In the lukewarm rain which does not stop...
holy shit.
i'm still in total fucking shock right now.
soooo, today was the dir en grey show. i was honestly pretty worried that it would just be lame, our seats would suck, we wouldn't be able to see, we wouldn't have meet and greet, and we would go home disappointed.
goddam was i wrong.
so, 8:00 i hear my phone alarm go off, and i wake up pretty instantly (sleeping with anticipation is extremely difficult) and everyone starts getting ready. i decided that i would just go around and help everyone else with anything before worrying about my own stuff right away, because if i'm all ready and running around to many different people, i'm going to just screw up everything i just did. so it took me until about an hour until we were supposed to leave until i actually started to get ready. make-up started off hella lame and i was getting totally discouraged, plus my hair was frizzed from the moisture so i was even more discouraged. but blah blah, i put in my contact and finished everything and felt alright, got my hair done and shizz and we were ready to leave. at one point we stopped and it started to rain, and at the time we were really close, so i was damn concerned it was going to be raining there. so we continue and the rain starts coming down harder. at first i start to feel really shitty, but then as were listening to withering, i'm getting really excited and i'm like, fuck it. this is dir en grey. i'll see them rain or shine. if my hair isn't perfect, who cares. then! i started to get extremely nervous.. my heart was beating all fast, and i could even feel tears, and we were still a half hour away. as we're getting closer, the weather is clearing up immensely. so we finally get there and i'm breathing so heavy. and at random korn shirt wearers, i shouted "korn sucks" out the moving car window XD well at least that way they can't catch me ^^; and we park and everyone is peeing themselves, quite literally XD nervous + actual need to pee = uh oh~
but then we panic...... OMG, WHAT IF THEY ARE PLAYING RIGHT NOW..... *nearly runs to entrance* me:*looks down* SHIT! i forgot to take my chains off ._. so i had to walk back to the car and stick them in the trunk. XD some random passer-by is like, "you look mad" and i'm like, i am. so yes, and we walk back and continue the near sprint to the entrance. we see many many people with the same shirt. we see one girl and Laino asks her if she knows what time dir en grey come on (we arrived at 2:00 which is when family values began) and she told us 5:00, so the near crap we had in our pants subsided ^^; so we got to where they check you, and there is a sign that says, "ask me how to meet the band" - we had heard that only select cities actually had the meet and greet, so we were sure we would not be one of them. so we go over to ask, and this lady is like, who do you want to meet? and we're like, can you meet dir en grey? and another guy is like yes, you have to buy a cd and get a wrist band, so all of are like, HOSHIT! so the line-up was 1) it withers and withers 05 tour dvd - $50 2) vulgar - $30 3) withering to death - $20. we're like, dayum.. we don't need/can't afford these things. we decide to think about it, and the guy gives us these cards with dir en grey one them. there is an add for ryoujoku no ame single, and i'm like, it's too bad they don't have this, and the guy is like they do inside, it's $18.. and we're lik O_O! can you meet them if you buy that one, and he's like yeah, so we're like ======> lets go!
we go over to the other tent thingy and here they also have vulgar[ism] and the clever sleazoid single. everyone bought the ryoujoku no ame single seeing as it is the newest thing out. clever sleazoid is great, but i'm pretty sure we all have that mp3 anyways. may as well buy something we don't have. since my mom was with me, and she wanted to meet them too, she bought the single for me, and as my birthday present, gave me extra to get the it withers and withers tour dvd, which they all autographed and i have constant paranoia that it's wiping off ^^;;; but yeah, so we all had a wristband to meet them and a cool new single. now we go to the main building to get out that previously mentioned pee. on the way over some random girl takes a picture of me and Laino XD poor Laino got stung in the parking lot, so we also stopped by first aid to get some little rub on crap, that apparently actually helped, so thumbs up to that b^^d and we proceed to find a spot on the lawn where we can properly enjoy the show~ at this time it was about 3:00 so we had about 2 hours to go. when we came down, deadsy was playing, so we're like :þ lame. then they play their one hit grammercy park or however the hell you spell it. then they play a rush song -0- nice. then bury your dead come out, and fucking mosh pit forms right next to us and a bunch of drunken retards nearly hit/actually hit us a few times. goddam that is one of the most hideous displays of hormone overload i've ever seen. fuckers~ after their dumbasses leave, 10 years or something come on. between those two sets there we found more dir en grey fans and we all moved closer. XD this one girl was like, "i want to hug you, you look like yuki" and i'm like O_o...who is yuki? and she is like "XD i don't know why i have yuki stuck in my head, i meant kyo" so i'm like O_O! me.....k-kyo....? noooooooo~ then this other emo kid hugs me too and says he likes my eye XDD so yes, 10 years is playing and we're waiting paitently for dir en grey. 10 years gets off and we're up instantly.
holy crap, so, they pull out shinya's drum set and everyone fucking screams, then this guys comes out after a while and is like, blahblah, "well, since everyone freaked out just when the drum set came out, i expect you to be louder when i mention their name, dir en grey is next!" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yes, we were louder this time ^^;; then their poster goes up and we're freaking out XD this is awesome, because every other band before this, no one screamed for these things. people walking by were giving the puzzled O_o face. i'm damn proud though that we were so loud. then we saw his red podium thing come out, that he stands on.. it's like o.o.... he is going to stand on that... so were waiting waiting waiting........................
G.D.S. starts playing...
O_O
wow... i really never expected them to play this.. i mean, yes, it has been their intro song lately.. but here, at this show with half hour sets.. holy shit it was awesome! we all threw our fist foward and shouted "kill" each time, and i saw many other people do it too. then we slowly see the band come out and everyone is damn loud now. all their little heads... ; 0 ;... we could see the blonde of kyo's head come out T^T i honestly don't remember the order of everything, the girls and i will probably try to work together to compile a set list, but for now i'll just try to list some of the ones they did~
G.D.S.
-unknown song-
saku
dead tree
Kodoku ni Shisu, Yueni Kodoku.
Itoshisa ha Fuhai Nitsuki
Ryoujoku no ame
GARBAGE
THE FINAL
Merciless Cult
THE IIID EMPIRE
well, mostly this is not the right order and i think i am forgetting some, but i'm just still so shocked that i can't even really believe i saw them. and i just realized they didn't play kodou ._____. that's ok though. anyways, the show was awesome, and i really do think kyo saw us, there were several times that he i feel like i was looking right at him and him back (not that i'm saying he was looking at me, but you know what i mean, when you can tell someone is looking in your direction) and there were a couple of times he sat on the ground facing away from us, and even kaoru is on our good list again ^_^ he was looking in our direction also and when we cheered he'd put his arms out.. it was really awesome. and in the final, kyo sung a note and held it forever! i was fucking impressed, i was out of breath just from watching, but yeah (damn i just started crying really hard) yeah and he like ripped his shirt off at some point too, and some stupid bitch yelled to take his pants off. bastard.
ah yeah, so that was amazing, and i wanted to say to everyone i was with too, i was happy to hear all of you sing along also. i knew you would, but it made me so happy that we finally all sang together, and even better, with kyo. i'm starting to think i should sleep, but i'll quickly finish up because i don't want to leave this unfinished.
after we did everything (bathroom, blah) we went to get in line. after a while people start to cheer and we start to move. of course our big question at this time is who, who? some girl runs over and says, "it's kyo!!" we're like.....................fuck no... he's never come out at any of these, we've only heard of shinya and kaoru........ then her friend is like, you're mean~ so we thought maybe she was just saying kyo cos thats who her friend would want to meet anyways, so we're like ._. then someone comes back again and says, "it is, it is!" and we didn't know what it was about, but we suspected that maybe... then two people come from that direction (where meet and greet is) and they look euphoric, we try to get their attention to see who it was, and after 4 times calling to them, someone says "ki-yo"..translation - kyo...........................no way. no fucking way..... so now, i'm realy fucking nervous. we get closer and i can see his goddam blonde again, and Laino and i drop our jaws and cling on to eachother, but it's too late, we're already there ; 0 ; .. in the car my mom was asking me what she could say, and just playfully talking with her, i teach her hajimemashite, however at that time, i didn't really think it would happen. so everyone goes first and my mom and i wait because the guard guy asked us to. then when they're out, he let us in, and my mom actually says hajimemashite -0- i was kinda hoping it would be kyo, or that we would just run into him, despite the odds, because i actually had something i wanted to say to him, though i highly doubted it would be him ~.~ so i walk up to him and give him my hand and he said thank you right away, and since everyone seemed to just go by so fast, i wanted to hurry up and say what i wanted so, so i said, "ano.. watashi no yume wa utau.. arigatou" (um.. it is my dream to sing.. thank you).. he seemed to smile and smile gently at that, but then i am afraid maybe i didn't say it right or he didn't understand.. but i think i would understand broken english, so i will just stay positive and believe he understands broken japanese. then we all stood watching him as he finished the greet. then as he left, everyone cheered, he lowered his glasses (i think he may have winked) and he smiled big... as i cheered, it became tears, and all of us cried hard and hugged.. it was the weirdest cry, it was sad and happy at the same time. fucking sad and fucking happy... now when i cry about this, i still don't know what it is, i'm not sure if it's becuase i don't believe it, i don't believe i met kyo, touched his hand, that they're gone now, that i really love them so much... i don't know.. it's such a mix.. this is the emotional burst i always expected i would get from the concert that truly fucking meant something to me. i thought the offspring would be the one, but when that was cancelled, i knew it wasn't meant to be. this, was so fucking meant to be. that dreaded rain that we worried about.. as we waiting in line to meet -unsuspectingly- kyo, we felt tiny drops.. however, it never started to rain until after we met him. not that that's a big deal, but we all got to at least feel decent about out appearances while meeting a top idol in our eyes. and really, what are the chances we got kyo.. if he hasn't come out at all yet, why here, why now.. and usually it is two members, but this was just kyo. god.
on the way home, we even saw fireworks.. what a perfect way to end this night, as everyone said. i really thought this would be disapointing.. but... just the opposite... the first band for us of this fandom.. the one that got us into it.. is the first one we saw. complete cirlce, ne? ah.. i really feel like i will be changed forever. i'm only going to be pulled more and more and more into this direction. nothing is going to stop this. nothing can. not even you will stop my love for this. kyo really is a huge inspiration for me... one day, i want to sing like him also. and i will.
ah, now for some pictures~
my ticket
the flyers we got, plus 4 that we saved from the ground ._.
Ryoujoku no ame
It withers and withers
me post-concert, post-makeup, post-contact, post-face piercing blah blah, but with kyo hand<3
well.. i am fucking pooped.. emotionally and physically.. i must scurry off for now, but cheers to anyone who actually reads through this XD i will be surprised if you do. goodnight.. and so continues the lukewarm rain
down my face
i'm still in total fucking shock right now.
soooo, today was the dir en grey show. i was honestly pretty worried that it would just be lame, our seats would suck, we wouldn't be able to see, we wouldn't have meet and greet, and we would go home disappointed.
goddam was i wrong.
so, 8:00 i hear my phone alarm go off, and i wake up pretty instantly (sleeping with anticipation is extremely difficult) and everyone starts getting ready. i decided that i would just go around and help everyone else with anything before worrying about my own stuff right away, because if i'm all ready and running around to many different people, i'm going to just screw up everything i just did. so it took me until about an hour until we were supposed to leave until i actually started to get ready. make-up started off hella lame and i was getting totally discouraged, plus my hair was frizzed from the moisture so i was even more discouraged. but blah blah, i put in my contact and finished everything and felt alright, got my hair done and shizz and we were ready to leave. at one point we stopped and it started to rain, and at the time we were really close, so i was damn concerned it was going to be raining there. so we continue and the rain starts coming down harder. at first i start to feel really shitty, but then as were listening to withering, i'm getting really excited and i'm like, fuck it. this is dir en grey. i'll see them rain or shine. if my hair isn't perfect, who cares. then! i started to get extremely nervous.. my heart was beating all fast, and i could even feel tears, and we were still a half hour away. as we're getting closer, the weather is clearing up immensely. so we finally get there and i'm breathing so heavy. and at random korn shirt wearers, i shouted "korn sucks" out the moving car window XD well at least that way they can't catch me ^^; and we park and everyone is peeing themselves, quite literally XD nervous + actual need to pee = uh oh~
but then we panic...... OMG, WHAT IF THEY ARE PLAYING RIGHT NOW..... *nearly runs to entrance* me:*looks down* SHIT! i forgot to take my chains off ._. so i had to walk back to the car and stick them in the trunk. XD some random passer-by is like, "you look mad" and i'm like, i am. so yes, and we walk back and continue the near sprint to the entrance. we see many many people with the same shirt. we see one girl and Laino asks her if she knows what time dir en grey come on (we arrived at 2:00 which is when family values began) and she told us 5:00, so the near crap we had in our pants subsided ^^; so we got to where they check you, and there is a sign that says, "ask me how to meet the band" - we had heard that only select cities actually had the meet and greet, so we were sure we would not be one of them. so we go over to ask, and this lady is like, who do you want to meet? and we're like, can you meet dir en grey? and another guy is like yes, you have to buy a cd and get a wrist band, so all of are like, HOSHIT! so the line-up was 1) it withers and withers 05 tour dvd - $50 2) vulgar - $30 3) withering to death - $20. we're like, dayum.. we don't need/can't afford these things. we decide to think about it, and the guy gives us these cards with dir en grey one them. there is an add for ryoujoku no ame single, and i'm like, it's too bad they don't have this, and the guy is like they do inside, it's $18.. and we're lik O_O! can you meet them if you buy that one, and he's like yeah, so we're like ======> lets go!
we go over to the other tent thingy and here they also have vulgar[ism] and the clever sleazoid single. everyone bought the ryoujoku no ame single seeing as it is the newest thing out. clever sleazoid is great, but i'm pretty sure we all have that mp3 anyways. may as well buy something we don't have. since my mom was with me, and she wanted to meet them too, she bought the single for me, and as my birthday present, gave me extra to get the it withers and withers tour dvd, which they all autographed and i have constant paranoia that it's wiping off ^^;;; but yeah, so we all had a wristband to meet them and a cool new single. now we go to the main building to get out that previously mentioned pee. on the way over some random girl takes a picture of me and Laino XD poor Laino got stung in the parking lot, so we also stopped by first aid to get some little rub on crap, that apparently actually helped, so thumbs up to that b^^d and we proceed to find a spot on the lawn where we can properly enjoy the show~ at this time it was about 3:00 so we had about 2 hours to go. when we came down, deadsy was playing, so we're like :þ lame. then they play their one hit grammercy park or however the hell you spell it. then they play a rush song -0- nice. then bury your dead come out, and fucking mosh pit forms right next to us and a bunch of drunken retards nearly hit/actually hit us a few times. goddam that is one of the most hideous displays of hormone overload i've ever seen. fuckers~ after their dumbasses leave, 10 years or something come on. between those two sets there we found more dir en grey fans and we all moved closer. XD this one girl was like, "i want to hug you, you look like yuki" and i'm like O_o...who is yuki? and she is like "XD i don't know why i have yuki stuck in my head, i meant kyo" so i'm like O_O! me.....k-kyo....? noooooooo~ then this other emo kid hugs me too and says he likes my eye XDD so yes, 10 years is playing and we're waiting paitently for dir en grey. 10 years gets off and we're up instantly.
holy crap, so, they pull out shinya's drum set and everyone fucking screams, then this guys comes out after a while and is like, blahblah, "well, since everyone freaked out just when the drum set came out, i expect you to be louder when i mention their name, dir en grey is next!" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yes, we were louder this time ^^;; then their poster goes up and we're freaking out XD this is awesome, because every other band before this, no one screamed for these things. people walking by were giving the puzzled O_o face. i'm damn proud though that we were so loud. then we saw his red podium thing come out, that he stands on.. it's like o.o.... he is going to stand on that... so were waiting waiting waiting........................
G.D.S. starts playing...
O_O
wow... i really never expected them to play this.. i mean, yes, it has been their intro song lately.. but here, at this show with half hour sets.. holy shit it was awesome! we all threw our fist foward and shouted "kill" each time, and i saw many other people do it too. then we slowly see the band come out and everyone is damn loud now. all their little heads... ; 0 ;... we could see the blonde of kyo's head come out T^T i honestly don't remember the order of everything, the girls and i will probably try to work together to compile a set list, but for now i'll just try to list some of the ones they did~
G.D.S.
-unknown song-
saku
dead tree
Kodoku ni Shisu, Yueni Kodoku.
Itoshisa ha Fuhai Nitsuki
Ryoujoku no ame
GARBAGE
THE FINAL
Merciless Cult
THE IIID EMPIRE
well, mostly this is not the right order and i think i am forgetting some, but i'm just still so shocked that i can't even really believe i saw them. and i just realized they didn't play kodou ._____. that's ok though. anyways, the show was awesome, and i really do think kyo saw us, there were several times that he i feel like i was looking right at him and him back (not that i'm saying he was looking at me, but you know what i mean, when you can tell someone is looking in your direction) and there were a couple of times he sat on the ground facing away from us, and even kaoru is on our good list again ^_^ he was looking in our direction also and when we cheered he'd put his arms out.. it was really awesome. and in the final, kyo sung a note and held it forever! i was fucking impressed, i was out of breath just from watching, but yeah (damn i just started crying really hard) yeah and he like ripped his shirt off at some point too, and some stupid bitch yelled to take his pants off. bastard.
ah yeah, so that was amazing, and i wanted to say to everyone i was with too, i was happy to hear all of you sing along also. i knew you would, but it made me so happy that we finally all sang together, and even better, with kyo. i'm starting to think i should sleep, but i'll quickly finish up because i don't want to leave this unfinished.
after we did everything (bathroom, blah) we went to get in line. after a while people start to cheer and we start to move. of course our big question at this time is who, who? some girl runs over and says, "it's kyo!!" we're like.....................fuck no... he's never come out at any of these, we've only heard of shinya and kaoru........ then her friend is like, you're mean~ so we thought maybe she was just saying kyo cos thats who her friend would want to meet anyways, so we're like ._. then someone comes back again and says, "it is, it is!" and we didn't know what it was about, but we suspected that maybe... then two people come from that direction (where meet and greet is) and they look euphoric, we try to get their attention to see who it was, and after 4 times calling to them, someone says "ki-yo"..translation - kyo...........................no way. no fucking way..... so now, i'm realy fucking nervous. we get closer and i can see his goddam blonde again, and Laino and i drop our jaws and cling on to eachother, but it's too late, we're already there ; 0 ; .. in the car my mom was asking me what she could say, and just playfully talking with her, i teach her hajimemashite, however at that time, i didn't really think it would happen. so everyone goes first and my mom and i wait because the guard guy asked us to. then when they're out, he let us in, and my mom actually says hajimemashite -0- i was kinda hoping it would be kyo, or that we would just run into him, despite the odds, because i actually had something i wanted to say to him, though i highly doubted it would be him ~.~ so i walk up to him and give him my hand and he said thank you right away, and since everyone seemed to just go by so fast, i wanted to hurry up and say what i wanted so, so i said, "ano.. watashi no yume wa utau.. arigatou" (um.. it is my dream to sing.. thank you).. he seemed to smile and smile gently at that, but then i am afraid maybe i didn't say it right or he didn't understand.. but i think i would understand broken english, so i will just stay positive and believe he understands broken japanese. then we all stood watching him as he finished the greet. then as he left, everyone cheered, he lowered his glasses (i think he may have winked) and he smiled big... as i cheered, it became tears, and all of us cried hard and hugged.. it was the weirdest cry, it was sad and happy at the same time. fucking sad and fucking happy... now when i cry about this, i still don't know what it is, i'm not sure if it's becuase i don't believe it, i don't believe i met kyo, touched his hand, that they're gone now, that i really love them so much... i don't know.. it's such a mix.. this is the emotional burst i always expected i would get from the concert that truly fucking meant something to me. i thought the offspring would be the one, but when that was cancelled, i knew it wasn't meant to be. this, was so fucking meant to be. that dreaded rain that we worried about.. as we waiting in line to meet -unsuspectingly- kyo, we felt tiny drops.. however, it never started to rain until after we met him. not that that's a big deal, but we all got to at least feel decent about out appearances while meeting a top idol in our eyes. and really, what are the chances we got kyo.. if he hasn't come out at all yet, why here, why now.. and usually it is two members, but this was just kyo. god.
on the way home, we even saw fireworks.. what a perfect way to end this night, as everyone said. i really thought this would be disapointing.. but... just the opposite... the first band for us of this fandom.. the one that got us into it.. is the first one we saw. complete cirlce, ne? ah.. i really feel like i will be changed forever. i'm only going to be pulled more and more and more into this direction. nothing is going to stop this. nothing can. not even you will stop my love for this. kyo really is a huge inspiration for me... one day, i want to sing like him also. and i will.
ah, now for some pictures~
my ticket
the flyers we got, plus 4 that we saved from the ground ._.
Ryoujoku no ame
It withers and withers
me post-concert, post-makeup, post-contact, post-face piercing blah blah, but with kyo hand<3
well.. i am fucking pooped.. emotionally and physically.. i must scurry off for now, but cheers to anyone who actually reads through this XD i will be surprised if you do. goodnight.. and so continues the lukewarm rain
down my face