black OR white
Kalo dipikir-pikir, kayaknya belum pernah nulis tentang Suzhou yah? XD
I study medicine at Suzhou University, in Suzhou, China. Pas dateng k sini, kita baru angkatan ke-tiga setelah angkatan 2005 dan 2006. Jumlah orang indo yang lumayan terbatas, sekitar 20 orang?
Dan angkatan '07 tu ada 22 orang (skarang sisa 19 orang). Karena dormnya kepisah ama senior2 lain, jadinya kita terikat satu sama lain seangkatan.
Awalnya sih kemana-mana bareng, apalagi yang bisa bahasa cina cm dua-tiga orang. Mau ngk mau harus depend on others..
I'm really bad at interacting with others. I can't start a topic to talk. I don't really laugh at someone's joke. I don't like taking pictures, which all other girls seem to love. I'm not good at service-smile. And my face gives off a stay-away-from-me aura.
Not that I don't want to blend with others. I just can't. I'm not the type to start a conversation with others. And it's not like I care what others think of me as long as I'm not doing any harm to them by being an 'anti-social'.
Yaaahh,, ini udah cerita dari taon 2007 dan skarang udah 2011~ bisa dibilang situasi di sini udah berubah.
I'm still the same. I'm okay being by myself and still have the stay-away-from-me face almost all the time. But i think some of them already get it that it is the way I am and it's not like I want to do any harm to them XD despite of my looks.
To the story, it was around last year (i think), when we need to change dorms, and there's a really complicated problem of i-want-to-be-with-him/her and i-don't-want-to-be-with-him/her syndrome.
After a couple of years, of course I can get a hold of who is with who and who is not good with who. But apparently, it is just a front cover. A large portion of the people seem to can't stand a particular person, but all this time they choose to endure. Now when we need to change dorms and can reshuffle roommates, they want to 'free' themselves.
But,,
they can't choose to abandon this person.
they all don't want this person, but they don't want to be blamed by leaving.
gimana yah? mereka nggak berani buat jujur sama dia kalo nggak ada yang mau sama dia. padahal semuanya udh tau masalahnya, cm nggk ada yang berani buat ngomong.
mereka nggk ada yg mau sama dia, tapi tetep bilang nggk mau 'buang' dia. katanya kita cm segini2 orang udh beberapa tahun bareng2, masa ngebuang temen?
tapi nggk ada yang berani ngotorin mulut buat bilang ke dia kalo nggk ada yg mau sama dia. haha..
Weird people.
but apa sih image luar bagus2 tapi sebenernya kesel?
ngerti sih, kalo ngomong langsung bakal terdengar kejam.
tapi mana yg lebih penting sih?
diri sendiri ato orang lain?
diri sendiri dong?
anyway,, akhirnya diadain kumpul2 dadakan pas bubar kelas. excluding dia sih, soalnya dadakannya setelah dy balik.
trs baru deh pada ngomong kalo they cant stand that person.
hmm,, untungnya bwt g (untungnya,, haha) g ngk takut buat ngomong. jadi kalo nanya n comment blak-blakan. haha
kayaknya semua dimulai disitu deh.
g yg biasanya ngk ikut campur kalo ada masalah (ato malah g yg bikin masalah haha) kayaknya dianggap cukup worth buat jadi tempat mereka cerita.
trus akhirnya g menyarankan (menghasut) mereka buat ngomong apa adanya sama dy n bilang klo diri snriri lebih penting.
in the end, entah gara2 hasutan g yg sukses ato gara2 saran dari orang2 lain. akhirnya mereka go talk to that person. XD
balik lagi, ini udah kejadian yang berlalu n udh ngk valid lg sekarang XD
kembali ke cerita,, (yang diatas daritadi cm prologue loh,, bkn inti post kali ini hahaha XD)
entah cuma perasaan g doang ato beneran,
setalah kejadian itu,
some people began to 'accept' me.
they told their tales to me
(and i will hold my tongue)
nah, setelah denger cerita-cerita dari beberapa orang,
g mulai ngerubah cara pandang g terhadap mereka juga.
'ooo,, ternyata begini', 'klo dipikir dr sisi dy bener juga yah', etc.
tapi yang namanya cerita ttg diri sendiri,
kita tu terbiasa bgt buat nge-'victimize' diri kita sendiri
(i'm not just talking about others, i admit i do that too)
trus g sadar kalo cerita dari beberapa orang tu bener2 tabrakan.
XD XD XD XD
okeeee,, inti dari post yang puanjaaang ini adalah:
siapa yang bener?
dia yang dia ceritain k g?
ato dia yg diceritain orang laein k g?
ato image g tentang dy?
DAN,,
gimana pandangan orang k gw? (not that i really care, but just curious)
berhubung sifat g yg ngomong blak-blakan n muka g yg jutek parah, pastinya anak-anak pada serem juga toh ngomong jujur tentang pandangan mereka sama g? haha..
takut digigit kali :p
lagian kalo ngobrol gitu kan banyakan ngomongin orang laen lagi, kalopun g tanya 'gmn gw?' pasti komentarnya yang positive2 aja..
jadi?
harus mandi nih XD
written: January 01, 2012, 22:13
editted: August 01, 2013 14:59