Bad
I have a lot of faults. I'm short tempered, too sensitive, easily hurt, impatient, undisciplined, self-centered, and prone to mood swings, among other things which I hope you will be too kind to mention. I think I could probably live with myself and my litany of imperfections, though, if I could just never make any mistakes.
Or if I could be rock-skinned and imperturbable when I do screw up, able to hold my head up and say look, I'm sorry about the decision I made/the course of action I took/the thing I said. I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. If I'd known differently, I'd have done differently, but what's done is done.
I can't.
I'm not like that.
And I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of having my heart yanked out of my chest by my own insecurities every time something goes wrong between me and a friend. If I had any idea how to do it I'd be someone else. Someone meaner. Someone who judges others instead of himself and expects others to forgive him when he does screw up.
It'd be easier. I'd be happier.
I'd probably be a bastard, but at least I wouldn't care.
But I'm not that guy. I'm me. I guess that kind of sucks sometimes.
Or if I could be rock-skinned and imperturbable when I do screw up, able to hold my head up and say look, I'm sorry about the decision I made/the course of action I took/the thing I said. I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. If I'd known differently, I'd have done differently, but what's done is done.
I can't.
I'm not like that.
And I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of having my heart yanked out of my chest by my own insecurities every time something goes wrong between me and a friend. If I had any idea how to do it I'd be someone else. Someone meaner. Someone who judges others instead of himself and expects others to forgive him when he does screw up.
It'd be easier. I'd be happier.
I'd probably be a bastard, but at least I wouldn't care.
But I'm not that guy. I'm me. I guess that kind of sucks sometimes.