(no subject)
What
happened to good old Halloween? It seems that over the years since I
can remember, the spirit involved with this holiday has gone down the
tubes. It is now necessary to have a cop on just about every corner
making sure nothing is happening. The kids I saw tonight were all high
schoolers with the typical "I am king shit on turd island" attitude. I
watched them bomb a cop car and spout off many profanities toward the
cop in the car. I didn't see a single costume tonight either. All of
this is kind of bumming me out. Maybe it hasn't really changed and I am
just getting older in my mind. Am I too old to be enjoying this
spectacular holiday? *sigh* I don't know.
Tonight I also realised how many friends I really don't have. I mean, I guess I made my own bed here so that I why I am not really complaining too loudly about it. Some day I will learn to hold on to what I have rather than become afraid of my own feelings about things. Don't get me wrong here. I don't mind being single and alone at times. I just don't think it is healthy to be this way all of the time. I don't want to end up like the guy that lives across the hall from me. He is in his mid to late 40's, single still, and lonely. He keeps telling me not to end up like him. I just don't know how not to. Those of you that know me, know that I am not the best at starting or carrying conversations. I feel like an outsider anytime that I am around more than a few people. My words never come out how I mean them to, and my brain freezes to the point where I just hide in the corner and watch. That is just another thing I need to figure out how to mend.
"If you hold the handful of sand too tightly, it slips through your fingers. If you hold it loosly, it will sit there until you let it go."
"If you love it set it free, it will come back if it was meant to be."
"Don't put all of your heart into just one thing, put it into everything, you may just have to put it into something else someday."
"Don't take those you call friends for granted, it is the sure way to make them go away."
"Don't put too much stock into what you think you know, things are almost always different than what they seem."
"Go with your instincts and do what is good for yourself. Your instincts have been there with you all of you life, they seem to know you better than you do."
"If you fear something, embrace that fear and grow."
Tonight I also realised how many friends I really don't have. I mean, I guess I made my own bed here so that I why I am not really complaining too loudly about it. Some day I will learn to hold on to what I have rather than become afraid of my own feelings about things. Don't get me wrong here. I don't mind being single and alone at times. I just don't think it is healthy to be this way all of the time. I don't want to end up like the guy that lives across the hall from me. He is in his mid to late 40's, single still, and lonely. He keeps telling me not to end up like him. I just don't know how not to. Those of you that know me, know that I am not the best at starting or carrying conversations. I feel like an outsider anytime that I am around more than a few people. My words never come out how I mean them to, and my brain freezes to the point where I just hide in the corner and watch. That is just another thing I need to figure out how to mend.
"If you hold the handful of sand too tightly, it slips through your fingers. If you hold it loosly, it will sit there until you let it go."
"If you love it set it free, it will come back if it was meant to be."
"Don't put all of your heart into just one thing, put it into everything, you may just have to put it into something else someday."
"Don't take those you call friends for granted, it is the sure way to make them go away."
"Don't put too much stock into what you think you know, things are almost always different than what they seem."
"Go with your instincts and do what is good for yourself. Your instincts have been there with you all of you life, they seem to know you better than you do."
"If you fear something, embrace that fear and grow."