Freezer's #NFL Week in Review - Week 12
Welcome to the Week in Review, currently in the running for at least three D-1 head coaching jobs.
Minnesota 30, Detroit 23
For all the teams out there lamenting the loss of one or more of their star players, here we have the Vikings. Missing their starting QB (who himself was a replacement), their star rookie RB (and his backup), and making up the bulk of their skill positions with fingers-crossed wannabes at receiver and career backups at RB (There’s a reason they drafted Dalvin Cook that high).
ANd yet, here they are, second in the NFC and looking every bit like the biggest threat to Philadelphia. Here they are, taking care of business week after week. Here they are with a journeyman QB that Houston didn’t want looking like a dark horse MVP candidate.
What excuse do the Dolphins and Cowboys of the world have when Minnesota (and Philly for that matter) can absorb their losses and still thrive?
And speaking of excuses: Oh, Detroit. What are gonna do with you? Different year, same mediocre results. At least Lions Fan got to drown their sorrows in turkey gravy, this week.
Sidenote: The Lions won the sudden Dwight Freeney sweepstakes after the Seahawks inexplicably cut him. Then couldn’t get him signed and in Detroit in time to make him active.
L.A. Chargers 28, Dallas 6
A Cowboys team missing key components on both sides of the ball spent the first half treading water, with the offense doing little and the defense keeping the opponent out of the end zone, but basically holding serve otherwise. The second half comes along and the wheels fall off. Not only does the defense (which has been getting NO pressure on the opposing QB) run out of gas and get steamrolled, and the offense, which has given nothing starts adding in turnovers. Result: A blowout loss.
Now: Am I talking about the Chargers game, the Philly game or the Atlanta game?
Answer: Yes.
The loss of Zeke Elliot and Sean Lee should not hurt THIS much. It just shouldn’t. Yes, Dallas got Tyron Smith back which should’ve helped, but it didn’t and was then negated by the loss of Zack Martin.
Dammit, this is the second straight game where Dallas’ opponent lost their kicker and still crushed them.
At this point: When you’ve lost three straight games the exact same way every time, you have to look at coaching. Which Trader Jerry won’t because that would mean admitting his hand-picked fair-haired Golden Boy was the wrong call and he stuck with him way too long. Barring a late turn around, they probably sacrifice Scott Linehan and possibly Rod Marinelli upon the Garrett Is A Good Coach altar. But that does nothing to help Dallas’ abysmal depth on defense and the long-neglected WR corps. That’s drafting and free agency. That’s the Joneses. And that would take a measure of humility and self-awareness that has been nowhere to be seen in the almost-three decades Jerry Jones has owned America’s Team. To be sure, Stephen Jones has improved the drafting by leaps and bounds. But he tends to be boom or bust in his picks and that has hurt team depth. And the Cowboys’ free agent signings and trades.. Name three in the last five years, without googling. And I’ll spot you Greg Hardy. Hell, I’m not even talking about the ones that worked.¹
TL;DR: When everything hits for the Cowboys, you get magical years like 2016 and 2014. When they don’t, you get every other year since 1995 besides those two. And until and unless Jerruh FINALLY wises up and hires football people to run the team², ‘Dallas Fan can only watch hopelessly as we watch the team get beat and wonder what might have been.
Not trying to take anything away from the surging Chargers with that. They put the boots to Dallas and won that game. They’ve won six of their last seven and look to be gaining momentum week by week. With the Chiefs fading (more on them in a bit), the Raiders Raidering and the Broncos cratering, the AFC West could be theirs for the taking.
And just to add some toppings to the Sundae of Ridiculousness: Jason Witten has had to deny the rumor that he was bucking for the head coaching spot at his alma mater, Tennessee.
N.Y. Giants 10, Washington 20
In the “Please Stop Trying To Make Washington on Thanksgiving Night A Thing” game, the Giants proved they used up all their “Rally ‘Round The Flag, Boys” power last week, losing to the equally-beaten-up-but-still-way-better Fucksnyders. This was a football equivalent to your aunt bringing dessert to dinner and trying to pass off her carrot pie as “just as good as pumpkin.”
It’s not, it never was, it never will be, stop trying to convince us otherwise.
Here, just swap “just as good as pumpkin” for “real football.” No matter how you dress it up, this was still a Thursday Night game. A combined 493 yards of offense, 6-29 third down conversion, and 134 yards of penalties, one team calls timeout to go for it on fourth down, gets a delay of game out of said time out and punts anyway Thursday Night game.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tampa Bay 20, Atlanta 34
Holy Shit, guys! Turns out if you keep throwing the ball to Julio Jones, he’ll actually catch the ball and do good things with it!
Jones racked up his third career 250+ yard game¹² - including a 50-yarder from Mohamed Sanu - to help the Falcons put down the increasingly hapless Bucs. The Falcons’ turnaround - 3 straight wins and 4 of their last 5 - is probably too late to catch the Saints or Panthers, especially with the Vikings sandwiched in there as well. But this is probably as close to a moral victory as an NFL team can glean.
Cleveland 16, Cincinnati 30
Deshone Kizer played his best game as a pro (268 yds, no turnovers, 86.3 QBR). It didn’t help at all.
Tennessee 20, Indianapolis 16
A game turning on a single play is an overused, rarely actually true trope in football. In this case, it’s hard to argue that the game didn’t turn 180° on Marlon Mack’s late-third quarter fumble. Not only did that turnover allow the Titans to immediately cut the deficit down to a field goal, but it seemed to kill the Colts’ offense for the rest of the game, gaining all of 36 yards in the fourth quarter and allowing the Titans to slog their way past for the win.
Tennessee currently sits atop the AFC South, via tiebreaker with Jacksonville. I don’t think there’s a team in either conference that doesn’t scream “One-And-Done” as loudly as the TItans.
Buffalo 16, Kansas CIty 10
Remember when the Chiefs were 5-0 and looking like lock for the AFC Championship game, at a minimum? Well, the Chiefs seem to have remembered who they are at heart, and it ain’t a 5-0 contender. Alex Smith has turned back into a check-down-shaped pumpkin. Coach Boyardee’s allergies to running the ball have resurfaced and together with Smith’s regression, has dropped anchor on what was the league’s most explosive offense.
An offense that was helping cover up KC’s defensive deficiencies. They’re hoping bringing in Revis Island will help with that. More on that in a bit.
They still lead the AFC West by a game, but with the Chargers surging, that may not last.
And if the Bills miss the playoffs by one game, Sean McDermott is getting thrown under the bus for what looked to me a 100% front office decision.
And while we’re here: Tall Glass of STFU to everyone still on the “Darrelle Revis is playing for nothing” take. Yes, he does not gain monetarily from signing with the Chiefs, thanks to offset language in his last Jets contract.¹ You know what he does gain? Another year added to his NFL experience, which adds to his pension and his veteran benefits. It also give teams a look at him in case he wants to keep playing in 2018.
Miami 17, New England 35
Dreamboat and the Patriots are cruising again. Fuck. My. Life.
And that the Dolphins have four wins seems more inexplicable by the week. They are on the same level as the Browns, Niners and Giants at this point. Hell, I’d take SF and NYG over Miami right now.
Carolina 35, N.Y. Jets 27
The Chargers East, once again, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. A Luke Kuechly fumble return and a Kaelin Clay punt return flipped the script from a two-point deficit to a 12-point lead. That was more than enough to let them hold off the J-E-T-S SAME-OLD-CRAP for the wins.
The Jets are pretty much who we thought they were, before they banked those early wins.
Chicago 3, Philadelphia 24
You know a team is rolling when scoring 24 points is considered an off day. Still good enough for a 3 TD win, though.
You also know a team is pretty much doomed when their leading rusher has 12 yards. And it’s the quarterback.
Seattle 24, San Francisco 13
I don’t know what kind of 3-D chess Younger Shanahanigans and John Lynch think they’re playing in the Bay, but if Jimmy Garoppolo isn’t the starter at Chicago this week, someone needs to get fired. Seriously, it won’t take much for Niner Nation to get on board with this team (Hell, they showed up for the Singletary and Tomsula years), and seeing Jimmy G start is a significant “something.” Unless they think the team around him is so bad he’s gonna get killed, so it’s safer to keep him out.
Wonder how C.J. Beathard feels about that risk assessment?
Blah blah blah Russell Wilson blah blah blah magician blah blah doing it all on his own as long as you don’t count Doug Baldwin and Jimmy Graham...
New Orleans 20, L.A. Rams 26
The “team Jeff Fisher warmed up the seat for” bounced back from their thumping in Minneapolis, by taking down the red hot Saints, holding Breesus to 96 yards through the first three quarters and Alvin Kamara to one second half carry.
Somehow, it feels like this win elevates the Rams and the Vikings.
Jacksonville 24, Arizona 27
It’s the Blaine Gabbert/Calais Campbell Revenge Game!
That’s what the narrative coming in was. The result was the “Bortles Gonna Bortle” game. Bortles took what should’ve been a back-breaking Gabbert interception and gave it right back to the Honey Badger, seemingly bringing JAX’s momentum to a halt and ultimately setting up Phil Dawson’s last-second game winning field goal.
Such is life when your fortunes depend on the play of Blake Bortles. (And you’re getting jack shit from your running game.)
Denver 14, Oakland 21
The narrative of this game should’ve been Paxton Lynch looking horrible (again) before leaving the game with an injury (again).
But instead it was Crabtree/Talib: Snatch Yo’ Chain II. (Spoiler: The climax is two-game suspensions for Talib and Crabtree).
Back to Lynch: Memphis radio host-turned Ringer host-turned Memphis Grizzlies media personality Chris Vernon has pretty much been saying “I told you so” on Lynch. He’s said since Draft Day last year that Lynch was “a different sort” who may not have the mental fortitude for the NFL and would need a team who could be patient with him or could get through to him.
That team is not headed by John Elway.
If Lynch does flame out, he won’t be the first or the last to be unable to handle the league’s mental game. And that’s on top of the rather dire track record of QBs who are 6’6” or taller. Maybe an Andy Reid-type could get to Lynch and get him right. I know he probably won’t reach those heights in Denver (pun not intended).
Green Bay 28, Pittsburgh 31
Maybe the NFL knows what it’s doing after all.
THe NFL stuck to its’ guns and didn’t flex this game out for Rams/Saints. Their faith was rewarded with a back-and-forth affair that showcased Brett Hundley playing his best game as a pro (245 yds, 3 TDs, no INTs) and dueled Rapelisberger down to the wire. The Steelers’ Killer Bs (Big Ben, Bell and Brown) once again carried the load offensively. They were helped along by Mike McCarthy’s baffling decision to have Mason Crosby try a 57-yard third quarter field goal. The Pack was up 21-14 at the time and Heinz Field is the most notoriously difficult stadium to kick in. Crosby’s attempt wasn’t even close and the Steelers used the shorter field to hit the first of two Antonio Brown TD catches.
Pittsburgh might have scored anyway after a punt... But those extra seconds they would’ve used in the process sure would’ve helped the Packers’ cause.
Houston 16, Baltimore 23
IF you simply went by Jon Gruden’s commentary, this was the Texans vs. Terrell Suggs.
If you actually watched the game... That wasn’t much wrong, as Suggs led a strong defensive effort as the Ravens slogged their way to a seven-point win. Tom Savage and the Texans kept pace with the Ravens throughout, but a lack of touchdowns (4 red zone drives: 1 TD, 3 FGs) and three turnovers proved to be the difference.
The Ravens, at 6-5, have the second wildcard spot, via tiebreakers with Buffalo. A Ravens/Titans wild card game might set records for bad ratings.
Minnesota 30, Detroit 23
For all the teams out there lamenting the loss of one or more of their star players, here we have the Vikings. Missing their starting QB (who himself was a replacement), their star rookie RB (and his backup), and making up the bulk of their skill positions with fingers-crossed wannabes at receiver and career backups at RB (There’s a reason they drafted Dalvin Cook that high).
ANd yet, here they are, second in the NFC and looking every bit like the biggest threat to Philadelphia. Here they are, taking care of business week after week. Here they are with a journeyman QB that Houston didn’t want looking like a dark horse MVP candidate.
What excuse do the Dolphins and Cowboys of the world have when Minnesota (and Philly for that matter) can absorb their losses and still thrive?
And speaking of excuses: Oh, Detroit. What are gonna do with you? Different year, same mediocre results. At least Lions Fan got to drown their sorrows in turkey gravy, this week.
Sidenote: The Lions won the sudden Dwight Freeney sweepstakes after the Seahawks inexplicably cut him. Then couldn’t get him signed and in Detroit in time to make him active.
L.A. Chargers 28, Dallas 6
A Cowboys team missing key components on both sides of the ball spent the first half treading water, with the offense doing little and the defense keeping the opponent out of the end zone, but basically holding serve otherwise. The second half comes along and the wheels fall off. Not only does the defense (which has been getting NO pressure on the opposing QB) run out of gas and get steamrolled, and the offense, which has given nothing starts adding in turnovers. Result: A blowout loss.
Now: Am I talking about the Chargers game, the Philly game or the Atlanta game?
Answer: Yes.
The loss of Zeke Elliot and Sean Lee should not hurt THIS much. It just shouldn’t. Yes, Dallas got Tyron Smith back which should’ve helped, but it didn’t and was then negated by the loss of Zack Martin.
Dammit, this is the second straight game where Dallas’ opponent lost their kicker and still crushed them.
At this point: When you’ve lost three straight games the exact same way every time, you have to look at coaching. Which Trader Jerry won’t because that would mean admitting his hand-picked fair-haired Golden Boy was the wrong call and he stuck with him way too long. Barring a late turn around, they probably sacrifice Scott Linehan and possibly Rod Marinelli upon the Garrett Is A Good Coach altar. But that does nothing to help Dallas’ abysmal depth on defense and the long-neglected WR corps. That’s drafting and free agency. That’s the Joneses. And that would take a measure of humility and self-awareness that has been nowhere to be seen in the almost-three decades Jerry Jones has owned America’s Team. To be sure, Stephen Jones has improved the drafting by leaps and bounds. But he tends to be boom or bust in his picks and that has hurt team depth. And the Cowboys’ free agent signings and trades.. Name three in the last five years, without googling. And I’ll spot you Greg Hardy. Hell, I’m not even talking about the ones that worked.¹
TL;DR: When everything hits for the Cowboys, you get magical years like 2016 and 2014. When they don’t, you get every other year since 1995 besides those two. And until and unless Jerruh FINALLY wises up and hires football people to run the team², ‘Dallas Fan can only watch hopelessly as we watch the team get beat and wonder what might have been.
Not trying to take anything away from the surging Chargers with that. They put the boots to Dallas and won that game. They’ve won six of their last seven and look to be gaining momentum week by week. With the Chiefs fading (more on them in a bit), the Raiders Raidering and the Broncos cratering, the AFC West could be theirs for the taking.
And just to add some toppings to the Sundae of Ridiculousness: Jason Witten has had to deny the rumor that he was bucking for the head coaching spot at his alma mater, Tennessee.
The list of free agent signings and trades that worked: Alfred Morris, Rolando MccLain, Darren McFadden. #ThatsTheList
Something Jones’ idol, Al Davis, never did. Think about that.
N.Y. Giants 10, Washington 20
In the “Please Stop Trying To Make Washington on Thanksgiving Night A Thing” game, the Giants proved they used up all their “Rally ‘Round The Flag, Boys” power last week, losing to the equally-beaten-up-but-still-way-better Fucksnyders. This was a football equivalent to your aunt bringing dessert to dinner and trying to pass off her carrot pie as “just as good as pumpkin.”
It’s not, it never was, it never will be, stop trying to convince us otherwise.
Here, just swap “just as good as pumpkin” for “real football.” No matter how you dress it up, this was still a Thursday Night game. A combined 493 yards of offense, 6-29 third down conversion, and 134 yards of penalties, one team calls timeout to go for it on fourth down, gets a delay of game out of said time out and punts anyway Thursday Night game.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tampa Bay 20, Atlanta 34
Holy Shit, guys! Turns out if you keep throwing the ball to Julio Jones, he’ll actually catch the ball and do good things with it!
Jones racked up his third career 250+ yard game¹² - including a 50-yarder from Mohamed Sanu - to help the Falcons put down the increasingly hapless Bucs. The Falcons’ turnaround - 3 straight wins and 4 of their last 5 - is probably too late to catch the Saints or Panthers, especially with the Vikings sandwiched in there as well. But this is probably as close to a moral victory as an NFL team can glean.
No other receiver has more than one.
And tacked on a 15-yard end around for good measure.
Cleveland 16, Cincinnati 30
Deshone Kizer played his best game as a pro (268 yds, no turnovers, 86.3 QBR). It didn’t help at all.
Tennessee 20, Indianapolis 16
A game turning on a single play is an overused, rarely actually true trope in football. In this case, it’s hard to argue that the game didn’t turn 180° on Marlon Mack’s late-third quarter fumble. Not only did that turnover allow the Titans to immediately cut the deficit down to a field goal, but it seemed to kill the Colts’ offense for the rest of the game, gaining all of 36 yards in the fourth quarter and allowing the Titans to slog their way past for the win.
Tennessee currently sits atop the AFC South, via tiebreaker with Jacksonville. I don’t think there’s a team in either conference that doesn’t scream “One-And-Done” as loudly as the TItans.
Buffalo 16, Kansas CIty 10
Remember when the Chiefs were 5-0 and looking like lock for the AFC Championship game, at a minimum? Well, the Chiefs seem to have remembered who they are at heart, and it ain’t a 5-0 contender. Alex Smith has turned back into a check-down-shaped pumpkin. Coach Boyardee’s allergies to running the ball have resurfaced and together with Smith’s regression, has dropped anchor on what was the league’s most explosive offense.
An offense that was helping cover up KC’s defensive deficiencies. They’re hoping bringing in Revis Island will help with that. More on that in a bit.
They still lead the AFC West by a game, but with the Chargers surging, that may not last.
And if the Bills miss the playoffs by one game, Sean McDermott is getting thrown under the bus for what looked to me a 100% front office decision.
And while we’re here: Tall Glass of STFU to everyone still on the “Darrelle Revis is playing for nothing” take. Yes, he does not gain monetarily from signing with the Chiefs, thanks to offset language in his last Jets contract.¹ You know what he does gain? Another year added to his NFL experience, which adds to his pension and his veteran benefits. It also give teams a look at him in case he wants to keep playing in 2018.
Basically, every dollar he earns from the Chiefs is a dollar the Jets don’t have to pay on the remaining time on his contract. TL;DR; no immediate financial gain for playing this year.
Miami 17, New England 35
Dreamboat and the Patriots are cruising again. Fuck. My. Life.
And that the Dolphins have four wins seems more inexplicable by the week. They are on the same level as the Browns, Niners and Giants at this point. Hell, I’d take SF and NYG over Miami right now.
Carolina 35, N.Y. Jets 27
The Chargers East, once again, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. A Luke Kuechly fumble return and a Kaelin Clay punt return flipped the script from a two-point deficit to a 12-point lead. That was more than enough to let them hold off the J-E-T-S SAME-OLD-CRAP for the wins.
The Jets are pretty much who we thought they were, before they banked those early wins.
Chicago 3, Philadelphia 24
You know a team is rolling when scoring 24 points is considered an off day. Still good enough for a 3 TD win, though.
You also know a team is pretty much doomed when their leading rusher has 12 yards. And it’s the quarterback.
Seattle 24, San Francisco 13
I don’t know what kind of 3-D chess Younger Shanahanigans and John Lynch think they’re playing in the Bay, but if Jimmy Garoppolo isn’t the starter at Chicago this week, someone needs to get fired. Seriously, it won’t take much for Niner Nation to get on board with this team (Hell, they showed up for the Singletary and Tomsula years), and seeing Jimmy G start is a significant “something.” Unless they think the team around him is so bad he’s gonna get killed, so it’s safer to keep him out.
Wonder how C.J. Beathard feels about that risk assessment?
Blah blah blah Russell Wilson blah blah blah magician blah blah doing it all on his own as long as you don’t count Doug Baldwin and Jimmy Graham...
New Orleans 20, L.A. Rams 26
The “team Jeff Fisher warmed up the seat for” bounced back from their thumping in Minneapolis, by taking down the red hot Saints, holding Breesus to 96 yards through the first three quarters and Alvin Kamara to one second half carry.
Somehow, it feels like this win elevates the Rams and the Vikings.
Jacksonville 24, Arizona 27
It’s the Blaine Gabbert/Calais Campbell Revenge Game!
That’s what the narrative coming in was. The result was the “Bortles Gonna Bortle” game. Bortles took what should’ve been a back-breaking Gabbert interception and gave it right back to the Honey Badger, seemingly bringing JAX’s momentum to a halt and ultimately setting up Phil Dawson’s last-second game winning field goal.
Such is life when your fortunes depend on the play of Blake Bortles. (And you’re getting jack shit from your running game.)
Denver 14, Oakland 21
The narrative of this game should’ve been Paxton Lynch looking horrible (again) before leaving the game with an injury (again).
But instead it was Crabtree/Talib: Snatch Yo’ Chain II. (Spoiler: The climax is two-game suspensions for Talib and Crabtree).
Back to Lynch: Memphis radio host-turned Ringer host-turned Memphis Grizzlies media personality Chris Vernon has pretty much been saying “I told you so” on Lynch. He’s said since Draft Day last year that Lynch was “a different sort” who may not have the mental fortitude for the NFL and would need a team who could be patient with him or could get through to him.
That team is not headed by John Elway.
If Lynch does flame out, he won’t be the first or the last to be unable to handle the league’s mental game. And that’s on top of the rather dire track record of QBs who are 6’6” or taller. Maybe an Andy Reid-type could get to Lynch and get him right. I know he probably won’t reach those heights in Denver (pun not intended).
Green Bay 28, Pittsburgh 31
Maybe the NFL knows what it’s doing after all.
THe NFL stuck to its’ guns and didn’t flex this game out for Rams/Saints. Their faith was rewarded with a back-and-forth affair that showcased Brett Hundley playing his best game as a pro (245 yds, 3 TDs, no INTs) and dueled Rapelisberger down to the wire. The Steelers’ Killer Bs (Big Ben, Bell and Brown) once again carried the load offensively. They were helped along by Mike McCarthy’s baffling decision to have Mason Crosby try a 57-yard third quarter field goal. The Pack was up 21-14 at the time and Heinz Field is the most notoriously difficult stadium to kick in. Crosby’s attempt wasn’t even close and the Steelers used the shorter field to hit the first of two Antonio Brown TD catches.
Pittsburgh might have scored anyway after a punt... But those extra seconds they would’ve used in the process sure would’ve helped the Packers’ cause.
Houston 16, Baltimore 23
IF you simply went by Jon Gruden’s commentary, this was the Texans vs. Terrell Suggs.
If you actually watched the game... That wasn’t much wrong, as Suggs led a strong defensive effort as the Ravens slogged their way to a seven-point win. Tom Savage and the Texans kept pace with the Ravens throughout, but a lack of touchdowns (4 red zone drives: 1 TD, 3 FGs) and three turnovers proved to be the difference.
The Ravens, at 6-5, have the second wildcard spot, via tiebreakers with Buffalo. A Ravens/Titans wild card game might set records for bad ratings.