Son of a bitch.
The so-called friend who chose her man over our friendship broke up with said man less than two weeks after the parting of our ways. I learned that two days ago. I spent the first day absorbing the shock. I spent today burning with righteous anger. That horrible old COW. I don't care why she left him or he left her. I don't care that it clearly had nothing to do with me, since I was no longer a factor. If anything I feel a sort of vindictive pride in knowing that, in the end, her relationship problems are still HER problems after all. It's not my fault, and I'm not the horrible creature she's made me out to be. All I care about is the fact that I was discarded for a reason that turned out to be no reason at all.
She can claim all day long that I just don't understand her - whatever helps her sleep at night. She can tell me that our dynamic as a duo is the real problem and always has been. I certainly can't argue with that, because it's true that the two of us can't ever seem to see eye to eye. But the fact is she never had the courage to talk to me about her issues with our dynamic until she had a couple of boys complain that they couldn't respect a woman who didn't stand up for herself against a friend who was making her unhappy. I never had the first inkling that I made her unhappy until she was wailing that she didn't want me to make her boyfriend go away. And it pisses me off that men are more important to her than friends.
And you know what else pisses me off? That she's started trying to reconnect now that she hasn't got her precious man in her life anymore. Like I'm some kind of convenience to be discarded and picked up again at will. I'm not some mildly interesting book to be read during a quiet moment; I'm a fucking human being, with feelings, and I deserve better than that!
So then I guess I had better thank the man, huh? I mean, if he hadn't decided that homegirl was a weenie who he couldn't date unless she confronted me, then I would probably still be blindly stumbling along in a friendship that made me so unhappy I didn't even know it was making me unhappy. And I would still think that I mattered to her as a beloved friend, and not just as her little bitch to be called upon whenever she was bored and needed some entertainment.
I may have been that girl before, but my eyes are open now. I won't be that girl again.
She can claim all day long that I just don't understand her - whatever helps her sleep at night. She can tell me that our dynamic as a duo is the real problem and always has been. I certainly can't argue with that, because it's true that the two of us can't ever seem to see eye to eye. But the fact is she never had the courage to talk to me about her issues with our dynamic until she had a couple of boys complain that they couldn't respect a woman who didn't stand up for herself against a friend who was making her unhappy. I never had the first inkling that I made her unhappy until she was wailing that she didn't want me to make her boyfriend go away. And it pisses me off that men are more important to her than friends.
And you know what else pisses me off? That she's started trying to reconnect now that she hasn't got her precious man in her life anymore. Like I'm some kind of convenience to be discarded and picked up again at will. I'm not some mildly interesting book to be read during a quiet moment; I'm a fucking human being, with feelings, and I deserve better than that!
So then I guess I had better thank the man, huh? I mean, if he hadn't decided that homegirl was a weenie who he couldn't date unless she confronted me, then I would probably still be blindly stumbling along in a friendship that made me so unhappy I didn't even know it was making me unhappy. And I would still think that I mattered to her as a beloved friend, and not just as her little bitch to be called upon whenever she was bored and needed some entertainment.
I may have been that girl before, but my eyes are open now. I won't be that girl again.