I Know
Title: I Know
Author: niblettk
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Dave Karofsky, Azimio Adams
Warning: none that I can think of.
Spoilers: Up to 2.12.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Genre: hurt/comfort, angst
Author’s Note: I'm not a fan of this, but I don't hate it enough to hide it away on my computer forever.
Summary: Burt knew before Kurt. Azimio knows before Dave.
Word Count: 1,404
Azimio Adams is smarter than he looks. He doesn’t get good grades but he knows people, has always been able to tell what people are thinking. Sometimes, with people he knows really well, he knows things about them that he’s not sure they know themselves.
So he’s kind of pissed at himself when it takes him until midway through sophomore year to figure out that Dave, his best friend for as long as he can remember, is gay.
They’ve been throwing the glee kids around for months now, but they’ve started to centralize their bullying on the Goth chick and Hummel. For a while, he’d thought it was the Goth chick, but then one day something slides into place and he just knows.
They’ve just threatened to bring friends the next time, Hummel’s eyes lighting up as he looked at Hudson, and Karofsky is slamming things around in his locker. Az looks over and asks, “Why do we care about Hummel?” and Dave stops, like even he doesn’t know, and then shrugs, like he doesn’t care enough to think about it.
And then Azimio knows. He backs off immediately, ignoring Dave’s texts and putting space between them in classes and in hockey and at lunch times. He doesn’t give a reason. He’s cold and distant for all of ten days before he can’t stand it. Dave is still Dave, right?
So he goes online, searching homosexuality and homophobia and he suddenly understands that Hummel has balls if he’s walking around like he owns the place. He doesn’t even want to think about how hard it’ll be for somebody to realize that they’re something they’ve been raised to hate, been raised to think is wrong on every level.
He makes sure Dave knows they’re still friends, tells Dave he was only having a tough time, he’s sorry, let’s hang out. They do, and Az tosses a bouncy ball at Dave’s arm and says, “You’re my best friend, dude. You know that, right?” Dave calls him a pussy and then, after a split moment of hesitation, nods and grunts.
But Dave doesn’t know, not what Az suspects is true. He starts to doubt his own judgement, think he’s wrong sometime in the middle of the summer, so he doesn’t bring it up. It comes back full force the first day of French class in junior year.
Hummel struts into the room, grimacing when he sees that Az is his seat partner for the year, but he slides into the seat with more grace than anyone else in this school has. He looks different: he’s grown about two inches, there’s not an ounce of fat left on his body or even in his face, and he looks like a model. His cheeks are rosy and his pants are plastered on, as usual.
Two rows over, Dave groans.
Hummel keeps his head up the entire class, chin defiantly raised as if daring somebody to comment on his new elfin features. He answers the teacher in perfect, fluent French.
Az can see Dave out of the corner of his eyes, sinking lower in his seat every time Hummel opens his mouth.
As the end of class, Hummel flounces out and Az wanders over to Dave. “You coming?” he says, but Dave keeps his head down.
“I’ll catch up,” he mumbles, “I just need to get these notes down.” Az thinks about pushing it, but Dave’s hand is clenched far too tight on his pencil and he’s hunkered far enough over that Az can tell what he’s hiding, so he leaves him there and waits outside the cafeteria.
A week later, the glee club dances through the outdoor lunch area. Dave’s eyes stay on Hummel the entire performance, and he mutters “Fags” under his breath as they all wander off disappointed.
Another week later, Dave goes out for football even though Az knows he hates it. He smashes through blocking and takes down three players a drill. Beiste laughs and high fives him every time, and it’s no surprise when he makes first string. A few days later, Az finds him pounding the stuffing out of a punching bag and just steps up to hold it.
Hummel’s dad is in the hospital for a few weeks in October, and it makes things shitty because Dave practically starts glowing when Az suggests they lay off for a bit.
Azimio never starts back in on him, but he knows that Dave does. He doesn’t realize how bad it was getting until Dave is expelled. He crawls through Azimio’s window, drunk out of his mind, at about three in the morning, and mutters apologies into the toilet all night. Az isn’t sure if he’s apologizing to the toilet, Az, or Kurt.
Dave kind of curls in on himself for a few weeks. He barely talks and when he does he avoids all mention of the glee club. Az starts prepping himself to just ask him outright, but he calls some hotline and they tell him he’s got to let Dave come out on his own.
Then he starts getting angry, targeting Hudson for a few days and shouting down their coach before she gives up trying to make them work on the field and forces them all into the glee club to help them bond to make them work off it.
He catches Dave’s eye after Berry calls him a homophobe; Dave argues feebly against Beiste but gives up quickly, so Az fights for him, making rude comments during rehearsal so Dave doesn’t have to.
He’s not pleased about being in Glee because he’s uncoordinated and he can’t sing, but he realizes a few days into Zombie Camp that Dave is enjoying himself. So he sucks it up and pretends he likes it too, so Dave can stop pretending he doesn’t.
He does want to hit Dave when he suggests they do another song, but he just laughs at his friend and compliments him on the song choice; it’s apparent that the lyrics mean more to him than they do to Az.
When the puck-heads call Dave gay he shrinks in on himself, and Az is kind of thankful that all of the Glee guys are stupid because Dave’s thoughts are written on his face.
Everything goes to shit after that. Dave quits, and Az has to plead with him, pulling out the disappointed father card because that’s where they’re the same, where he knows Dave usually can’t fight him.
He doesn’t know what happens between the locker room and the moment when Dave runs into his place on the field. It’s the first time Az has seen him smile - really smile - in weeks. He has to wait until after the number to hug his friend. Even if it’s more of an awkward neck rap, it’s still more of a hug than either of them usually initiates.
When they get back to school the next Monday, Az stops Hudson after first and tells him Dave seemed to really like it. He sings a few lines of “She’s Not There” when Hudson asks him to join too, to prove that he can’t sing, but then he claps his hand on Hudson’s shoulder and tells him to ask Dave.
Azimio catches Hudson’s eye a few days later; the other boy merely shrugs.
Dave gets quiet again for a few weeks, and then it’s Valentine’s Day. The black chick takes time out of her lunch period to come over and threaten bodily harm if any of them turn up at Breadsticks on the Saturday after.
Dave shows up drunk again, but not nearly as bad this time. He can still stand, managing the walk up to Azimio’s room, and he knows what he’s saying when he mumbles, “I’m gay, Az.”
And it’s out there. Azimio’s been waiting for weeks and he heaves a great big sigh of relief, dropping into his desk chair. Dave isn’t looking at him, and he starts to think maybe he’s taken too long to answer so he hurries to talk.
“I know.” He explains about Goo-Ga week or whatever and how it was easy to see and how it was so hard not to smack his buddy up the head for fucking up his chances with Hummel, and then Dave is crying, sobbing uncontrollably, and it’s really all Az can think of to sit on the bed and hug his friend.
Author: niblettk
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Dave Karofsky, Azimio Adams
Warning: none that I can think of.
Spoilers: Up to 2.12.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Genre: hurt/comfort, angst
Author’s Note: I'm not a fan of this, but I don't hate it enough to hide it away on my computer forever.
Summary: Burt knew before Kurt. Azimio knows before Dave.
Word Count: 1,404
Azimio Adams is smarter than he looks. He doesn’t get good grades but he knows people, has always been able to tell what people are thinking. Sometimes, with people he knows really well, he knows things about them that he’s not sure they know themselves.
So he’s kind of pissed at himself when it takes him until midway through sophomore year to figure out that Dave, his best friend for as long as he can remember, is gay.
They’ve been throwing the glee kids around for months now, but they’ve started to centralize their bullying on the Goth chick and Hummel. For a while, he’d thought it was the Goth chick, but then one day something slides into place and he just knows.
They’ve just threatened to bring friends the next time, Hummel’s eyes lighting up as he looked at Hudson, and Karofsky is slamming things around in his locker. Az looks over and asks, “Why do we care about Hummel?” and Dave stops, like even he doesn’t know, and then shrugs, like he doesn’t care enough to think about it.
And then Azimio knows. He backs off immediately, ignoring Dave’s texts and putting space between them in classes and in hockey and at lunch times. He doesn’t give a reason. He’s cold and distant for all of ten days before he can’t stand it. Dave is still Dave, right?
So he goes online, searching homosexuality and homophobia and he suddenly understands that Hummel has balls if he’s walking around like he owns the place. He doesn’t even want to think about how hard it’ll be for somebody to realize that they’re something they’ve been raised to hate, been raised to think is wrong on every level.
He makes sure Dave knows they’re still friends, tells Dave he was only having a tough time, he’s sorry, let’s hang out. They do, and Az tosses a bouncy ball at Dave’s arm and says, “You’re my best friend, dude. You know that, right?” Dave calls him a pussy and then, after a split moment of hesitation, nods and grunts.
But Dave doesn’t know, not what Az suspects is true. He starts to doubt his own judgement, think he’s wrong sometime in the middle of the summer, so he doesn’t bring it up. It comes back full force the first day of French class in junior year.
Hummel struts into the room, grimacing when he sees that Az is his seat partner for the year, but he slides into the seat with more grace than anyone else in this school has. He looks different: he’s grown about two inches, there’s not an ounce of fat left on his body or even in his face, and he looks like a model. His cheeks are rosy and his pants are plastered on, as usual.
Two rows over, Dave groans.
Hummel keeps his head up the entire class, chin defiantly raised as if daring somebody to comment on his new elfin features. He answers the teacher in perfect, fluent French.
Az can see Dave out of the corner of his eyes, sinking lower in his seat every time Hummel opens his mouth.
As the end of class, Hummel flounces out and Az wanders over to Dave. “You coming?” he says, but Dave keeps his head down.
“I’ll catch up,” he mumbles, “I just need to get these notes down.” Az thinks about pushing it, but Dave’s hand is clenched far too tight on his pencil and he’s hunkered far enough over that Az can tell what he’s hiding, so he leaves him there and waits outside the cafeteria.
A week later, the glee club dances through the outdoor lunch area. Dave’s eyes stay on Hummel the entire performance, and he mutters “Fags” under his breath as they all wander off disappointed.
Another week later, Dave goes out for football even though Az knows he hates it. He smashes through blocking and takes down three players a drill. Beiste laughs and high fives him every time, and it’s no surprise when he makes first string. A few days later, Az finds him pounding the stuffing out of a punching bag and just steps up to hold it.
Hummel’s dad is in the hospital for a few weeks in October, and it makes things shitty because Dave practically starts glowing when Az suggests they lay off for a bit.
Azimio never starts back in on him, but he knows that Dave does. He doesn’t realize how bad it was getting until Dave is expelled. He crawls through Azimio’s window, drunk out of his mind, at about three in the morning, and mutters apologies into the toilet all night. Az isn’t sure if he’s apologizing to the toilet, Az, or Kurt.
Dave kind of curls in on himself for a few weeks. He barely talks and when he does he avoids all mention of the glee club. Az starts prepping himself to just ask him outright, but he calls some hotline and they tell him he’s got to let Dave come out on his own.
Then he starts getting angry, targeting Hudson for a few days and shouting down their coach before she gives up trying to make them work on the field and forces them all into the glee club to help them bond to make them work off it.
He catches Dave’s eye after Berry calls him a homophobe; Dave argues feebly against Beiste but gives up quickly, so Az fights for him, making rude comments during rehearsal so Dave doesn’t have to.
He’s not pleased about being in Glee because he’s uncoordinated and he can’t sing, but he realizes a few days into Zombie Camp that Dave is enjoying himself. So he sucks it up and pretends he likes it too, so Dave can stop pretending he doesn’t.
He does want to hit Dave when he suggests they do another song, but he just laughs at his friend and compliments him on the song choice; it’s apparent that the lyrics mean more to him than they do to Az.
When the puck-heads call Dave gay he shrinks in on himself, and Az is kind of thankful that all of the Glee guys are stupid because Dave’s thoughts are written on his face.
Everything goes to shit after that. Dave quits, and Az has to plead with him, pulling out the disappointed father card because that’s where they’re the same, where he knows Dave usually can’t fight him.
He doesn’t know what happens between the locker room and the moment when Dave runs into his place on the field. It’s the first time Az has seen him smile - really smile - in weeks. He has to wait until after the number to hug his friend. Even if it’s more of an awkward neck rap, it’s still more of a hug than either of them usually initiates.
When they get back to school the next Monday, Az stops Hudson after first and tells him Dave seemed to really like it. He sings a few lines of “She’s Not There” when Hudson asks him to join too, to prove that he can’t sing, but then he claps his hand on Hudson’s shoulder and tells him to ask Dave.
Azimio catches Hudson’s eye a few days later; the other boy merely shrugs.
Dave gets quiet again for a few weeks, and then it’s Valentine’s Day. The black chick takes time out of her lunch period to come over and threaten bodily harm if any of them turn up at Breadsticks on the Saturday after.
Dave shows up drunk again, but not nearly as bad this time. He can still stand, managing the walk up to Azimio’s room, and he knows what he’s saying when he mumbles, “I’m gay, Az.”
And it’s out there. Azimio’s been waiting for weeks and he heaves a great big sigh of relief, dropping into his desk chair. Dave isn’t looking at him, and he starts to think maybe he’s taken too long to answer so he hurries to talk.
“I know.” He explains about Goo-Ga week or whatever and how it was easy to see and how it was so hard not to smack his buddy up the head for fucking up his chances with Hummel, and then Dave is crying, sobbing uncontrollably, and it’s really all Az can think of to sit on the bed and hug his friend.