...just like that, I decided to survive. Depression and I are no strangers to one another; we've been acquaintances my whole life. This round was particularly difficult, though definitely not the longest that I've faced. It's so hard when you're in it to keep telling yourself it's going to be okay; you will feel like yourself again and sooner than you know.
I spent the week sleeping and sobbing for hours a day. I couldn't get any food down, so I've lost 12 lbs living on juice, milk, and vitamins.
In the middle of my crowded ICU the other morning, I heard an unfamiliar melody on the radio that called to me across the room. I listened to the lyrics and knew I had found my "fight song," though it still took me a day to find the resolve to stop wallowing and rally. I posted it to facebook and let everyone know what was happening and why I've been so sad. I hadn't wanted to talk about things at work, but turns out having all that support has been a huge relief. I've felt more "me" in the past couple days and have been able to turn off my brain and not think about things for awhile.
I went to the new artist's facebook page and she's still small enough that you can private message her. I felt the need to thank her for giving my struggles a voice, for giving me an anthem. I got this message back last night "Heather, thank you for sharing! You are so incredibly strong, and have so much fight in you... Never forget that! I will be sending you so much love and strength., always keep fighting!!"
This is my anthem.
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So go buy this single and Rachel Platton's whole EP, 'cause that girl is my damn hero.