Side Effects May Include Total Fuckery
I figured out that my new allergy medicine might be the cause of my problems. Not all my problems, most assuredly, but the cause of the most painful problems of last three weeks. It all started about a week after I started taking Singulair again (and this is the weird part, I took Singulair several years ago with no side effects, although as messypeaches pointed out, I had ovaries then, so maybe that made a difference.)
What problems, you ask?
The soul-crushing despair I haven't been writing about. The grief that feels like a lead wrecking ball under my sternum laying waste to my heart. The depression that's sapped my will to do much of anything, that's led me to fear driving down the coast highway where the vista of the ocean beckons just beyond the guardrail.
I could tell how unconnected this melancholy was from anything in my life, and it baffled me. For seemingly no reason at all, the floor had dropped out from under me, and left me too sad to even cry. And since I knew it came from nothing, it pissed me off because hell, how stupid is that, really?
And then I chanced to look at the little paper insert of information for physicians and prescribers that's helpfully included in my packets of Singulair tablets. There in the section on Warnings and Precautions, was this:
5.4 Neuropsychiatric Events
Neuropsychiatric events have been reported in adult, adolescent, and pediatric patients taking SINGULAIR. Post-marketing reports with SINGULAIR use include agitation, aggressive behavior or hostility, anxiousness, depression, disorientation, dream abnormalities, hallucinations, insomnia, irritability, restlessness, somnambulism, suicidal thinking and behavior (including suicide), and tremor. The clinical details of some post-marketing reports involving SINGULAIR appear consistent with a drug- induced effect.
Patients and prescribers should be alert for neuropsychiatric events. Patients should be instructed to notify their prescriber if these changes occur. Prescribers should carefully evaluate the risks and benefits of continuing treatment with SINGULAIR if such events occur. [emphasis mine]
That's messed up. Also sort of comforting, if there's a rational explanation for my gloom. So I tried an experiment: stopped taking the drug for a few days. My mood lifted. That's no proof. So I started taking the drug again, and for two days everything was okay, and then on the third day gloom and lethargy descended once again. Also an improved ability to breathe.
I'm thinking that on the whole, despite the fact that it is really quite enjoyable to be able to breathe and not wheeze, if I'm too depressed to take any actual pleasure in the free flow of air in my lungs and sinuses, it's just not worth it. I'd rather be cheerful and congested than breathing easy and contemplating driving off the road as I hurtle down Highway One.
Now I know, it's still not proof. Correlation is not causation, and it's entirely possible my mood swings have some other cause, but it certainly seems like it's worth trying dumping the drug again and seeing if my spirits stabilize. Cause this? This seriously sucks. Now I just have to wait for the stuff to get out of my system again, and avoid sad movies until it's gone.
What problems, you ask?
The soul-crushing despair I haven't been writing about. The grief that feels like a lead wrecking ball under my sternum laying waste to my heart. The depression that's sapped my will to do much of anything, that's led me to fear driving down the coast highway where the vista of the ocean beckons just beyond the guardrail.
I could tell how unconnected this melancholy was from anything in my life, and it baffled me. For seemingly no reason at all, the floor had dropped out from under me, and left me too sad to even cry. And since I knew it came from nothing, it pissed me off because hell, how stupid is that, really?
And then I chanced to look at the little paper insert of information for physicians and prescribers that's helpfully included in my packets of Singulair tablets. There in the section on Warnings and Precautions, was this:
5.4 Neuropsychiatric Events
Neuropsychiatric events have been reported in adult, adolescent, and pediatric patients taking SINGULAIR. Post-marketing reports with SINGULAIR use include agitation, aggressive behavior or hostility, anxiousness, depression, disorientation, dream abnormalities, hallucinations, insomnia, irritability, restlessness, somnambulism, suicidal thinking and behavior (including suicide), and tremor. The clinical details of some post-marketing reports involving SINGULAIR appear consistent with a drug- induced effect.
Patients and prescribers should be alert for neuropsychiatric events. Patients should be instructed to notify their prescriber if these changes occur. Prescribers should carefully evaluate the risks and benefits of continuing treatment with SINGULAIR if such events occur. [emphasis mine]
That's messed up. Also sort of comforting, if there's a rational explanation for my gloom. So I tried an experiment: stopped taking the drug for a few days. My mood lifted. That's no proof. So I started taking the drug again, and for two days everything was okay, and then on the third day gloom and lethargy descended once again. Also an improved ability to breathe.
I'm thinking that on the whole, despite the fact that it is really quite enjoyable to be able to breathe and not wheeze, if I'm too depressed to take any actual pleasure in the free flow of air in my lungs and sinuses, it's just not worth it. I'd rather be cheerful and congested than breathing easy and contemplating driving off the road as I hurtle down Highway One.
Now I know, it's still not proof. Correlation is not causation, and it's entirely possible my mood swings have some other cause, but it certainly seems like it's worth trying dumping the drug again and seeing if my spirits stabilize. Cause this? This seriously sucks. Now I just have to wait for the stuff to get out of my system again, and avoid sad movies until it's gone.