(no subject)
So I was in Chapters today and looking for a book to give to my nephew for his birthday. I stumbled across “I know an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly.” I don’t know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she’ll die.
I remember having fond memories of this book. It was absurd and cute. This version also had illustrations which added to humour. Strange how an animal lover like myself seemed to enjoy a book all about a gluttonous spinster munching out on her pets.
But one thing bothered me about this new reprint.
I know an old lady who swallowed a cow,
Don’t ask how she swallowed a cow,
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she’ll die.
(keep in mind “perhaps she’ll die has been repeated after ever page and animal she drives down her)
Last Page
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse
She was full of course.
…
What? Was Stephen Spielberg attached to this “remake?”
The original was “she died of course” but apparently that’s too risky for the kiddies these days. I guess it’s ok to allude to her death every single page, and feature the word “swallowed” more than any erotic fiction I’ve ever read, but you can’t let this hungry bitch get her just desserts (I’m so Punny!) at the end of the book? She eats her beloved pets and the neighbours livestock and just lays back and rubs her tummy. This is a better message to send to the kiddies? Gorge yourself? Don’t these children’s stories have some kind of moral teaching at the end? Are you kidding me?
In other news I don’t have a lot going on for me these days, so I’m finding myself getting annoyed by children’s literature and writing angry semi-diatribes about it. Wonder if there’s something more productive I can be doing with my time and energy. Wrath of the Lich King did come out last winter…
I remember having fond memories of this book. It was absurd and cute. This version also had illustrations which added to humour. Strange how an animal lover like myself seemed to enjoy a book all about a gluttonous spinster munching out on her pets.
But one thing bothered me about this new reprint.
I know an old lady who swallowed a cow,
Don’t ask how she swallowed a cow,
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she’ll die.
(keep in mind “perhaps she’ll die has been repeated after ever page and animal she drives down her)
Last Page
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse
She was full of course.
…
What? Was Stephen Spielberg attached to this “remake?”
The original was “she died of course” but apparently that’s too risky for the kiddies these days. I guess it’s ok to allude to her death every single page, and feature the word “swallowed” more than any erotic fiction I’ve ever read, but you can’t let this hungry bitch get her just desserts (I’m so Punny!) at the end of the book? She eats her beloved pets and the neighbours livestock and just lays back and rubs her tummy. This is a better message to send to the kiddies? Gorge yourself? Don’t these children’s stories have some kind of moral teaching at the end? Are you kidding me?
In other news I don’t have a lot going on for me these days, so I’m finding myself getting annoyed by children’s literature and writing angry semi-diatribes about it. Wonder if there’s something more productive I can be doing with my time and energy. Wrath of the Lich King did come out last winter…