you caught me off guard.. again.
this weekend was one of those eye-openers you get every so often, the ones that make you contemplate for hours as if it was a novel in English class, filled with hidden signs. I'm focusing on what was said, what wasn't said, what comments I ignored that should have been answered, and where it's going to take me. It's like when I realized the reason I find so much comfort on the right side of the bed is due to countless nights running to my parents room after nightmares only to sleep on the abandoned side my dad left when he was on business. it's the times i get superstitious only to realize nothing went wrong due to the odd number, cracks, etc.
It was all the silly things - ordering chinese to eat in bed watching tv, going to the arcade on the beach to just win endless amounts of tickets over silly competitions. It's waking up to joke in bed & forget about the outside world. I'm sick of being complicated and stubborn, even with myself. I'm letting my guard down i'm pretty sure i'm extremely high maintenance when I pretend not to be. I'm sorry for that. It's the best feeling to know when I'm with you, everything pans out better than I could imagine. It's like waking up to you in dark hours coming back to bed, pretending to sleep when I catch you kissing me on the forehead before closing your eyes again. I don't want it to end and that's why i'm scared to let anything really begin. But i can't keep pushing that unknown away, because if it never comes, I'd be so let down. The trouble is even with fairy tales, they have to end, and i never want to feel that things are ending with you.
It was all the silly things - ordering chinese to eat in bed watching tv, going to the arcade on the beach to just win endless amounts of tickets over silly competitions. It's waking up to joke in bed & forget about the outside world. I'm sick of being complicated and stubborn, even with myself. I'm letting my guard down i'm pretty sure i'm extremely high maintenance when I pretend not to be. I'm sorry for that. It's the best feeling to know when I'm with you, everything pans out better than I could imagine. It's like waking up to you in dark hours coming back to bed, pretending to sleep when I catch you kissing me on the forehead before closing your eyes again. I don't want it to end and that's why i'm scared to let anything really begin. But i can't keep pushing that unknown away, because if it never comes, I'd be so let down. The trouble is even with fairy tales, they have to end, and i never want to feel that things are ending with you.