A wretched soul, bruised with adversity
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
-William Shakespeare
Here's what's up with me: I'm sick. I have come down with another really bad respiratory infection. I've been sick since Wednesday, although I tried until Thursday night to pretend I wasn't. Horrid sore throat and earaches, sinuses and lungs infected, the whole works. I'm not posting much because... Because I don't know what to say. Because I've been too sick to bother. And because I feel guilty complaining about being sick when my mom is facing cancer surgery.
I've got some stuff I'm working on - spiritual thoughts. Hopefully I'll get it posted soon.
Shinobu, my eldest rat, died peacefully in his sleep on Friday. He was three years and five months old. I feel strangely calm about it, despite the fact that he was one of the rats I was fondest of. I just feel like he lived a really good, long life, and his work was done. By the time he died, he was paralyzed in the hind legs, had tail-tip die-off due to circulation issues, and was losing his vision to cataracts. To the last he remained loving, affectionate, interested in the world, lively, and alert, so I don't believe he was in any pain or discomfort despite his infirmities.
Mom's surgery is Wednesday. I feel very calm. I feel like this is so far out of my hands that emotion is unnecessary. I research her cancer, and I advise her about what a hysterectomy will be like and things she can do to make the recovery from surgery easier. I calmly read websites about whole pelvis radiation and chemotherapy, and I wonder if I'll feel less calm later. Once the waiting is over. Right now I sort of have that "view from 40,000 feet" feeling, when you are in the airplane, and neither here nor there, but in the travel-time buffer, where nothing is quite real.
There's more, some good, some not. Money issues. Taxes. The play I'm supposed to be helping with. Holy Week services and me with no voice. Momo coming to visit. JB moving here. It all feels very remote. Fallen Leaves continues to be a joy. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh. Somehow the world just keeps turning and turning. Sometimes it's nice to look at things in geologic time, or from a high altitude.
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain.
-William Shakespeare
Here's what's up with me: I'm sick. I have come down with another really bad respiratory infection. I've been sick since Wednesday, although I tried until Thursday night to pretend I wasn't. Horrid sore throat and earaches, sinuses and lungs infected, the whole works. I'm not posting much because... Because I don't know what to say. Because I've been too sick to bother. And because I feel guilty complaining about being sick when my mom is facing cancer surgery.
I've got some stuff I'm working on - spiritual thoughts. Hopefully I'll get it posted soon.
Shinobu, my eldest rat, died peacefully in his sleep on Friday. He was three years and five months old. I feel strangely calm about it, despite the fact that he was one of the rats I was fondest of. I just feel like he lived a really good, long life, and his work was done. By the time he died, he was paralyzed in the hind legs, had tail-tip die-off due to circulation issues, and was losing his vision to cataracts. To the last he remained loving, affectionate, interested in the world, lively, and alert, so I don't believe he was in any pain or discomfort despite his infirmities.
Mom's surgery is Wednesday. I feel very calm. I feel like this is so far out of my hands that emotion is unnecessary. I research her cancer, and I advise her about what a hysterectomy will be like and things she can do to make the recovery from surgery easier. I calmly read websites about whole pelvis radiation and chemotherapy, and I wonder if I'll feel less calm later. Once the waiting is over. Right now I sort of have that "view from 40,000 feet" feeling, when you are in the airplane, and neither here nor there, but in the travel-time buffer, where nothing is quite real.
There's more, some good, some not. Money issues. Taxes. The play I'm supposed to be helping with. Holy Week services and me with no voice. Momo coming to visit. JB moving here. It all feels very remote. Fallen Leaves continues to be a joy. Terry Pratchett makes me laugh. Somehow the world just keeps turning and turning. Sometimes it's nice to look at things in geologic time, or from a high altitude.