Whining
The purpose of this post is to whine here so I don't whine in person and annoy everyone. I am still having an awesome time here in Utahland, but I've definitely reached the point in being sick where I'm tired of it. I'm tired of wheezing, I'm tired of sore throats, I'm tired of earaches, I'm tired of not being able to breathe through my nose, and I'm tired of being tired. It's sapping the enthusiasm right out of me.
And everyone here has been so good to me, and tolerant of it all. I mean, I know they're good people, and that I can't exactly help being sick, and if I had a sick friend visiting I'd be understanding and kind to them, so it's utterly hypocritical to be so untrusting that my friends would do the same for me, but there you have me in a nutshell: I'll forgive my friends anything, but I don't trust that anyone is going to do the same for me.
I think that gets in my way, too. It creates a barrier, because there's a trust breach, where I never fully trust anyone. You know those trust training exercises where you have a blindfolded person fall backwards into the waiting arms of friends? As the catcher I would never let the falling person hit the floor, but as the falling person I'd never believe that I wasn't about to crack my skull on concrete.
Anyway, um... Thank you for your patience with me, kilerkki, pheonix_melody, beloved_baka, and rurounigochan. I know I'm mostly just whining here.
And everyone here has been so good to me, and tolerant of it all. I mean, I know they're good people, and that I can't exactly help being sick, and if I had a sick friend visiting I'd be understanding and kind to them, so it's utterly hypocritical to be so untrusting that my friends would do the same for me, but there you have me in a nutshell: I'll forgive my friends anything, but I don't trust that anyone is going to do the same for me.
I think that gets in my way, too. It creates a barrier, because there's a trust breach, where I never fully trust anyone. You know those trust training exercises where you have a blindfolded person fall backwards into the waiting arms of friends? As the catcher I would never let the falling person hit the floor, but as the falling person I'd never believe that I wasn't about to crack my skull on concrete.
Anyway, um... Thank you for your patience with me, kilerkki, pheonix_melody, beloved_baka, and rurounigochan. I know I'm mostly just whining here.