Star Tours: Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi!?
Went on the new revamped "Star Tours" ride and, yeah, it was pretty much as bad as I expected it to be. Well, no, some things actually were improvements. They give you more to look at while you wait to board, they changed the pilot REX to a character from the films (can't believe it took them this long to do so, actually), the visuals are absolutely stunning and the 3D is used for good, not evil. It gives depth most of the time rather than just having crap shooting at you, which is what I was afraid they were going to do with it.
But the bad is very bad.
They got rid of the woman who made the safety speech, replacing her with a hideous 3D animated droid. They also got rid of some of the funniest parts of the safety video. Or all of them, really. We do have more to look at while we wait to board, but what I saw was stupid slapstick droid stuff. Mom cackled, but she's like a five-year-old in her sense of humor sometimes, haha. No one else was laughing.
The whole ride is basically for kids under eight and people who love the prequels. The ride spends a long time in a pod race for....some damn reason. HOW did we happen to arrive in the EXACT place one would need to arrive in order to take part in a pod race? Is the whole damn planet having lots of them? Or are we just that lucky? I know, it's an amusement park ride and I'm being stupid, but I'm annoyed, dammit :p And I know the answer: Kids and people who like the prequels think pod races are cool. And I guess they can be, but I don't feel it was done well here. I really really wanted to be thrilled, but I was not.
Boba Fett shows up for....some damn reason. But I know the reason: Boba Fett is popular with kids and fans of the prequels.
Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan...
The very worst part was when the ride stopped so Yoda could talk in that plodding inverted annoying way he does. Look, if you like the little guy, fine. I can easily see why he's popular. But the ride shouldn't stop for him to talk! Even if he IS popular with kids and fans of the prequels.
OK, without spoiling, when the castmember bid us to enjoy our trip, which he assured us would be awesome, a guy sitting in the row in front of mine said "It had better be!" He was basically Comic Book Guy. If you have been on the ride and know the plot, he was the member of the group who was chosen. That's all I'm gonna say. It shows that they are listening, hahaha. But this bit also caused the ride to stop!
So a few changes were good. Replacing the generic droid pilot, love him though I did, with actual characters from the films was a change that needed to happen. The better visuals needed to happen. Better integration with the films is appreciated, and the 3D was used well. The music is still good and the ride itself is still good, when there is movement. The problem is the damn thing stops for exposition and deviates into a bland pod race for no reason. If it was a fun pod race I'd be OK with it, but it wasn't. Freaking Boba Fett had no business being there and I don't go on rides to hear Yoda talk. They should have replaced their bits with fly-bys of locations from the original trilogy.
Overall too much of the ride had to do with the prequels. The whole ride is either utter fanservice for people who liked the prequels or stuff for kids. It felt really short. When you finish a ride you shouldn't think "That's all?" especially if the ride isn't limited by space. This thing is a simulator and can go on for as long as they want, so there is no reason for it to feel so short. Maybe it felt that way because of the stops. All I know is I am disappointed and grieving for the original ride. This new thing was pretty close to utter gos se.
"Firefly" is my sci-fi now (I was wearing my Jayne Cobb t-shirt, actually). I don't know if I can even enjoy the original trilogy anymore, the deluge of horrible prequel stuff is so constant and tainting. Which is so totally not shiny :(
I know the ride changes every time you ride it and it is possible I happened to get the worst mix, but wow, I've got the worst luck if that is so. And I have zero motivation to find out if any other possible experience is better than the craptastic one I got. I might get an even worse one: Lucas saw fit to include Jar Jar as a possibility.
I would guess that most people won't dislike it as much as I did. You should probably give it a go anyway, but just be ready for an encounter with Jar Jar.
Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze!
But the bad is very bad.
They got rid of the woman who made the safety speech, replacing her with a hideous 3D animated droid. They also got rid of some of the funniest parts of the safety video. Or all of them, really. We do have more to look at while we wait to board, but what I saw was stupid slapstick droid stuff. Mom cackled, but she's like a five-year-old in her sense of humor sometimes, haha. No one else was laughing.
The whole ride is basically for kids under eight and people who love the prequels. The ride spends a long time in a pod race for....some damn reason. HOW did we happen to arrive in the EXACT place one would need to arrive in order to take part in a pod race? Is the whole damn planet having lots of them? Or are we just that lucky? I know, it's an amusement park ride and I'm being stupid, but I'm annoyed, dammit :p And I know the answer: Kids and people who like the prequels think pod races are cool. And I guess they can be, but I don't feel it was done well here. I really really wanted to be thrilled, but I was not.
Boba Fett shows up for....some damn reason. But I know the reason: Boba Fett is popular with kids and fans of the prequels.
Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan...
The very worst part was when the ride stopped so Yoda could talk in that plodding inverted annoying way he does. Look, if you like the little guy, fine. I can easily see why he's popular. But the ride shouldn't stop for him to talk! Even if he IS popular with kids and fans of the prequels.
OK, without spoiling, when the castmember bid us to enjoy our trip, which he assured us would be awesome, a guy sitting in the row in front of mine said "It had better be!" He was basically Comic Book Guy. If you have been on the ride and know the plot, he was the member of the group who was chosen. That's all I'm gonna say. It shows that they are listening, hahaha. But this bit also caused the ride to stop!
So a few changes were good. Replacing the generic droid pilot, love him though I did, with actual characters from the films was a change that needed to happen. The better visuals needed to happen. Better integration with the films is appreciated, and the 3D was used well. The music is still good and the ride itself is still good, when there is movement. The problem is the damn thing stops for exposition and deviates into a bland pod race for no reason. If it was a fun pod race I'd be OK with it, but it wasn't. Freaking Boba Fett had no business being there and I don't go on rides to hear Yoda talk. They should have replaced their bits with fly-bys of locations from the original trilogy.
Overall too much of the ride had to do with the prequels. The whole ride is either utter fanservice for people who liked the prequels or stuff for kids. It felt really short. When you finish a ride you shouldn't think "That's all?" especially if the ride isn't limited by space. This thing is a simulator and can go on for as long as they want, so there is no reason for it to feel so short. Maybe it felt that way because of the stops. All I know is I am disappointed and grieving for the original ride. This new thing was pretty close to utter gos se.
"Firefly" is my sci-fi now (I was wearing my Jayne Cobb t-shirt, actually). I don't know if I can even enjoy the original trilogy anymore, the deluge of horrible prequel stuff is so constant and tainting. Which is so totally not shiny :(
I know the ride changes every time you ride it and it is possible I happened to get the worst mix, but wow, I've got the worst luck if that is so. And I have zero motivation to find out if any other possible experience is better than the craptastic one I got. I might get an even worse one: Lucas saw fit to include Jar Jar as a possibility.
I would guess that most people won't dislike it as much as I did. You should probably give it a go anyway, but just be ready for an encounter with Jar Jar.
Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze!