To survive

[ngpoet]

Everything is a distraction
To survive to the next moment
I'm not ok
Not even close to ok
I'm broken
I can barely breath
I still have multiple attacks daily
And I hate feeling so helpless
I hate that every night I weep from the depths of my soul
I hate that the only way I can sleep uninterrupted and without dreams of him is alcohol
Nothing makes me feel safe
But it has to be ok
Because this is my normal now