks like him. But with the good bits taken out. The Other Grad bet me £5 I couldn’t slip an Iron Man reference into our conversation. This is made harder by the fact that he’s only seen the film. I managed it, but it was neither elegant, nor amusing, so he only game me £2, but nevertheless, I made a profit that day!
Then that weekend I went to nevaendinstorey ’s for her birthday and saw plum177 , bethan_b_bad , requiem2adream and bloodrunner666 . And much fun was had by all. This was the weekend I discovered how awesome Wank Sock were, especially their first single, Cum Stains On My Life. But The Rubbery Mushrooms have totally sold out, man.
So then Wednesday I finished work and went on holiday for 13 days. It was lush. And where the me being busy excuse for not updating runs out and the me being lazy excuse kicks in.
Thursday was my step dad’s birthday, and then in the evening I went to see my darling brother in Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. It’s not my favourite show, but this was very good. It was all kids from his drama school thing (it’s one of those weekend things where they learn singing and dancing and acting, not quite a drama club, but not exactly a school either) and other branches in the area and they had a week’s workshop to put but the show together. A week. It was brilliant. My brother was Potiphar and had to wear a fat suit, and I discovered that not only can he sing and dance and act, but he has apparently inherited my dad’s funny gene. And the pratfall gene. He absolutely had me in hysterics, with this really odd posh voice that I didn’t even know he could do. There were some other brilliant kids in the show too.
After that, I mostly bummed around, having a BBQ at my Nan’s on Easter Sunday, having an old school sleep over round my friends’ on Sunday night and going to the cinema.
Thursday night was my dad’s turn. He was in The Wizard of Oz. He was a crow in the first act and a rather camp Emerald City Guard in the second act. And in my not biased at all opinion he stole the show a little bit. Him and The Great And Powerful Oz. They just both had more energy and life than pretty much anyone in the cast. Well, I guess the dog they had playing Toto was a little show stealy as well. Very cute and very well behaved, despite being manhandled all over the shop. The Wicked Witch was delightfully over the top, and had proper Crazy Eyes.
Then we get to Friday. Ah Friday. Me and 5 other brave (or is that foolhardy) souls went to London, not to see the Royal Wedding, but to go to a recording of Cabin Pressure, which is only my favourite radio sitcom ever, about a small charter airline called MJN air. It stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Roger Allam, Stephanie Cole and the genius that is John Finnemore, who also writes it. I first got into it as part of the La Cage Aux Folles obsession, but it is so unbelievably funny, that I got hooked. I can’t really describe how brilliant it was, you’ll just have to listen to it when it airs in July. I think the last time I laughed so hard was, well, listening to the Cabin Pressure Christmas Special. Sheer, unadulterated awesome.
Anyway, after that, we found ourselves heading in the direction of the palace anyway, so decided to go and see what all the fuss was about. Didn’t really get to see anything, but hey, I can say I was there!
And then Saturday, back on a train (again!), this time to Cardiff. And most excellent it was too. We cooked meat on a fire and watched the Royal Wedding, on iplayer, fast forwarding through the boring bits and playing the Royal Wedding Drinking Game which was mostly rules we made up as and when we felt like it. On Sunday, probably, we went to see Thor which was *awesome* and I need to see it again. Also saw trailers for Captain America which was even more awesome as well as Pirates of the Caribbean (not as awesome but has Roger Allam in it) and X-Men: First Class which looks ridiculous and fun and kind of awesome.
And then Tuesday it was back home in time for work on Wednesday.
Phew. That took rather longer than anticipated.
Also this month my obsession with The Axis of Awesome, and especially Benny, the keyboard player, continues to grow. Their songs are just awesome and he is just so cute! Look! He's asleep! In a hat!
After that brief break with sanity, I guess it's on to the reviews!
First up
Serving Sara (2002)
Another Matthew Perry film. This one a little more recent. It was a very silly romantic comedy. Matthew Perry is a process server who has to serve Liz Hurley with divorce papers. She runs away, and when he catches up, as the divorce would be better for her if she serves her husband first, they make a deal that he will not file the papers and help her serve her husband in return for… £1 million dollars!
Thus begins a Mad Cap Romp from New York to Texas where Wacky Hijinks occur and the inevitable happens and they fall in love.
So far, so ridiculous rom com plot line. Not something that would actually happen, but at least grounded in a reality of a sort. However, there are just a few little odd moments that completely screw with your suspension of disbelief and leave you going “oh come on, that is so beyond ridiculous, that would never, never happen in real life.”
The first of these is that Matthew Perry grows wine in his apartment. Wine. In his apartment. Apparently he really wants his own vineyard, but as he can’t afford it, he has to make do with his apartment.
On it’s own, not too terrible, and probably something you could overlook if it wasn’t for the rest of it.
The second is one of the Wacky Hijinks that occur at an airport and involve our heroes getting onto that bit where they weigh your luggage and send it to the plane and end up in the big bit where they sort all of the suitcases. It’s like that scene from Toy Story 2. It makes no sense. There is no way in any reality that they would be able to do that. Oh yeah, and then she empties a whole bunch of suitcases in order to steal some clothes. How pissed off would you be if that was your holiday?
The final is The Husband’s Bodyguard. A large black guy who dresses like a cowboy. Complete with snakeskin shoes. That still have the heads of the snakes on. The first time we see him, he is in a basement and has a whimpering man in office wear tied to a pole and is threatening him with serious physical torture. And what does the poor tortured man say? “I don’t know where the stapler is!”
I mean seriously what? You expect me to believe that this dude has a guy on his payroll who tortures people to find out the location of office equipment. It’s just ridiculous. It’s the straw that breaks the camels back. Once I see how ridiculous this is, I can’t help but notice all the normal ridiculous bits that I would normally ignore or let slide. Movie, you made me question your inner reality too deeply and you broke it.
One the good side, the movie also contains Matthew Perry in a tux with Designer Stubble. And he was something of a Bad Boy so got to smoke and wear a leather jacket and have spiky hair. And apparently (according to my live tweeting) a coat and scarf combination that looked like it walked off of the cover of GQ.
So, in summary, a decently ok rom com ruined by just being too ridiculous.
Secondly,
Wolf (1994)
This has James Spader in it. Also Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer. And David Hyde Pierce. And in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it role, Alison Janney.
This is a werewolf movie. This is not a horror movie. I think the imdb summary sums it up best - “Publisher Will Randall becomes a werewolf and has to fight to keep his job.”
That’s right. A character becomes a werewolf and the film is mostly about the struggle he has keeping his job as editor of a large publishing house. It’s a… I guess it’s a “people stand around in rooms and talk about their feelings” film.
Basic plot: Jack Nicholson runs over a wolf and gets bit. He slowly changes into a werewolf. He discovers James Spader has been having an affair with his wife and bites him. Later on he kills his wife. He has an almost relationship with Michelle Pfeiffer. James Spader also turns into a werewolf. They fight. Some people die. James Spader is shot. Jack Nicholson… possibly runs off to live in the woods. It is implied that Michelle Pfeiffer is somehow also a werewolf. The film ends.
And that’s it. It is almost definitely the most boring werewolf movie you will ever see. The thing is, I would much rather watch James Spader’s story. Not just because he is pretty. I mean, he is, but that’s not why. I just think that his is a much more interesting story. The proper werewolf horror movie story. You don’t really get to see him much, but you get the feeling he was the one who went on mad killing rampages and killed teenagers in forests.
Also, Jack Nicholson is just fucking creepy. What with him smiling like the Joker all the damn time. I get that that is just his normal smile, but who the fuck smiles like the joker all the time??? Also, early on I decided he looked like a Zombie Dean Stockwell, and now I can’t unsee it.
And now you won't be able to either...
Tattoo watch: alas, no. *sadface*
Summary: I never thought werewolves could be so boring.