(no subject)
Five Jobs or The Perils of Employment
Fandom: Kamen Rider Kiva
Rating: PG
Notes: Riki and Ramon flit from job to job in the time between episode 23 and episode 29.
1.
Perhaps construction work was not the wisest suggestion, thinks Jiro as he watches Riki trundle around the site doing both his share of the work and Ramon’s. Ramon is otherwise occupied, busy squirming away from the hopeful embrace of a stocky middle-aged builder.
“They,” says Ramon once Jiro has managed to drag him away from the stocky man, indicating the construction site workers, “think I’m their pet or their mascot. They keep scratching me under the chin and stroking me.”
Jiro frowns. He’s the only person allowed to patronise Ramon.
The next day the stocky builder is unable to come to work, having been involved in “an unfortunate accident”.
2.
Ramon and Riki are fired within two hours of being hired to provide reception music for an upscale hotel. Ramon sits at the Grand Piano and plays the slowest songs he knows for Riki’s benefit but even Amazing Grace simply isn’t slow enough as Riki drags every syllable out to an agonisingly long, tuneless conclusion.
“It’s a remix,” tries Ramon desperately when the manager comes over to speak to them, his mouth drawn into a tight line. “Just give people a little while to get it and they’ll love Riki, really.”
The manager doubts him. It’s their shortest job ever.
3.
They’re not even hired for the next job they apply for. The host club owner takes one look at Riki, then at Ramon, and begins laughing so hard neither of them can get a word in edgeways.
4.
Working at dog kennels is easily Riki’s favourite job ever. There isn’t a dog there that doesn’t adore him, and the fact that it takes Riki a full half hour to complete a sentence doesn’t matter to a single breed, from the noisy Chihuahua that wiggles its entire behind in excitement when it sees Riki approach to the huge German Shepherd that demands play fights with him.
Ramon doesn’t have the heart to tell Riki he wants to apply for a new job, something that doesn’t involve noisy, slobbering hairballs trying to wrestle food from his hands on a daily basis. He settles for “forgetting” to feed them when it’s his turn to do so and placing their water bowls ever so slightly out of their reach.
He’s rather surprised when it’s this that gets them fired rather than something Riki did, which is after all the usual reason.
5.
Riki’s second favourite job is helping out at a local nursery. Children, like dogs, love Riki, and there isn’t a minute of their day there when Riki isn’t being used as a jungle gym by hordes of excited kids.
“He’s very popular, isn’t he?” says another helper to Ramon as they sit in the corner of the room, grateful for a little time away from stubborn little hands and surprisingly sharp little teeth.
Ramon only mumbles a non-committal response. His mind is in other places, mainly the bike shed at the back of the nursery car park where he left a half eaten five year old.
“Riki,” he says to his friend once the day is over. “How do you feel about setting up a street stall?”
It usually takes Riki a good fifteen minutes to consider and reply to such a question but after five Ramon decides he’ll just assume a positive answer and gets to work on their resignations from the nursery.
Fandom: Kamen Rider Kiva
Rating: PG
Notes: Riki and Ramon flit from job to job in the time between episode 23 and episode 29.
1.
Perhaps construction work was not the wisest suggestion, thinks Jiro as he watches Riki trundle around the site doing both his share of the work and Ramon’s. Ramon is otherwise occupied, busy squirming away from the hopeful embrace of a stocky middle-aged builder.
“They,” says Ramon once Jiro has managed to drag him away from the stocky man, indicating the construction site workers, “think I’m their pet or their mascot. They keep scratching me under the chin and stroking me.”
Jiro frowns. He’s the only person allowed to patronise Ramon.
The next day the stocky builder is unable to come to work, having been involved in “an unfortunate accident”.
2.
Ramon and Riki are fired within two hours of being hired to provide reception music for an upscale hotel. Ramon sits at the Grand Piano and plays the slowest songs he knows for Riki’s benefit but even Amazing Grace simply isn’t slow enough as Riki drags every syllable out to an agonisingly long, tuneless conclusion.
“It’s a remix,” tries Ramon desperately when the manager comes over to speak to them, his mouth drawn into a tight line. “Just give people a little while to get it and they’ll love Riki, really.”
The manager doubts him. It’s their shortest job ever.
3.
They’re not even hired for the next job they apply for. The host club owner takes one look at Riki, then at Ramon, and begins laughing so hard neither of them can get a word in edgeways.
4.
Working at dog kennels is easily Riki’s favourite job ever. There isn’t a dog there that doesn’t adore him, and the fact that it takes Riki a full half hour to complete a sentence doesn’t matter to a single breed, from the noisy Chihuahua that wiggles its entire behind in excitement when it sees Riki approach to the huge German Shepherd that demands play fights with him.
Ramon doesn’t have the heart to tell Riki he wants to apply for a new job, something that doesn’t involve noisy, slobbering hairballs trying to wrestle food from his hands on a daily basis. He settles for “forgetting” to feed them when it’s his turn to do so and placing their water bowls ever so slightly out of their reach.
He’s rather surprised when it’s this that gets them fired rather than something Riki did, which is after all the usual reason.
5.
Riki’s second favourite job is helping out at a local nursery. Children, like dogs, love Riki, and there isn’t a minute of their day there when Riki isn’t being used as a jungle gym by hordes of excited kids.
“He’s very popular, isn’t he?” says another helper to Ramon as they sit in the corner of the room, grateful for a little time away from stubborn little hands and surprisingly sharp little teeth.
Ramon only mumbles a non-committal response. His mind is in other places, mainly the bike shed at the back of the nursery car park where he left a half eaten five year old.
“Riki,” he says to his friend once the day is over. “How do you feel about setting up a street stall?”
It usually takes Riki a good fifteen minutes to consider and reply to such a question but after five Ramon decides he’ll just assume a positive answer and gets to work on their resignations from the nursery.