I have been Cybered
On Monday I did another clear liquid diet and bowel prep. This one involved drinking two liters of something ironically named GoLytely by a pharmaceutical company with a really wry sense of humor. It was colorless, odorless, and almost flavorless. The almost was really critical. On the first glass it seemed not so bad. By the third it was beginning to be mildly nauseating. By the sixth I was actively having to swallow hard to keep it down.
Obviously I am going to have to write a story about Genma attempting to gain immunity to a poison in this manner. Drinking something his body knows is poison, and forcing himself to keep going.
I kept going.
Oh yes, definitely going.
I got through seven of the eight I was supposed to drink before I gave up. As it turned out, seven was plenty.
Tuesday morning at 8:30 I went in to the doctor's office and swallowed a giant pill with 6 little blinky lights and a camera at one end. Then the nurse pasted eight sensors to my abdomen (which have left welts! I have suffered for science, I tell you) attached to wires, which attached to a data recorder which I wore strapped to my waist all day.
The great moment was at 10:30 when I got to drink something again, after having been allowed nothing by mouth since 10:00 the night before (except the pill with the blinky lights, which they did allow me to swallow with a glass of water, hallelujah.) The even greater moment was at 12:30 when I got to eat something. I chose Applejacks with 2% milk. Nummy, nummy, nummy.
At 5:00 I went back, they disconnected everything, and sent me on my way. They'll send the data recorder out, where someone will assemble the images broadcast by the tiny wireless camera as it traversed my small intestines, and makes a fascinating movie. Fascinating, I tell you. Candidate for Indy film of the year. Sundance material. Kanno Yoko will do the soundtrack.
We get it back in a week, at which point I find out if I am in for a third bowel cleansing in six weeks (fourth for the year, when you count the one I did before my surgery in March. I'm starting to feel ill used...) to be followed by the dreaded barium enema. While we'd like there to be no evidence of anything bad on the video, if there were something there to explain my tummy troubles, it would save me from the BE, so...
Anyway, the amazing micro wireless camera gets, uh, flushed. Did I mention that GoVigorously (name change courtsey of messypeaches) keeps working even when it no longer needs to? I skipped my water aerobics class today and did treadmill and weights instead, reasoning that I could more easily make a dash for the women's locker room from the gym than from the pool.
It seems to be settling down at last, tonight. I think I will make macaroni and cheese to celebrate.
In other news, I am still going to the gym. Go go treadmill for the win. I lifted over 5000 pounds today, according to the FitLinxx computer. Tomorrow I see the chiropractor and go to Japanese class. Friday I take the rats back to the vet for their abscesses, which have come back again. I think I just need to never take them off antibiotics. Writing continues to be a challenge, but I am getting some done. And the weather here has turned lovely.
Also it seems the domestic dispute in the apartment below mine, in which I was pretty sure I heard a gunshot, turned out not to be a murder. I called the cops. Cops called me back after checking it out and told me everything was okay.
And that's what it's like in my life.
Thankful for: friends to write with, medical technology, cereal and milk, cops who respond fast, that nobody was killed, iron chef, rats who love me no matter what
Obviously I am going to have to write a story about Genma attempting to gain immunity to a poison in this manner. Drinking something his body knows is poison, and forcing himself to keep going.
I kept going.
Oh yes, definitely going.
I got through seven of the eight I was supposed to drink before I gave up. As it turned out, seven was plenty.
Tuesday morning at 8:30 I went in to the doctor's office and swallowed a giant pill with 6 little blinky lights and a camera at one end. Then the nurse pasted eight sensors to my abdomen (which have left welts! I have suffered for science, I tell you) attached to wires, which attached to a data recorder which I wore strapped to my waist all day.
The great moment was at 10:30 when I got to drink something again, after having been allowed nothing by mouth since 10:00 the night before (except the pill with the blinky lights, which they did allow me to swallow with a glass of water, hallelujah.) The even greater moment was at 12:30 when I got to eat something. I chose Applejacks with 2% milk. Nummy, nummy, nummy.
At 5:00 I went back, they disconnected everything, and sent me on my way. They'll send the data recorder out, where someone will assemble the images broadcast by the tiny wireless camera as it traversed my small intestines, and makes a fascinating movie. Fascinating, I tell you. Candidate for Indy film of the year. Sundance material. Kanno Yoko will do the soundtrack.
We get it back in a week, at which point I find out if I am in for a third bowel cleansing in six weeks (fourth for the year, when you count the one I did before my surgery in March. I'm starting to feel ill used...) to be followed by the dreaded barium enema. While we'd like there to be no evidence of anything bad on the video, if there were something there to explain my tummy troubles, it would save me from the BE, so...
Anyway, the amazing micro wireless camera gets, uh, flushed. Did I mention that GoVigorously (name change courtsey of messypeaches) keeps working even when it no longer needs to? I skipped my water aerobics class today and did treadmill and weights instead, reasoning that I could more easily make a dash for the women's locker room from the gym than from the pool.
It seems to be settling down at last, tonight. I think I will make macaroni and cheese to celebrate.
In other news, I am still going to the gym. Go go treadmill for the win. I lifted over 5000 pounds today, according to the FitLinxx computer. Tomorrow I see the chiropractor and go to Japanese class. Friday I take the rats back to the vet for their abscesses, which have come back again. I think I just need to never take them off antibiotics. Writing continues to be a challenge, but I am getting some done. And the weather here has turned lovely.
Also it seems the domestic dispute in the apartment below mine, in which I was pretty sure I heard a gunshot, turned out not to be a murder. I called the cops. Cops called me back after checking it out and told me everything was okay.
And that's what it's like in my life.
Thankful for: friends to write with, medical technology, cereal and milk, cops who respond fast, that nobody was killed, iron chef, rats who love me no matter what