There's a new sheriff in town...
One thing mini-me’s don’t understand is that not too many people want to be bossed around.
So if you happen to be one of these insufferable ASSHOLES, please be forewarned…
Nobody gives a SHIT!
Marco the Weasel - this means you!
He comes in this morning whining about some damn windows. Now he’s got 50 other things he needs to do, but because he’s feeling insecure this morning or somebody cussed his sorry ass out, he brings his weasel-looking ass in here with a list of demands as if somebody gives a damn. Of course duhdum being who he is, actually sits there and listens to this prick.
Now mind you, weasel is a work crew foreman for the framers (pretty much at the bottom of the cesspool), so him thinking he can walk his ass into MY job trailer trying to dictate to our engineer what the fuck he needs, he’s got another think coming. Then he asks whether the sheriff is in (I decided to narrow my Texas two-gunslinger (Ken) to “sheriff” as in sheriffbingbingbingricochetrabbit).
Oh by the way, I told David his nickname. He got a big kick out of it. Scenario: Mail carrier (female) comes in to inquire about working on the jobsite (for someone she knows).
Taz perks up immediately.
“Tell the government I didn’t do it!”
Initially she’s perplexed, then realizes he’s ribbing her. She begins to ask him about how to get a job here. Now the 3 of us (Me, Taz, Manny) are drinking beer, so Taz feels a need to apologize for that and asks her not to report us, leaving her slightly flustered. Then he starts flirting, telling her how good she’d look in a hard hat and work boots. So I finally tell him to knock it off or I’m gonna tell his wife (actually, I was jealous as hell, dammit)! He finally gets around to answering her. Of course, me being me, I add my 2 cents, which clarifies the process for her cause that’s just how articulate I am. So there! Anyways, she asks him his name.
Taz turns to me and asks “What’s my name, darling?”
I pause, shake my head, then remember… “Taz!”
Manny (Taz’s sidekick) starts grinning.
Taz: “Hot damn! Now I like that better than the other one! That works for me!” (I’d told him after he got here my nicknames for olfartass and duhdum were pinky and the brain; he asked me then what did I name him. Back then I said, wily coyote, but after I thought about it, I changed my mind cause wily’s a loser. Taz is not and that’s a fact. Silly and corny as hell and a drunk to boot but he’s no loser, oh hell no! Taz spends about 3 to 4 seconds laughing his ass off.
What I find amazing is the fact that he knows all the cartoon characters without my having to describe them. It explains a lot.
Okay, anyway back to my original story about punk-ass mini-me’s believing they have some kind of authority. When duhdum tells him the sheriff is in Texas, weasel says that’s good. So I ask him, what? Are you bucking for construction manager or developer of this project? Cause it seems to me WE dictate to YOU when you will receive whatever shit we purchased and then WE tell YOU when you can fucking install it. Nobody gives a damn about your fucking schedule.
See, the reason he asked about the sheriff is because he knew Ken would have read his ass 12 ways from Sunday if he'd came in talking shit; then Sheriff would have told the weasel to kiss his ass, get the fuck out my trailer and go do some gotdamn work. The weasel has 2 earrings and thinks he’s a thug. So whenever Taz or the Sheriff goes back to Texas he comes in and tries to talk shit about them. He's dying to kick the Sheriff's ass. I got a hundred says the Sheriff will take him in 2 rounds.
The only one who listens to the weasel is duhdum. Well mrbigfoot doesn’t like them Texas boys either, so those losers sit around and try to talk about them. But it doesn’t matter cause whenever there’s a war of the words, the Texas gunslingers kick ass. And that’s just the way I like it! Now, who’d a thunk it. I gots no love for Texans, believe me you. But in comparison to these nitwit self-important pansies out here in LACA, I’ll take Houston over them any day of the week.
So if you happen to be one of these insufferable ASSHOLES, please be forewarned…
Nobody gives a SHIT!
Marco the Weasel - this means you!
He comes in this morning whining about some damn windows. Now he’s got 50 other things he needs to do, but because he’s feeling insecure this morning or somebody cussed his sorry ass out, he brings his weasel-looking ass in here with a list of demands as if somebody gives a damn. Of course duhdum being who he is, actually sits there and listens to this prick.
Now mind you, weasel is a work crew foreman for the framers (pretty much at the bottom of the cesspool), so him thinking he can walk his ass into MY job trailer trying to dictate to our engineer what the fuck he needs, he’s got another think coming. Then he asks whether the sheriff is in (I decided to narrow my Texas two-gunslinger (Ken) to “sheriff” as in sheriffbingbingbingricochetrabbit).
Oh by the way, I told David his nickname. He got a big kick out of it. Scenario: Mail carrier (female) comes in to inquire about working on the jobsite (for someone she knows).
Taz perks up immediately.
“Tell the government I didn’t do it!”
Initially she’s perplexed, then realizes he’s ribbing her. She begins to ask him about how to get a job here. Now the 3 of us (Me, Taz, Manny) are drinking beer, so Taz feels a need to apologize for that and asks her not to report us, leaving her slightly flustered. Then he starts flirting, telling her how good she’d look in a hard hat and work boots. So I finally tell him to knock it off or I’m gonna tell his wife (actually, I was jealous as hell, dammit)! He finally gets around to answering her. Of course, me being me, I add my 2 cents, which clarifies the process for her cause that’s just how articulate I am. So there! Anyways, she asks him his name.
Taz turns to me and asks “What’s my name, darling?”
I pause, shake my head, then remember… “Taz!”
Manny (Taz’s sidekick) starts grinning.
Taz: “Hot damn! Now I like that better than the other one! That works for me!” (I’d told him after he got here my nicknames for olfartass and duhdum were pinky and the brain; he asked me then what did I name him. Back then I said, wily coyote, but after I thought about it, I changed my mind cause wily’s a loser. Taz is not and that’s a fact. Silly and corny as hell and a drunk to boot but he’s no loser, oh hell no! Taz spends about 3 to 4 seconds laughing his ass off.
What I find amazing is the fact that he knows all the cartoon characters without my having to describe them. It explains a lot.
Okay, anyway back to my original story about punk-ass mini-me’s believing they have some kind of authority. When duhdum tells him the sheriff is in Texas, weasel says that’s good. So I ask him, what? Are you bucking for construction manager or developer of this project? Cause it seems to me WE dictate to YOU when you will receive whatever shit we purchased and then WE tell YOU when you can fucking install it. Nobody gives a damn about your fucking schedule.
See, the reason he asked about the sheriff is because he knew Ken would have read his ass 12 ways from Sunday if he'd came in talking shit; then Sheriff would have told the weasel to kiss his ass, get the fuck out my trailer and go do some gotdamn work. The weasel has 2 earrings and thinks he’s a thug. So whenever Taz or the Sheriff goes back to Texas he comes in and tries to talk shit about them. He's dying to kick the Sheriff's ass. I got a hundred says the Sheriff will take him in 2 rounds.
The only one who listens to the weasel is duhdum. Well mrbigfoot doesn’t like them Texas boys either, so those losers sit around and try to talk about them. But it doesn’t matter cause whenever there’s a war of the words, the Texas gunslingers kick ass. And that’s just the way I like it! Now, who’d a thunk it. I gots no love for Texans, believe me you. But in comparison to these nitwit self-important pansies out here in LACA, I’ll take Houston over them any day of the week.