(Untitled)

[waitforitdary]

This is new.

...

Bathing suit up!

Comments

[scarily]

Not likely.

[waitforitdary]

No? Think about it, you could get in shape, lose a few pounds, maybe get a tan... it'd probably make you hotter.

[scarily]

You could lose some weight too. I'm thinking twenty-one grams.

[waitforitdary]

I doubt it. I'm the perfect weight. It takes time and energy to look this good.

[scarily]

Then you must not have much of either.

[waitforitdary]

...you're a lesbian, aren't you?

[scarily]

Every now and then.

[waitforitdary]

...

[Touches his lips with two fingers and points them up to the sky.]

Thanks, big guy.

So, tell me about this "every now and then" lesbian thing you've got going on.

[scarily]

[ shrugs. ] If the girl tastes right.

[waitforitdary]

...uh huh. Tell me more.

[scarily]

So I can star in your sick little fantasy? I don't think so. It's more fun to have you in mine.

[ runs her tongue over her teeth. someone's feeling peckish. ]

[waitforitdary]

We could stop fantasizing all together. This is a resort; there have to be rooms.

[Yeah, he doesn't get it at all.]

[scarily]

You don't say?

[ walks her fingers up his tie. ]

How about some place nice and dark?

I TOTALLY DIDN'T FAIL TO THINK OF THIS TILL NOW.

[waitforitdary]

[Cups her head in his hand, looking down at her earnestly.]

Sounds perfect, baby.

[Now that he's actually looking at her face instead of that very distracting leather number she's in, he pulls back and squints.]

Wait a second...

Lily?

I SAW NOTHING. NOTHING.

[scarily]

[ eyes, meet back of skull. ]

Willow.

[ tie-tugging forever. ]

[waitforitdary]

Since when?

And does Marshall know you're trying to sleep with me? It's a good thing I'm not the kind of man to sleep with my bro's wife. I don't want to be slapped again.