Sherlock HOOOOOOLMES
Having just returned from the theater, I thought I would write down everything I could remember as it is still fresh in my memory.
Sherlock Holmes. An enigma. A clever, narcissistic ass bent on destroying your brain with the sheer power of his smoldering glares.
RDJ is brilliant. I forgot he was Ironman even though they played that trailer first. As though no one would notice. Scoff scoff.
John Watson. Jude Law. JUDE LAW'S SWEET 'STACHE. The entire reason I wanted to see this film. It actually HIDES the smirks. Or enhances them. It will melt your face while it convinces you in soothing baritone that this is not only enjoyable, but desired. ( NO I wasn't tripping balls. My delicate constitution would not have been able to handle the amounts of awesome portrayed in this movie.)
I really don't have much to say about this movie other than OMG GAAAIIIIIIISS I LOVE IIIIIT and that's not helpful. The story was fun, the dialogue was fun, the action made a Sherlock Holmes movie interesting for the first time since the dawn of man, and the not-exactly-subtle but enough to keep me going "hmmmmm" ambiguity of their TOTALLY GAY MAN ON MAN SEXINS was entertaining because there's no way that isn't entertaining. It was adorable. RDJ had Holmes actually pine after Watson. Watson actually wasn't a pussy. The amount of intellectual ass Holmes kicked (intellectually), Watson equaled in badassmotherfuckery. Stunning.
I can't decide if I want to fork over money to see Avatar. I'm hearing everyone rave about it, how it's an "experience" and you have to "live it" and "the bikini model ushers at the door to the theater were giving out free blowjobs", it was that awesome, but I'm not hearing anything about a story.
Let's back up and I'll try to explain some things first off. I don't care entirely for 3D. I've always associated 3D as a gimmick, used to back up weak storytelling/plot/characters/anything integral that makes up a good movie. There's been a wave of 3D features coming out, and yeah I get that this isn't so much the case anymore, but there's been more commentary on the effects in Avatar than the movie itself. Unless effects are the movie, and that's just upsetting.
Yes, Cameron utilized or invented or willed with his god-like mind (this is the man who gave the world Titanic...he can suck a cock) some cutting-edge technology debuting in Avatar. That also boasts 3D. The go-to technology of B-grade '50s sci-fi monstrosities. Whatever.
The point to all this is, I feel as though instead of actually being allowed to sit back and enjoy whatever it is underneath all the glitz that seemingly makes up Avatar, I'm being manipulated into just ooh-and-aahing all the pretty colors. That's what it is-it seems like everyone who's seen it is manipulated into praising it because of the mind-control technology behind every scene. (Where my conspiracy theory friends be?)
I don't need that.
PEOPLE WHO MAYBE ARE READING THIS THAT HAVE SEEN AVATAR---am I spot on or so far out in left field I may as well just fuck myself silly, I shouldn't make judgements without EXPERIENCING it first hand blah blah blah.
More importantly, is there a story? I just want a good story. I'm too intelligent to be distracted by shiny ob-JUDE LAW'S 'STACHE!!!!
Sherlock Holmes. An enigma. A clever, narcissistic ass bent on destroying your brain with the sheer power of his smoldering glares.
RDJ is brilliant. I forgot he was Ironman even though they played that trailer first. As though no one would notice. Scoff scoff.
John Watson. Jude Law. JUDE LAW'S SWEET 'STACHE. The entire reason I wanted to see this film. It actually HIDES the smirks. Or enhances them. It will melt your face while it convinces you in soothing baritone that this is not only enjoyable, but desired. ( NO I wasn't tripping balls. My delicate constitution would not have been able to handle the amounts of awesome portrayed in this movie.)
I really don't have much to say about this movie other than OMG GAAAIIIIIIISS I LOVE IIIIIT and that's not helpful. The story was fun, the dialogue was fun, the action made a Sherlock Holmes movie interesting for the first time since the dawn of man, and the not-exactly-subtle but enough to keep me going "hmmmmm" ambiguity of their TOTALLY GAY MAN ON MAN SEXINS was entertaining because there's no way that isn't entertaining. It was adorable. RDJ had Holmes actually pine after Watson. Watson actually wasn't a pussy. The amount of intellectual ass Holmes kicked (intellectually), Watson equaled in badassmotherfuckery. Stunning.
I can't decide if I want to fork over money to see Avatar. I'm hearing everyone rave about it, how it's an "experience" and you have to "live it" and "the bikini model ushers at the door to the theater were giving out free blowjobs", it was that awesome, but I'm not hearing anything about a story.
Let's back up and I'll try to explain some things first off. I don't care entirely for 3D. I've always associated 3D as a gimmick, used to back up weak storytelling/plot/characters/anything integral that makes up a good movie. There's been a wave of 3D features coming out, and yeah I get that this isn't so much the case anymore, but there's been more commentary on the effects in Avatar than the movie itself. Unless effects are the movie, and that's just upsetting.
Yes, Cameron utilized or invented or willed with his god-like mind (this is the man who gave the world Titanic...he can suck a cock) some cutting-edge technology debuting in Avatar. That also boasts 3D. The go-to technology of B-grade '50s sci-fi monstrosities. Whatever.
The point to all this is, I feel as though instead of actually being allowed to sit back and enjoy whatever it is underneath all the glitz that seemingly makes up Avatar, I'm being manipulated into just ooh-and-aahing all the pretty colors. That's what it is-it seems like everyone who's seen it is manipulated into praising it because of the mind-control technology behind every scene. (Where my conspiracy theory friends be?)
I don't need that.
PEOPLE WHO MAYBE ARE READING THIS THAT HAVE SEEN AVATAR---am I spot on or so far out in left field I may as well just fuck myself silly, I shouldn't make judgements without EXPERIENCING it first hand blah blah blah.
More importantly, is there a story? I just want a good story. I'm too intelligent to be distracted by shiny ob-JUDE LAW'S 'STACHE!!!!