Where Heart is Present

Mar 22, 2005 21:05

Sometimes I wonder "what am I" and "who am I supposed to be?"
I know I just have to "be myself" but it may not be enough. There are still many unanswered questions or problems of the obvious surrounding in my mind that makes me feel highly insecured.
Often the issue is connected or somewhat related to relationships and surroundings.

The most important task I have yet understood is the problem of "How to love someone".
Too many rules would be controlling, but too few of restrictions would considered as "don't seem to care".
I guess it's probably best not thinking too much even if certain things doesn't seem to be a good decision.
People are different, I don't know how to maintain a good lasting bond between myself and the person I love.
Suspecting and questioning only will proves I have no faith or trust in that special person AND my own heart.
... I don't want to be like that, I wish both of us can sacrifice SOMETHING to make our bond stronger.

In cases like this, often people told me to trust and don't lose the feeling of "believing in her".
All I CAN do is trust and have faith, and not thinking too much... because the more I think, the more negative alternative thoughts would pop up. I don't like myself being that way, I have unintentionally pushed the ones I care about and the person I love further away by my actions.

I don't think one can "try too hard" in a relationship, I want to give all that I can give and I wish I can finally understand and bring happiness to Ten for being with me.
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