Beyond Regrets
Title: Beyond Regrets
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Hangeng, Heechul, OC
Pairings: Yewon, Siwon/OC, brief!Hanchul
Genre: Angst, implied!smut
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Regrets always awfully hurt.
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot. The characters in the fic don't resembling the real characters in their real life.
( Finally the invitation came. )
while reading i got the feeling siwon was more lusting over yesung´s body, because he would thrust withou preparation or much talk, just attack him and have sex.
This Yesung looks like he craves for attention and love and it became a little serious with him thinking that was all the love he could have.
If Siwon really loved Yesung, he would never have sex with other people at Yesung´s face. Dont know why Siwon didnt want Yesung while as Super Junior´s members... but maybe Siwon got a wrong feeling about love and caring above his lusting and body needs.
Why he is marrying? Just because he needs a good girl for God´s Eyes? Then why drug someone to abuse and call this love and caring.
I really think Yesung and Siwon got their feelings very wrong, maybe a lack of comunication... but siwon did all that to yesung and i could see was a troubled mind boy scared of his own feelings and body urges. And a Yesung craving for attention, maybe this Yesung never got parents´s love and attention he really needs.
kisses ^^
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from what i get, you think Siwon was more in pure lust to Yesung and misunderstanding it as love? actually in the fic, Siwon started to feel something different from Yesung after he debuted as SJ. he picked random people, not any SJ members to handle his lust.my imagination while writing this was SIwon started to love Yesung (he's so care about him though Yesung stubbornly stated as fanservic) yet he, because of Yesung's constant rejection, had to find someone else for his lust... so you think he's in trouble of controlling his lust? is that mean that his love for Yesung didn't exist, in the view of psychology?
communication here, i really agree with you, is the major course. yesung's scepticism and silent-treatment to Siwon was the reflection of his aching heart. he protected himself too much from Siwon this way. and that, resulted to their misunderstanding toward each other.was there something studying about it in psychology?
in my mind, Siwon did married exactly for God's eyes, after that his image to people. that's because he had already giving up for Yesung.
*kissed you back* *giving chocochip cookies in a jar*
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Well, what Siwon did could be callled sexua abuse, even without penetration.. and if he thinks he can do that to Yesung because he loves him: he got a mental sickness. he misunderstood love and lust.
your fic is very rich to analyze! really, i am thinking hard about mental sickness about love. Because some people think what they are feeling is love, in some part of their life it got a different meaning and start to hurt anothers without knowing.
Your Siwon loves God, no? maybe the message he got at church was so strong to love a woman and not love a boy, when he is sexually atracted to man it can twist a mind or make him feel guilty. Maybe Yesung was a person he really admired or loved, but felt guilty to love then turned to lust and all turned wrong in his brain.
And Yesung was a very hard boy, he should have told someone or just talk to Siwon. Yesung would be another case to analyze...
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i actually made this fic not in homophobic society. so it's common to find gay couples here and there. but seemed like i was rather confused with the concept later in the fic. writing while crying, perhaps blew my sanities out, only emotions left. the only reason he marry a girl... idk, actually. i just thought that Siwon is a bi :) and because he failed miserably to love a boy, then he choose the easiest target and it happened to be a girl... is that make sense?
wow. i would really excited with your analysis to Yesung. actually *cough* Yesung's character in this fic is a resemblance of mine *cough*
so.... MORE COOKIES? i have some cane candies too for you! *shower you sweets and cookies*
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*goes to find out where you are from* oh indonesia! i am from Brazil ^^ nice to meet you!
well, sick or not, Siwon learned about feelings in a different way. Like i learned about love very different how you learned about love, how to show to people and everything.
Yesung could sue Siwon, yes. But he is in love and he craves that love, he needs it even if he says he doesnt want it. Like... the walk 2 feet way and come back 4 feets...
oh yes. even mental sick you can find love. but when you are used to that thinking, to feel that way and always make the same mistakes... its hard to make it right, makes a lot of work to break that circle of thinking.
yesung is you in this fic? oh!
maybe its not right, hope i am not right. But your Yesung is not very active, he waits for things to come to him. Maybe because his parents or people around him gave him much or lack of attention he needed to feel loved.
oh yes. i understand your explanation ^^
weee sweets and cookies... do you want something? i have cupcakes from my sister in law. very yummy
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so the mental sickness are cycles of mistakes, i have to be agree with you. and yes, i'm like what you're explaining, i'm inactive and always do the wait in terms of romantic relationship. it's not because the lack of love i think...since i got enough love and care from everyone around me. but i have thoughts that it might be has something to do with unpleasant childhood memory.. well i have some and i think it had deep affect on me now :( and will you agree with me in this? Yesung's confidence is very lacked because of his unpleasant childhood? (from parents or friends or girls). he is one of the most unconfident person i've ever seen. i think my case is better than him, at least i just act passively in terms of personal matter. hhe. on other aspect of live, i can proudly say i'm a happy person, unlike Yesung...
*uh i'm so sorry i was babbling. i hope you understand what i'm trying to say!
*i want a blueberry cupcake, do you have it? let's change it with my cookies and cream-flavored ice cream, i have too many here* *hugs*
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I liked this fic, very good and well written. the best thing: your heart is in there. I used to write a lot when i was sad (even my ex-boyfriend said once to me he would never take medicine for his depression, because he wanted to continue writing sad and amazing things).
Yes, it can happen because of past experiences. Everyday you change because of the things you see, feel and hear and it will affect you in the future. Maybe a small thing can turn into a big thing if you and your mental health is not ready for that impact.
About the real Yesung: i think he is shy and not confident. If you hear him saying about how his parents broke his cd player once, his dad was strict and money was little and he almost quit SME for that (remember, he went to seoul and his hometown almost everyday and had to study, i think i read he had good marks at school). All this things, can make a personality like Yesung, you see him: he is caring, affectionable and a little weird, our cute little weird boy heheh ^^
blueberry? never saw a blueberry here... i will try to find hehheehehee
(sorry i had to sleep, it was late. but i am here now hehe)
Hugs
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oh, how was your boyfriend? i'm sorry to hear that. but yes, sometimes we could do WONDER when we're stressed. but sometimes unability to do anything also caused by it. so being depressed wasn't always so bad right.
i read it somewhere about our experience could affect our beings. and i agree with you. childhood experience, especially, almost could never be healed :(
but didn't the real inner character of the person could affect their life too, past their experiences? because how could Yesung be such a caring, helpful person while he is lacked of love from others around him? that is one thing i'm so proud about him... it's his inner beauty that shines out of him :)
btw, why i can't reply your comment on my drabbles? it ended up became a reply for another person (1 attempt) and become an independent comment (2nd attempt). I'm sorry bb :(
*what about my ice cream? still wanna?*
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yeah, your caracter affects you, the outside word and everything. Almost everything affects how you interact with people and how you see the world around you.
i am proud of Jongwoon too ^__________________^
low fat ice cream? i want
*sorry, its late. i was working at a graduation ceremony... *
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*give you flowers*
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this job is very fun. today was cool, i dont like medicine and law because they treat like nothing. and today everyone was smiling and doing cute things (today was turism and mathematic at my place)
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