My first half of the response to you failed to go through, that other reply was the second half, so here is the first half again:
I grew up with a mentally ill mother and I hated the way she was and I hated the way my brother was, he was a molester and a thief who ended up in jail a lot. I had a terrible time forgiving them as well as my ex-husband for all the abuse he put me through.
Later, I became a church going christian and I knew that forgiveness was important. So I prayed and said "Jesus, I can't forgive them but you can, so I place them in your hands". That was my first step. Then one day in church, this forced it's way into my head: when Jesus died on the cross he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". Right then I realized that they didn't fully know how their own actions would hurt and seriously effect others. All they knew was what they had lived through that made them the way they were and they couldn't seem to break free of their own actions.
I was able to forgive them, but that did not mean I would ever forget what happened, nor did I ever have to allow it to happen again. My mom knew I had forgiven her and she also knew I wouldn't allow her to go on doing stuff to me, and I had to enforce that rule many more times with her before she died.
I was extremely happy I was able to forgive my brother, he ended up a broken homeless man living on the streets and in shelters before his death. He had suffered horrible symptoms for 10 years before finding out it was because of a cancerous brain tumor, and he found out just a few days before he died.
I also understand all the tortures my ex-husband went through in his childhood that led him to be the way he was. It wasn't that hard to forgive him.
In school I was teased and bullied too. I had slightly discolored skin on my neck and was teased about my neck being dirty and other such stuff that wasn't my fault at all. We had a wood cookstove that heated the water to the tank for our baths. My mom wouldn't get up early enough to start the stove going and heat water so I could bathe before school, so I was teased terribly for smelling bad and for wearing dirty clothes.
For the 40th reunion book I wrote all about how badly I was treated in school and all about my problems with bathing and clothes and all. I did get a letter from one girl who hung out with others who treated me so badly. She said she knew something was wrong and wanted to help me but didn't know what to do because of the lack of knowing from being so young, and she apologized to me.
I grew up with a mentally ill mother and I hated the way she was and I hated the way my brother was, he was a molester and a thief who ended up in jail a lot. I had a terrible time forgiving them as well as my ex-husband for all the abuse he put me through.
Later, I became a church going christian and I knew that forgiveness was important. So I prayed and said "Jesus, I can't forgive them but you can, so I place them in your hands". That was my first step. Then one day in church, this forced it's way into my head: when Jesus died on the cross he said "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". Right then I realized that they didn't fully know how their own actions would hurt and seriously effect others. All they knew was what they had lived through that made them the way they were and they couldn't seem to break free of their own actions.
I was able to forgive them, but that did not mean I would ever forget what happened, nor did I ever have to allow it to happen again. My mom knew I had forgiven her and she also knew I wouldn't allow her to go on doing stuff to me, and I had to enforce that rule many more times with her before she died.
I was extremely happy I was able to forgive my brother, he ended up a broken homeless man living on the streets and in shelters before his death. He had suffered horrible symptoms for 10 years before finding out it was because of a cancerous brain tumor, and he found out just a few days before he died.
I also understand all the tortures my ex-husband went through in his childhood that led him to be the way he was. It wasn't that hard to forgive him.
In school I was teased and bullied too. I had slightly discolored skin on my neck and was teased about my neck being dirty and other such stuff that wasn't my fault at all. We had a wood cookstove that heated the water to the tank for our baths. My mom wouldn't get up early enough to start the stove going and heat water so I could bathe before school, so I was teased terribly for smelling bad and for wearing dirty clothes.
For the 40th reunion book I wrote all about how badly I was treated in school and all about my problems with bathing and clothes and all. I did get a letter from one girl who hung out with others who treated me so badly. She said she knew something was wrong and wanted to help me but didn't know what to do because of the lack of knowing from being so young, and she apologized to me.
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