In This Together
Title: In This Together
Characters: Siwon, Yesung, Kyuhyun
Pairings: YeWon, onesided!KyuSung
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot
A/N: This is a sequel of Sciamachy, you don’t really need to read that to be able to understand this fic but I suggest you to read it if you haven’t, it won’t hurt! xP
A/N: Happy 29th birthday our Horse Prince Choi Siwon. God bless you and may happiness always be with you! <3
“Oppa, I didn’t know you were going home,” Jiwon smiles at her brother when the said man entered the huge apartment’s living room.
“Yeah, slight change of plan, Jiwonie,” Siwon puts his suitcase beside the dark brown couch and throws himself beside his sister. “Where are abeoji and eomeoni? They’re asleep already?”
Jiwon nods. “If we only knew you were coming, they would’ve wait for you,” Jiwon then gets up from her sitting position. “I’ll make you some lemon tea, Oppa. Have a good rest here.”
“Sorry for troubling you this time of night, Jiwonie,” Siwon stares at his sister who’s disappearing to the kitchen. “I’ll go freshen up a bit while waiting for the tea.”
“No problem, Oppa. That’s why you have to come home to your family, to have someone takes care of you when you’re all knocked up like this!”
Five minutes later the siblings are sitting on the living room’s couch once again, while a soft saxophone by Kenny G is playing from the stereo. Siwon sips on his hot tea gratefully, while his sister is sharing with him about their brand-new business, which is being called N407 at the moment. Both of them then get to be so immersed in their business conversation, exploring and brainstorming ideas and upcoming possibilities, and time flies so fast as the clock in front of them shows that it’s already 2 am.
“Look at the time, Oppa. I think you need to sleep right away, you look so tired.”
“I wish I can have more time to talk to you Jiwon-ah, I mean, not about business only…” Siwon tousles his sister’s long hair and can’t help but starts yawning.
“Then you need to go home more often, just spend less time in the dorm or your private apartment to see me as much as possible every night. That’s no rocket science, right?” Jiwon sarcastically answers while smiling. The identical smile that their father passed to her and her brother.
“Fine,” Siwon rolls his eyes. “I was wrong to spend so much time alone in my apartment compared to go home. But I bet even Bugsy misses me more than you do. You’re so busy yourself nowadays.”
“Of course I’m busy, Oppa, I also have a life of my own. But you won’t be saying that once I’m about to get married! You’re gonna miss me so much when that time comes.” Jiwon sticks her tongue out, and even before Siwon’s ready to retaliate, she’s sprinted to her room already.
“Yah, that kid!” Siwon mutters to himself, holding back his smile. “But… get married, really?” the Super Junior member gets up straight from his seat and shouting without thinking, “Jiwonie?!”
He only gets a faint giggles from Jiwon inside her locked bedroom.
Siwon decides to get a quick shower before goes to sleep. Ten minutes later he’s already warmed up in his pajamas under his bedcover, but something immediately comes to his mind, chasing his sleepiness away.
His “change of plan” was caused, by no other than his boyfriend, Yesung.
As per usual, today he had planned on meeting his boyfriend in his own apartment in Cheongdam. That was the couple’s routine every time Siwon came home from schedules abroad while Yesung couldn’t join him in Super Junior activities. Usually Yesung would cook for him and they’d enjoy a romantic dinner while catching up on each other’s lives, followed by sweet lovemaking round(s).
But tonight, just right after he landed on Incheon, Yesung called him to postpone their meeting.
“Wonie, I’m sorry but Kyuhyun just called and he asked me out for drinks tonight…”
“What?” dumbfounded Siwon immediately wanted to get off his car to find SJ’s maknae but his driver prevented him.
“Siwon-ah, what are you doing? We have to get out of this super crowded parking lot right now,” his driver said, while trying not to run over some excited sasaeng fans surrounding the car.
“Please forgive me, Wonie? I… I ran out of excuses to reject him this time,” his lover’s voice sounded weaker. “Kyuhyun doesn’t know… about us, so… he thinks I’m free all the time, you understand that, don’t you?”
“Damn it, Kyuhyun! I can’t see him right now, we’re already apart…. And you’ve already made a promise to me first!” Siwon could only grit his teeth.
“I’ll make up for you tomorrow, okay, Wonie?” Yesung panicly mumbled, sensing how mad his boyfriend was. “I’ll go straight to your apartment after work and… and we’ll spend…”
“Okay, Hyung. Got to go, bye.”
Siwon didn’t wait until Yesung finished speaking. Being a hot tempered person he was, it’s hard for him to think rationally at that moment without actually saying things that he might regret later to his boyfriend.
“Hyung,” Siwon called for his driver, “we go to Gangnam now, not Cheongdam.”
“Ah,” his driver nods. “Okay boss.”
Siwon bits his lips in anger upon remembering what has happened between him and Yesung. Yesung must’ve gotten hurt because of his immature reaction, but canceling a long awaited meeting is just wrong, isn’t it?
And Kyuhyun, is that kid insane? Siwon can’t help but wondering why Kyuhyun would ask Yesung out just right after they landed in Korea from China. Isn’t it a bit too much, since it’s already late and they are all tired?
The man buries his head deeper in his fluffy pillow, and out of curiosity he opens his phone to check on any updates of the “hang out”. Actually Siwon doesn’t know what he’s hoping to see, a selca or two of his boyfriend with one of his favorite dongsaengs for whom he’s happily abandoning his own boyfriend?
Subconsciously Siwon sighs in relief after finding nothing on Twitter. He starts to foolishly hope that for whatever reason, Yesung had canceled his meeting with Kyuhyun. Maybe he would feel guilty enough for abandoning his boyfriend? Even though Yesung hasn’t sent him a text or calling him anymore for two hours, Siwon knows his cold tone had left an effect on his boyfriend.
Siwon decides to update his Weibo instead, hoping that saying sweet things for his fans he’d just left in Nanjing could divert his mind a little bit. But upon opening his Weico application, a picture of smiling Yesung with a tired Kyuhyun beside him greets him from his timeline.
Siwon feels like throwing his iPhone to the floor out of anger.
Kyuhyun sure looks pretty happy even though he is tired as fuck. And Yesung. How dare Yesung smiles all so sweetly as if mocking his boyfriend, his lonely, abandoned boyfriend, this way?
Siwon sits up on the bed, tossing his blanket and bedcover away and gets himself a glass of fresh water from the bedside table. The handsome man then walks back and forth inside the spacious bedroom, with trembling fists and pursed lips.
He needs to calm himself down first. He knows he has this anger issue and upon agreeing to be in a trial relationship with Yesung, he’s met with some relationship counselor to solve the problem. He’s been through these first two months with some struggles, mostly because of time management (with all his schedules and stuffs). It’s not that he’s never dealt with jealousy issues during these two months, but all their issues were not as severe.
Well, never before Yesung actually chose to simply cancel his appointment with Siwon like this, a long-overdue meeting, nonetheless.
Yesung knows about his efforts but why does it seem that he’s alone in this? Yesung didn’t seem to care about the advice their counselor gave them at all, that he too, has to do some things, including minimize breaking promises?
But right now Siwon is just too tired to make a fuss about this, or rather, he really can’t actually be mad at his boyfriend without confronting the older like a maniac.
After about ten minutes Siwon gets exhausted and he feels like the anger subsides already. He grabs his phone from the bedside table and stares at the photo Kyuhyun had just posted. This time, he tries to eliminate any ill thoughts towards the maknae, and instead, focusing on his boyfriend’s sweet happy smile.
“You’re really beautiful, Hyung,” Siwon can’t help but smiling, watching his boyfriend’s uneven bangs and his small fingers posing for victory. “Such cute little fingers… I miss you.”
Out of habit, he kisses the screen of the phone, imagining that instead of a cold glass, it actually is Yesung’s soft cheek.
“Please don’t get drunk, baby, or else I’ll literally kill that maknae.”
Then his eyes bump on Kyuhyuns’ in the picture. And guilt starts to creep into his mind.
It’s exaggerating to say that Siwon is completely clueless of Kyuhyun’s feelings towards Yesung.
Of course he’s not that sure if Kyuhyun is also gay, but from time to time Siwon had caught the youngest member of SJ staring at Yesung more affectionately than what a friend would do, or did things that were so uncharacteristically Kyuhyun to Yesung, like getting Yesung a solo song from his favorite composer without the lead vocalist even asking (to say that Yesung was happy was totally misleading, he just went crazily happy), insisting to take Yesung home from his subway station whenever he’s got a free evening, making Yesung ramyeon (the only food Kyuhyun could make by himself) when the said man visits the dorm, keeps on talking to the turtle loving guy even when his Kyuline are on the dorm… it’s hard to not see, actually.
If it’s true, then, Siwon pities Kyuhyun for hiding it. He can imagine how hard it is to one-sidedly loving Yesung. He himself had gone through it for several years and it felt like torture. Hell on earth even.
His train of thought is interrupted by a picture message from Yesung.
“Sleep tight, nice dream Wonie. I’m really sorry. Here I send you a virtual kiss, until I can kiss you for real tomorrow… Love, Sungie.”
The picture is of Yesung blowing a kiss to the camera. His peach, voluminous lips are pursed in such a cute yet sensual manner, his eyes are staring hazily to Siwon’s eyes. And even though Yesung is properly dressed in the picture, Siwon feels hot all of the sudden.
“See you tomorrow my Love,” Siwon chooses to give a short reply. With a small smile gracing his lips, he starts to lie down under the bedcover once again and falls asleep a second after with Yesung’s sweet smile in his mind.
***
Siwon wraps up his photo shoot early today. He had worked so hard to be able to meet the photographers’ demands so that he could pick Yesung up from his work in the subway station. After sending his driver slash personal manager home by a cab, Siwon drives by himself and buys two cups of hot coffee for him and his boyfriend. He’s been expecting this time so much and thankfully Yesung also appears to feel the same as the older man throws himself into his embrace right away.
Completely hidden inside his masker, Siwon kinds of regret it for not being able to smell Yesung’s hair right away. He would kill to be able to get rid of the mask but he couldn’t, for safety’s sake.
They eat in a fancy Italian restaurant then head back to Siwon’s apartment in Cheongdam. Yesung takes a quick shower before joining him on the red velvet couch, listening to jazz and sipping red wine.
While Yesung starts to sip his wine, Siwon is busy contemplating in his mind, whether he has to talk about Kyuhyun or not to his boyfriend. They’d been abandoning the topic all this time, focusing on catching up with each other instead. Mostly because each of them had learned the importance of not discussing sensitive topics in public.
“I don’t know much about wine, anyway, so please don’t waste your money on serving me one,” Yesung teases him. The smaller man puts down his wine glass on the table and snuggles into Siwon’s embrace.
Siwon wraps Yesung’s smaller frame with both of his hands, this time not hesitating to sniff on the older’s hair.
“I have no one to drink them with, except you, what should I do?” Siwon shrugs in a proud manner, making Yesung giggles.
“Conceited rich brat…”
“Hmm, I miss you too,” Siwon lifts his boyfriend’s chin and kisses his lips. Yesung opens his lips gladly and they start to make out. Yesung kind of tasted like wine and mozzarella, Siwon thinks happily as he sucks on the older man’s tongue. “I love it when you tasted like wine. My boyfriend seems so mature,” Siwon says after breaking up the kiss to catch their breaths.
“I just need to get accustomed to wine after all, you guys really love it so I thought I should love it too,” Yesung approaches Siwon’s face again, asking for more kisses. His hands start to caress Siwon’s fully clothed abs sensually.
And usually Siwon would fall for his petite boyfriend’s advances right away, but something in Yesung’s words just kind of cold in his ears.
“What?” Siwon pushes away Yesung’s hands from his torso, a little bit harsher than what he initially meant. “Who are this ‘you guys’?”
“Eh?” Yesung is taken aback.
Siwon straightens up from his leaning position on the couch, making Yesung shifts from his initial position of leaning towards his boyfriend’s broad chest.
“You mean me, and… Kyuhyun?” Siwon continues, not seeing how Yesung’s expression starts to get a bit terrified.
“Oh… about that…” Yesung quickly looks away from Siwon’s prying eyes, looking at his own thighs instead. “Not only you and… and Kyuhyun, of course. Sungjoon hyung and… Sungmin hyung also love to drink wine. Even Doyeon hyung also…” the lead vocalist stutters.
Hearing Yesung’s stutter, something inside Siwon’s mind screams danger. Why would his boyfriend stutter when there’s nothing wrong in talking about Kyuhyun?
Siwon chooses not to say anything for several moments to calm his self down. Instead, he gets up from the couch, leaving Yesung alone while he goes to stand in the balcony all by himself. He’s having an irrational thought, and his counselor had asked him to stop talking for a moment and get away from Yesung every time he’d feel this way.
Five minutes of cold silence and thick tense, Siwon had already calmed down. His balcony provides a beautiful view of Seoul’s night sky and the air is quite fresh up here. He gets back to the family room where Yesung is still sitting firmly, waiting for him.
Yesung seems to be too immersed in his own thoughts, that he doesn’t even realize that Siwon’s approaching him. Siwon stops his movement midway to take a careful look of his boyfriend. Yesung’s brows furrowed, his thighs are shut together tensely and… he’s biting his right hand’s nails.
And it hits Siwon in the face, Yesung is afraid of him. And he is keeping a secret, which makes him more and more terrified of his boyfriend.
“Baby…” Siwon hesitantly calls. It’s really breaking his heart to see Yesung this way. Afraid and terrified of him as if he, Yesung’s own boyfriend, could or would do anything to really hurt him. Well maybe Siwon actually could, he’s, in fact, physically stronger than Yesung, but that’s obviously not the case, is that? Siwon wouldn’t. Not for anything in the world.
Yesung’s eyes widen involuntarily, reacting to Siwon’s call.
“Baby, I’m… sorry for just now, I…” Siwon approaches the couch, trying to show Yesung he’s not gonna flip out. That he’s sorry for alerting him so much.
“Wonie… we, we need to talk,” Yesung’s words really caught Siwon off guard this time.
Siwon starts to panic inside.
What if Yesung decides he couldn’t take any more of this and finally calls it quit? A healthy relationship wouldn’t require one party to be so jumpy and terrified as if walking on eggshells all the time, right?
Siwon was in the wrong, and he is willing to do everything in his might to make up to Yesung, to be a better boyfriend, being less obsessive, less terrifying….
“Please… sit here,” Siwon feels like a robot, cold from head to toe that he missed the trembled voice of his beloved.
Right after Siwon’s buttocks make contacts with the couch, his boyfriend once again throws himself into his embrace. Again, Siwon is caught off guard.
“I need to tell you… about… Kyu-Kyuhyun.”
Siwon can feel Yesung’s tears on his shirt. Siwon can’t say anything but listen to Yesung’s every single word carefully.
Of how Kyuhyun confessed to him about a year ago.
About his rejection to Kyuhyun.
About the lie the lead vocalist had to tell the maknae of him being straight.
About the guilt that has been eating himself alive for a year….
“I pity him, Wonie, I feel so evil for lying to him… after all that he’s done for me, I lied for so many things… to the person who really loves me…”
Siwon can do nothing but kissing Yesung’s head and drawing circles on the smaller man’s back to calm him down.
“I don’t know why I even told him that I was straight in the first place, was I afraid that he would know about my feelings for you or was I too afraid of breaking his heart?”
“I don’t know, baby,” Siwon answers truthfully.
Well, his mind is just boggled. He almost can’t believe everything he’d just heard, but he definitely knows that it’s true. He himself is already suspicious of Kyuhyun in the first place.
But Siwon really doesn’t have a clue, nor have he predicted that Yesung would choose to disclose all this to him, but he feels the faintest feelings of relief that Yesung does this….
He feels immeasurable relief that Yesung didn’t say the thing he’s most afraid of. And that Yesung actually trusts him with this secret. That he’s not afraid of Siwon’s anger in this issue. Siwon feels like Yesung starts to really trust him up to a certain level now.
Yesung’s been silent for some time now, save several hiccups and continuous sobs. Siwon is also lost in his thoughts, subconsciously caressing and kissing his boyfriend’s hair.
“Wonie,” Yesung weakly calls, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
Yesung, still with swollen eyes, and tears brimming in his eyes, looks up to see Siwon on the face. Siwon spontaneously uses his thumbs to erase the tears tracing his boyfriend’s face. Those soft cheeks are tainted and red, making his boyfriend such an adorable, yet heartbreaking, sight.
“Don’t you… don’t you have something to say about this?” Yesung looks nervous yet curious at the same time, trying his hardest to read Siwon’s disposition. Those single-lidded eyes, with hints of smeared eyeliner at each corners, eagerly searching right into the younger’s eyes.
For some moments, Siwon just can’t do nothing but looking back at his reflections in Yesung’s glassy eyes. Those eyes are always too strong, too captivating for him that he is sure, for the rest of his life, he would always love to get lost inside those shining orbs.
“Please, don’t be mad at Kyuhyun, Wonie? He confessed way before we got together. It’s not his fault that he feels this way….” Yesung says again with his cracked voice.
Siwon has finally made up his mind.
“I know, I can’t say I’m surprised, either, Sungie.”
He respects Yesung’s choice of telling him this secret, of which must’ve taken him a great deal to tell. He knows that Yesung was also afraid of what he might feel or do to Kyuhyun after knowing all this, so he needs to get his boyfriend’s trust fully,and being really open about this issue as well.
“What do you mean?” Yesung seems genuinely surprised.
“I won’t lie to you, I’ve seen the way he looked at you all this time, I’ve seen how he treated you differently… As a man, I knew.”
“You knew…?”
Siwon nods solemnly. “I needed to do everything I could to calm myself down last night,” Siwon smiles sheepishly. “But I knew instead of being mad at him… for stealing you from me last night, or being mad at you for canceling us, I should pity him. He couldn’t have you, while I could,” he smiles softly and caresses Yesung’s uneven bangs. “Then what is a drunken night for him when I can have you for myself for the rest of your days?”
Yesung shakes his head, but smiling nonetheless.
“Wonie,” he seems to lose his ability to talk.
“You know what? Looking at his face in the pictures that you both posted, I started to feel more and more grateful I’ve got you for myself only, Sungie baby. I mean… he had to squeeze his time to meet you, and your heart was not even fully there for him….”
“You’re right,” Yesung caresses Siwon’s chin, obviously amazed with his words. “I was thinking of you all those times, and I felt like I was giving Kyuhyun a chance that he could easily have misinterpret… you know, out drinking just the two of us so late in the night… so I talked to him in bringing Donghae and Ryeowook along. They barely made it to the gathering but it’s better that way.”
Siwon can’t help but giggling a bit hearing his boyfriend’s innocent words.
“My genius baby,” he teases the petite man.
“Seriously though, Wonie, I’m happy that you feel this way. I really thought you’re gonna be really mad at me….”
“You’re just doing what’s right, honey. I know your kind heart. You didn’t do that to intentionally hurt me, you… you did what your heart said best. Kyuhyun needed you more than I was…”
Yesung interrupts Siwon’s words with a sweet kiss.
“But still, I was wrong, Wonie. I apologize, I won’t dismiss our appointment so sudden like that again. I promise,” Yesung whispers on Siwon’s lips.
“Can I keep your words?” Siwon kisses Yesung back slightly, and lifts the older’s chin once more to stare into his small, yet shining eyes.
“Of course,” Yesung touches Siwon’s forehead with his own forehead, then presses their noses together. “We’re in this… together.”
***
FIN/TBC*
*I cannot decideA/N: This fic turns out differently from what I had imagined, and it’s not that I purposely wrote it as a sequel to Sciamachy but as usual… a story writes itself. I’m sorry if you guys couldn’t catch the feelings of the story (my writing ability’s never been great) but I really intended for this fic to be able to depict Siwon’s side of the relationship. Maybe I was not too detailed abt the counseling thingy, tbh I’ve never put too much consideration to Sciamachy and the upcoming sequel(s) since I was busy these days. Please forgive my lack of capability *bow*
Characters: Siwon, Yesung, Kyuhyun
Pairings: YeWon, onesided!KyuSung
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I only own the story and the plot
A/N: This is a sequel of Sciamachy, you don’t really need to read that to be able to understand this fic but I suggest you to read it if you haven’t, it won’t hurt! xP
A/N: Happy 29th birthday our Horse Prince Choi Siwon. God bless you and may happiness always be with you! <3
“Oppa, I didn’t know you were going home,” Jiwon smiles at her brother when the said man entered the huge apartment’s living room.
“Yeah, slight change of plan, Jiwonie,” Siwon puts his suitcase beside the dark brown couch and throws himself beside his sister. “Where are abeoji and eomeoni? They’re asleep already?”
Jiwon nods. “If we only knew you were coming, they would’ve wait for you,” Jiwon then gets up from her sitting position. “I’ll make you some lemon tea, Oppa. Have a good rest here.”
“Sorry for troubling you this time of night, Jiwonie,” Siwon stares at his sister who’s disappearing to the kitchen. “I’ll go freshen up a bit while waiting for the tea.”
“No problem, Oppa. That’s why you have to come home to your family, to have someone takes care of you when you’re all knocked up like this!”
Five minutes later the siblings are sitting on the living room’s couch once again, while a soft saxophone by Kenny G is playing from the stereo. Siwon sips on his hot tea gratefully, while his sister is sharing with him about their brand-new business, which is being called N407 at the moment. Both of them then get to be so immersed in their business conversation, exploring and brainstorming ideas and upcoming possibilities, and time flies so fast as the clock in front of them shows that it’s already 2 am.
“Look at the time, Oppa. I think you need to sleep right away, you look so tired.”
“I wish I can have more time to talk to you Jiwon-ah, I mean, not about business only…” Siwon tousles his sister’s long hair and can’t help but starts yawning.
“Then you need to go home more often, just spend less time in the dorm or your private apartment to see me as much as possible every night. That’s no rocket science, right?” Jiwon sarcastically answers while smiling. The identical smile that their father passed to her and her brother.
“Fine,” Siwon rolls his eyes. “I was wrong to spend so much time alone in my apartment compared to go home. But I bet even Bugsy misses me more than you do. You’re so busy yourself nowadays.”
“Of course I’m busy, Oppa, I also have a life of my own. But you won’t be saying that once I’m about to get married! You’re gonna miss me so much when that time comes.” Jiwon sticks her tongue out, and even before Siwon’s ready to retaliate, she’s sprinted to her room already.
“Yah, that kid!” Siwon mutters to himself, holding back his smile. “But… get married, really?” the Super Junior member gets up straight from his seat and shouting without thinking, “Jiwonie?!”
He only gets a faint giggles from Jiwon inside her locked bedroom.
Siwon decides to get a quick shower before goes to sleep. Ten minutes later he’s already warmed up in his pajamas under his bedcover, but something immediately comes to his mind, chasing his sleepiness away.
His “change of plan” was caused, by no other than his boyfriend, Yesung.
As per usual, today he had planned on meeting his boyfriend in his own apartment in Cheongdam. That was the couple’s routine every time Siwon came home from schedules abroad while Yesung couldn’t join him in Super Junior activities. Usually Yesung would cook for him and they’d enjoy a romantic dinner while catching up on each other’s lives, followed by sweet lovemaking round(s).
But tonight, just right after he landed on Incheon, Yesung called him to postpone their meeting.
“Wonie, I’m sorry but Kyuhyun just called and he asked me out for drinks tonight…”
“What?” dumbfounded Siwon immediately wanted to get off his car to find SJ’s maknae but his driver prevented him.
“Siwon-ah, what are you doing? We have to get out of this super crowded parking lot right now,” his driver said, while trying not to run over some excited sasaeng fans surrounding the car.
“Please forgive me, Wonie? I… I ran out of excuses to reject him this time,” his lover’s voice sounded weaker. “Kyuhyun doesn’t know… about us, so… he thinks I’m free all the time, you understand that, don’t you?”
“Damn it, Kyuhyun! I can’t see him right now, we’re already apart…. And you’ve already made a promise to me first!” Siwon could only grit his teeth.
“I’ll make up for you tomorrow, okay, Wonie?” Yesung panicly mumbled, sensing how mad his boyfriend was. “I’ll go straight to your apartment after work and… and we’ll spend…”
“Okay, Hyung. Got to go, bye.”
Siwon didn’t wait until Yesung finished speaking. Being a hot tempered person he was, it’s hard for him to think rationally at that moment without actually saying things that he might regret later to his boyfriend.
“Hyung,” Siwon called for his driver, “we go to Gangnam now, not Cheongdam.”
“Ah,” his driver nods. “Okay boss.”
Siwon bits his lips in anger upon remembering what has happened between him and Yesung. Yesung must’ve gotten hurt because of his immature reaction, but canceling a long awaited meeting is just wrong, isn’t it?
And Kyuhyun, is that kid insane? Siwon can’t help but wondering why Kyuhyun would ask Yesung out just right after they landed in Korea from China. Isn’t it a bit too much, since it’s already late and they are all tired?
The man buries his head deeper in his fluffy pillow, and out of curiosity he opens his phone to check on any updates of the “hang out”. Actually Siwon doesn’t know what he’s hoping to see, a selca or two of his boyfriend with one of his favorite dongsaengs for whom he’s happily abandoning his own boyfriend?
Subconsciously Siwon sighs in relief after finding nothing on Twitter. He starts to foolishly hope that for whatever reason, Yesung had canceled his meeting with Kyuhyun. Maybe he would feel guilty enough for abandoning his boyfriend? Even though Yesung hasn’t sent him a text or calling him anymore for two hours, Siwon knows his cold tone had left an effect on his boyfriend.
Siwon decides to update his Weibo instead, hoping that saying sweet things for his fans he’d just left in Nanjing could divert his mind a little bit. But upon opening his Weico application, a picture of smiling Yesung with a tired Kyuhyun beside him greets him from his timeline.
Siwon feels like throwing his iPhone to the floor out of anger.
Kyuhyun sure looks pretty happy even though he is tired as fuck. And Yesung. How dare Yesung smiles all so sweetly as if mocking his boyfriend, his lonely, abandoned boyfriend, this way?
Siwon sits up on the bed, tossing his blanket and bedcover away and gets himself a glass of fresh water from the bedside table. The handsome man then walks back and forth inside the spacious bedroom, with trembling fists and pursed lips.
He needs to calm himself down first. He knows he has this anger issue and upon agreeing to be in a trial relationship with Yesung, he’s met with some relationship counselor to solve the problem. He’s been through these first two months with some struggles, mostly because of time management (with all his schedules and stuffs). It’s not that he’s never dealt with jealousy issues during these two months, but all their issues were not as severe.
Well, never before Yesung actually chose to simply cancel his appointment with Siwon like this, a long-overdue meeting, nonetheless.
Yesung knows about his efforts but why does it seem that he’s alone in this? Yesung didn’t seem to care about the advice their counselor gave them at all, that he too, has to do some things, including minimize breaking promises?
But right now Siwon is just too tired to make a fuss about this, or rather, he really can’t actually be mad at his boyfriend without confronting the older like a maniac.
After about ten minutes Siwon gets exhausted and he feels like the anger subsides already. He grabs his phone from the bedside table and stares at the photo Kyuhyun had just posted. This time, he tries to eliminate any ill thoughts towards the maknae, and instead, focusing on his boyfriend’s sweet happy smile.
“You’re really beautiful, Hyung,” Siwon can’t help but smiling, watching his boyfriend’s uneven bangs and his small fingers posing for victory. “Such cute little fingers… I miss you.”
Out of habit, he kisses the screen of the phone, imagining that instead of a cold glass, it actually is Yesung’s soft cheek.
“Please don’t get drunk, baby, or else I’ll literally kill that maknae.”
Then his eyes bump on Kyuhyuns’ in the picture. And guilt starts to creep into his mind.
It’s exaggerating to say that Siwon is completely clueless of Kyuhyun’s feelings towards Yesung.
Of course he’s not that sure if Kyuhyun is also gay, but from time to time Siwon had caught the youngest member of SJ staring at Yesung more affectionately than what a friend would do, or did things that were so uncharacteristically Kyuhyun to Yesung, like getting Yesung a solo song from his favorite composer without the lead vocalist even asking (to say that Yesung was happy was totally misleading, he just went crazily happy), insisting to take Yesung home from his subway station whenever he’s got a free evening, making Yesung ramyeon (the only food Kyuhyun could make by himself) when the said man visits the dorm, keeps on talking to the turtle loving guy even when his Kyuline are on the dorm… it’s hard to not see, actually.
If it’s true, then, Siwon pities Kyuhyun for hiding it. He can imagine how hard it is to one-sidedly loving Yesung. He himself had gone through it for several years and it felt like torture. Hell on earth even.
His train of thought is interrupted by a picture message from Yesung.
“Sleep tight, nice dream Wonie. I’m really sorry. Here I send you a virtual kiss, until I can kiss you for real tomorrow… Love, Sungie.”
The picture is of Yesung blowing a kiss to the camera. His peach, voluminous lips are pursed in such a cute yet sensual manner, his eyes are staring hazily to Siwon’s eyes. And even though Yesung is properly dressed in the picture, Siwon feels hot all of the sudden.
“See you tomorrow my Love,” Siwon chooses to give a short reply. With a small smile gracing his lips, he starts to lie down under the bedcover once again and falls asleep a second after with Yesung’s sweet smile in his mind.
***
Siwon wraps up his photo shoot early today. He had worked so hard to be able to meet the photographers’ demands so that he could pick Yesung up from his work in the subway station. After sending his driver slash personal manager home by a cab, Siwon drives by himself and buys two cups of hot coffee for him and his boyfriend. He’s been expecting this time so much and thankfully Yesung also appears to feel the same as the older man throws himself into his embrace right away.
Completely hidden inside his masker, Siwon kinds of regret it for not being able to smell Yesung’s hair right away. He would kill to be able to get rid of the mask but he couldn’t, for safety’s sake.
They eat in a fancy Italian restaurant then head back to Siwon’s apartment in Cheongdam. Yesung takes a quick shower before joining him on the red velvet couch, listening to jazz and sipping red wine.
While Yesung starts to sip his wine, Siwon is busy contemplating in his mind, whether he has to talk about Kyuhyun or not to his boyfriend. They’d been abandoning the topic all this time, focusing on catching up with each other instead. Mostly because each of them had learned the importance of not discussing sensitive topics in public.
“I don’t know much about wine, anyway, so please don’t waste your money on serving me one,” Yesung teases him. The smaller man puts down his wine glass on the table and snuggles into Siwon’s embrace.
Siwon wraps Yesung’s smaller frame with both of his hands, this time not hesitating to sniff on the older’s hair.
“I have no one to drink them with, except you, what should I do?” Siwon shrugs in a proud manner, making Yesung giggles.
“Conceited rich brat…”
“Hmm, I miss you too,” Siwon lifts his boyfriend’s chin and kisses his lips. Yesung opens his lips gladly and they start to make out. Yesung kind of tasted like wine and mozzarella, Siwon thinks happily as he sucks on the older man’s tongue. “I love it when you tasted like wine. My boyfriend seems so mature,” Siwon says after breaking up the kiss to catch their breaths.
“I just need to get accustomed to wine after all, you guys really love it so I thought I should love it too,” Yesung approaches Siwon’s face again, asking for more kisses. His hands start to caress Siwon’s fully clothed abs sensually.
And usually Siwon would fall for his petite boyfriend’s advances right away, but something in Yesung’s words just kind of cold in his ears.
“What?” Siwon pushes away Yesung’s hands from his torso, a little bit harsher than what he initially meant. “Who are this ‘you guys’?”
“Eh?” Yesung is taken aback.
Siwon straightens up from his leaning position on the couch, making Yesung shifts from his initial position of leaning towards his boyfriend’s broad chest.
“You mean me, and… Kyuhyun?” Siwon continues, not seeing how Yesung’s expression starts to get a bit terrified.
“Oh… about that…” Yesung quickly looks away from Siwon’s prying eyes, looking at his own thighs instead. “Not only you and… and Kyuhyun, of course. Sungjoon hyung and… Sungmin hyung also love to drink wine. Even Doyeon hyung also…” the lead vocalist stutters.
Hearing Yesung’s stutter, something inside Siwon’s mind screams danger. Why would his boyfriend stutter when there’s nothing wrong in talking about Kyuhyun?
Siwon chooses not to say anything for several moments to calm his self down. Instead, he gets up from the couch, leaving Yesung alone while he goes to stand in the balcony all by himself. He’s having an irrational thought, and his counselor had asked him to stop talking for a moment and get away from Yesung every time he’d feel this way.
Five minutes of cold silence and thick tense, Siwon had already calmed down. His balcony provides a beautiful view of Seoul’s night sky and the air is quite fresh up here. He gets back to the family room where Yesung is still sitting firmly, waiting for him.
Yesung seems to be too immersed in his own thoughts, that he doesn’t even realize that Siwon’s approaching him. Siwon stops his movement midway to take a careful look of his boyfriend. Yesung’s brows furrowed, his thighs are shut together tensely and… he’s biting his right hand’s nails.
And it hits Siwon in the face, Yesung is afraid of him. And he is keeping a secret, which makes him more and more terrified of his boyfriend.
“Baby…” Siwon hesitantly calls. It’s really breaking his heart to see Yesung this way. Afraid and terrified of him as if he, Yesung’s own boyfriend, could or would do anything to really hurt him. Well maybe Siwon actually could, he’s, in fact, physically stronger than Yesung, but that’s obviously not the case, is that? Siwon wouldn’t. Not for anything in the world.
Yesung’s eyes widen involuntarily, reacting to Siwon’s call.
“Baby, I’m… sorry for just now, I…” Siwon approaches the couch, trying to show Yesung he’s not gonna flip out. That he’s sorry for alerting him so much.
“Wonie… we, we need to talk,” Yesung’s words really caught Siwon off guard this time.
Siwon starts to panic inside.
What if Yesung decides he couldn’t take any more of this and finally calls it quit? A healthy relationship wouldn’t require one party to be so jumpy and terrified as if walking on eggshells all the time, right?
Siwon was in the wrong, and he is willing to do everything in his might to make up to Yesung, to be a better boyfriend, being less obsessive, less terrifying….
“Please… sit here,” Siwon feels like a robot, cold from head to toe that he missed the trembled voice of his beloved.
Right after Siwon’s buttocks make contacts with the couch, his boyfriend once again throws himself into his embrace. Again, Siwon is caught off guard.
“I need to tell you… about… Kyu-Kyuhyun.”
Siwon can feel Yesung’s tears on his shirt. Siwon can’t say anything but listen to Yesung’s every single word carefully.
Of how Kyuhyun confessed to him about a year ago.
About his rejection to Kyuhyun.
About the lie the lead vocalist had to tell the maknae of him being straight.
About the guilt that has been eating himself alive for a year….
“I pity him, Wonie, I feel so evil for lying to him… after all that he’s done for me, I lied for so many things… to the person who really loves me…”
Siwon can do nothing but kissing Yesung’s head and drawing circles on the smaller man’s back to calm him down.
“I don’t know why I even told him that I was straight in the first place, was I afraid that he would know about my feelings for you or was I too afraid of breaking his heart?”
“I don’t know, baby,” Siwon answers truthfully.
Well, his mind is just boggled. He almost can’t believe everything he’d just heard, but he definitely knows that it’s true. He himself is already suspicious of Kyuhyun in the first place.
But Siwon really doesn’t have a clue, nor have he predicted that Yesung would choose to disclose all this to him, but he feels the faintest feelings of relief that Yesung does this….
He feels immeasurable relief that Yesung didn’t say the thing he’s most afraid of. And that Yesung actually trusts him with this secret. That he’s not afraid of Siwon’s anger in this issue. Siwon feels like Yesung starts to really trust him up to a certain level now.
Yesung’s been silent for some time now, save several hiccups and continuous sobs. Siwon is also lost in his thoughts, subconsciously caressing and kissing his boyfriend’s hair.
“Wonie,” Yesung weakly calls, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
Yesung, still with swollen eyes, and tears brimming in his eyes, looks up to see Siwon on the face. Siwon spontaneously uses his thumbs to erase the tears tracing his boyfriend’s face. Those soft cheeks are tainted and red, making his boyfriend such an adorable, yet heartbreaking, sight.
“Don’t you… don’t you have something to say about this?” Yesung looks nervous yet curious at the same time, trying his hardest to read Siwon’s disposition. Those single-lidded eyes, with hints of smeared eyeliner at each corners, eagerly searching right into the younger’s eyes.
For some moments, Siwon just can’t do nothing but looking back at his reflections in Yesung’s glassy eyes. Those eyes are always too strong, too captivating for him that he is sure, for the rest of his life, he would always love to get lost inside those shining orbs.
“Please, don’t be mad at Kyuhyun, Wonie? He confessed way before we got together. It’s not his fault that he feels this way….” Yesung says again with his cracked voice.
Siwon has finally made up his mind.
“I know, I can’t say I’m surprised, either, Sungie.”
He respects Yesung’s choice of telling him this secret, of which must’ve taken him a great deal to tell. He knows that Yesung was also afraid of what he might feel or do to Kyuhyun after knowing all this, so he needs to get his boyfriend’s trust fully,and being really open about this issue as well.
“What do you mean?” Yesung seems genuinely surprised.
“I won’t lie to you, I’ve seen the way he looked at you all this time, I’ve seen how he treated you differently… As a man, I knew.”
“You knew…?”
Siwon nods solemnly. “I needed to do everything I could to calm myself down last night,” Siwon smiles sheepishly. “But I knew instead of being mad at him… for stealing you from me last night, or being mad at you for canceling us, I should pity him. He couldn’t have you, while I could,” he smiles softly and caresses Yesung’s uneven bangs. “Then what is a drunken night for him when I can have you for myself for the rest of your days?”
Yesung shakes his head, but smiling nonetheless.
“Wonie,” he seems to lose his ability to talk.
“You know what? Looking at his face in the pictures that you both posted, I started to feel more and more grateful I’ve got you for myself only, Sungie baby. I mean… he had to squeeze his time to meet you, and your heart was not even fully there for him….”
“You’re right,” Yesung caresses Siwon’s chin, obviously amazed with his words. “I was thinking of you all those times, and I felt like I was giving Kyuhyun a chance that he could easily have misinterpret… you know, out drinking just the two of us so late in the night… so I talked to him in bringing Donghae and Ryeowook along. They barely made it to the gathering but it’s better that way.”
Siwon can’t help but giggling a bit hearing his boyfriend’s innocent words.
“My genius baby,” he teases the petite man.
“Seriously though, Wonie, I’m happy that you feel this way. I really thought you’re gonna be really mad at me….”
“You’re just doing what’s right, honey. I know your kind heart. You didn’t do that to intentionally hurt me, you… you did what your heart said best. Kyuhyun needed you more than I was…”
Yesung interrupts Siwon’s words with a sweet kiss.
“But still, I was wrong, Wonie. I apologize, I won’t dismiss our appointment so sudden like that again. I promise,” Yesung whispers on Siwon’s lips.
“Can I keep your words?” Siwon kisses Yesung back slightly, and lifts the older’s chin once more to stare into his small, yet shining eyes.
“Of course,” Yesung touches Siwon’s forehead with his own forehead, then presses their noses together. “We’re in this… together.”
***
FIN/TBC*
*I cannot decideA/N: This fic turns out differently from what I had imagined, and it’s not that I purposely wrote it as a sequel to Sciamachy but as usual… a story writes itself. I’m sorry if you guys couldn’t catch the feelings of the story (my writing ability’s never been great) but I really intended for this fic to be able to depict Siwon’s side of the relationship. Maybe I was not too detailed abt the counseling thingy, tbh I’ve never put too much consideration to Sciamachy and the upcoming sequel(s) since I was busy these days. Please forgive my lack of capability *bow*