Waiting For Death To Take Me - Finale Post # 8
Alright, i'm almost through with this shit. Like only 5 more to go.
I've never felt so much doubt, confusion and worthlessness. I'm talking to my friend about it. I don't believe any of it.
Maybe my time is up. Maybe I experienced everything I was supposed to. Maybe hearts were broken like this on purpose, because if it is my time to go, then wouldn't he feel less pain now that we have grown so far apart? I still feel so attached, and yet, I have no idea what to say to him now. I can't tell him that I still dream of him, or that I still think about him night and day. I don't want to feel such rejection anymore.
I still think about moving away. It's like part of me wants to go, and the other half can't. It's like I have to be here for some reason, even though I have no idea what it could be. All my old reasons for staying are slowly slipping away. I mean, if you think about it, everything I once had is pretty much almost gone.
I lost the one person I ever truly cared for and now he barely even talks to me. He told me that I was a different person and the girl he fell in love with died. Well maybe I should move away and stop all this hurting once and for all.
You would all be better off without me.
So long, farewell.