Dec 02, 2003 23:47
No one will read all of this! (Props to Bran. Pussy)
I believe that the true animal qualities in human beings show through their greatest in three things:
1. Sex and eating (same thing)
2. Hunting/Killing
3. Christmas shopping
Oh, and I guess when people dress up and act like animal. Those people are either insane or horribly aching for money. Or are in the play "Cats"...which means they are both insane and horribly aching for money.
Anyways, if you have ever worked retail in the Christmas season, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Firstly, to the adults who read my Xanga (of which there are none):
So you probably have kids at this point in your life. I’m sure your children have toys, and they probably bounce around from toy to toy all day long, leaving a trail of them about your house. I am also quite sure that you give them a stern talking to every day to clean up after themselves. Well, why then do you insist on coming into a store and wreaking havoc upon the inventory and leaving what you don’t feel like purchasing anymore in the furthest spot from where it is supposed to be? Can’t you take your own God damned advice and clean the fuck up after yourself.
Second, who the fuck puts a leash on their child? No, fucking for serious what the hell are you thinking? "Ok, I need to go shopping, and I absolutely have to bring my child with me. How do I keep them in order? Ah ha! I’ll fucking wrap a leash around their neck. Hell if it works for the dog, it will work for the kids." You are a fucking idiot. You do not deserve to be a parent. I remember back in the wonderful, glorious 80's when my parents wanted to keep my close, they either:
A. Held my hand
B. Attached me via velcro on the wrist with one of those delightful cord devices that flexed and gave me space to run and frolic. (Ok, it’s still kind of bad, but it is definitely no fucking leash. Also they came in hot neon colors! These matched my fanny pack and my neon green baseball cap and short-shorts.)
C. Acted like parents and watched me!
Third, when something says "for sale" on a tag in front, or in its vicinity, it is on sale. If there is no tag, or poster, or sign, it is not on sale. Can we grasp this concept?
Fourth, I am an English major in college. I write and read. These are the things I know. I am not your personal slave who, at your beckoning call, will work for you until loss of consciousness or death. This is my part time job, I would much rather be out spending money on useless garbage for the holiday season. Unlike you I can not drive the SUV your husband (or wife!) bought for you and spend the money they toil for in between your soap operas (or sports center!).
I’m sorry that last paragraph was so horribly stereotyped.
That makes for a nice transition into my next (and final - Thank God!) point. On a Christmas card tod ay I saw many faces of Santa, all in different guises. There was Starbucks Santa (shaking from too much caffeine, obviously), Ally Mcbeal Santa (I didn’t understand this one, surely exploiting pop culture), and Trailer Trash Santa (complete with trucker hat and missing teeth). Since when did it become alright to stereo type so called "trailer trash"? I’m not sure about you, but I thought the idea behind stopping stereo-typing was to make everyone equal? This isn’t the only place I have seen this. On TV, in video games, so called "red necks" are ridiculed. I personally do not live in trailer park, and I hardly believe I fall into the category of "trailer trash". Now, everyone is stereo-typed here and there, I will admit. But this stereo-type, as well as a few others (Native Americans, Eskimos, French {With their "Artists Hats" - Hahaha! Brandon}) I think if you are going to try and be PC, please try and be that way with everyone.
I don’t consider myself politically correct anyways, so I guess it really doesn’t shit me one way or another.
I say obviously too much.
"Hey man! I wanna start a fight with you!!!"