Unreadable
Title: Unreadable
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Kangin
Pairings: 2woon, Yewon
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot.
Summary: This was not what he actually wanted.
"I'm sorry Siwon."
With those words, Yesung left Siwon alone in the basketball court. The small man's figure disappeared in just a few seconds, but it's a painful hour, for Siwon to watch his retreated back.
And that man never did look back.
***
Should that man depressed him? Should he admitted his defeat and beg for him to come back? Should he fight, for this feeling?
Siwon felt blessed that he's currently in Shenzhen. This is an unknowing place, in the middle of a totally different life.
No dancing.
No singing.
No Yesung.
But still. It's just the fucking same, to have acted all the time.
Pretended to be always happy. Faked some smiles to the China Siwonests that were following him everywhere. Portrayed a totally different life, a totally different Choi Siwon for his drama shoots. Pretended to be that enthusiast for his colleagues' chit-chats even though he barely understand any words.
The only thing he could feel grateful for was that he was away.
Away from him, away from a half of his life.
Yesung was a half of his heart that he was currently giving away.
***
He didn't blame anyone.
He didn't blame those men who fell for him unconditionally.
Yesung shrugged. Yeah as if, he thought.
As if I'm the only one for him. He never felt like it's true. Like it's the truth what Siwon had been telling him all this time. He can have the whole world for himself anyway, and that's why.
Siwon was no one for him. He's not significant. At anything.
Perhaps…. Siwon is just… a half of his heart.
He smiled at an American girl in front of him. Hey, this girl had some cute cute dimples.
Which dimples--
He shaked his head and pried an image of a sweet smiling Siwon inside his head.
"Ice… Americano?"
"Yes," the girl answered.
"Largee? Lar-geee?" crappy English for the fans and they're jumping to the moon. This is Handel and Gretel anyway they should have known.
"Yes large."
Then again, some dimple's smile.
***
"Yesung-ah…"
Yesung let the man enveloped him in a tight hug
"Kangin."
It was a needy hug and Yesung melted.
When he felt Kangin's pink muscle moving for permission, he opened his mouth. Letting him explore him. Dominated him.
He liked to be dominated anyway, no matter who was it.
He sensed Kangin's musky scent. He inhaled and actually found something wrong.
He used to adore this, he used to crave for this man's touch. The exotic feel of his body.
He parted the kiss, and left the living room with a panting Kangin behind.
"Yesungie, where are you going? Please come back..."
See, even Kangin asked him back. He thought as he run out of the dorm.
He was not like Siwon, with an iceberg ego.
***
"I need time, Kangin. Time to adjust back… with what we had before."
The big man in front of him just stayed silent, until a few minutes later.
"Why?" was all Kangin could manage.
Yesung bit his lips. This Kangin. Why was he so vulnerable?
"Been two years.."
"I understand." Kangin said.
"But I.. I don’t wanna let you go, " he pleaded.
The man's thick brows furrowed deeply. Yesung got lost in the sight.
But he just remembered some other brows.
"Can you… just wait? It's just for a moment, Kangin I promise."
Kangin didn't answer. He then touched Yesung's lips with his right thumb. He traced the dry surface.
Yesung was sure he saw Kangin's own mouth was started to get watery.
He knew Kangin wanted him, Kangin craved for the taste of his lips once again.
Yesung silently shivered.
With slight of disgust. And unwant.
"Forever, Jongwoon, and you would still find me waiting."
***
You couldn't just escape from me forever.
I will constantly remind you, and re-remind you, of your promises.
Well, Siwon thought bitterly as he sipped his morning coffee. What promise he ever made to him? He felt stupid.
What I want is a promise that we'll be together forever.
It's one of his part in Miracle's lyrics. He was always pointing the question to Yesung on stage, but the man was always moved away from him. All the time. He never tried to answer, even with just a faint smile.
That man was playing safe. All the time. And Choi Siwon was nothing but a blind lovesick toy to him.
He never once promised him anything. There were never any promises nor futures for him. And he believed in him.
No. His heart said coldly. It was me who betrayed you, Choi Siwon.
Siwon understand. It was him, his own heart, who made fake promises to himself that he and Yesung actually had a chance.
Once again, he felt sick. It's not lovesick it's just sick. He just wanna throw up, and dissappear.
***
Yesung quickly grabbed Kangin by his collar and crashed his plump lips to his.
Sharply when Siwon entered the living room.
He pretended not to sense Siwon's presence.
Kangin was enjoying this as he entered his tongue into his mouth once again. The man's noices of lust echoed the room as he was oblivious of Siwon's being there.
Yesung snaked his hands to the big man's neck in front of him. Deepened the kiss as he pulled Kangin's head closer to his.
He really wanted to open his eyes and stared at how Siwon would react, but he didn't dare. He also wanted to produce some lusty noises but he just… couldn't. He couldn't pretend that he enjoyed this.
He wanted… he wanted Siwon to react and just do something. Fought for his feelings for him.
But it's nothing.
After what it felt like an hour (not that it was a bad kiss but Yesung just couldn't feel it), he opened his eyes.
He just found Siwon's silent, stoic expression as the younger man approached them at their loveseat.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds, but Kangin Hyung, I really miss you and I just came from China."
Kangin parted the kiss, left Yesung who was panting behind. He stood up and hugged Siwon with all sincerity, though his face's flushed deep red.
"Look at this eye-candy baby. You grew well, Siwon." Kangin patted the younger man's back.
"I kept thinking of you when I'm in China, Hyung. Wanted to see you so bad."
Yesung felt a little spark in his chest, as he saw Siwon was staring at him from behind Kangin's back while saying this.
This time he got really lost in Siwon's eyes
But it is the end. Isn't it?
Yesung didn’t understand why did his heart just keep silent and not answering.
***
A/N 1: hey skyhigh2824, I changed my plot, so this is my piece of something. Haha please please tell me what you think!! I'm finally content I can write an angst. Thank God you wrote a romance, bcz angst is my only hope atm! :D
A/N 2: Ah, and for all my Yewonderful fellas, this fic is better than nothing for me, really. I had a HUGE writersblock for more than a month. I couldn't even update for Siwon's birthday fic. I really regretted it, since I tried to write, I built the mood and just couldn't write anything :( I'm really sorry T__T
A/N 3: And this fic is dedicated to Kangin's comeback! Welcome home buddy. Take care of Yesung will you, while Siwon's not around? But just don't fall in love with him! :3