frustration looks like...
Woah hi livejournal, haven't written anything in ages. Someone recently told me I am an "ugly and negative person on the inside." I need to write about that. I don't understand why anyone would say that. It pains me deeply that someone would.
This particular someone really doesn't have any bearing on my life, and I don't really take anything they say too seriously, but it is frustrating to me that there are people out there who think I am something I know I am not. It is hard to have someone completely reject you from their lives, even though they don't completely understand the implications of what they are saying or doing.
I think when Jason died I got an entirely new perspective of the world. I have always been an open and caring person, but when he died and I couldn't say any of the things I wished I had and I knew I would never get a chance to say them again, I started treating everyone I knew differently. No matter what someone does to me (short of murdering my entire family), I can and do forgive them.
I see past people's dark sides and try to help them however I can, because I know that people are more complex than what any one personal interaction can dictate. I know that a dark side of someone only emerges under the right conditions, and in most cases it was instigated. There are usually reasons behind actions.
I just know that life is short -- too short -- to live in the past or to hold grudges. I try to find people's reasons, which I don't blame anyone for. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have, so who am I to judge someone else? I guess not everyone has learned that yet, and in fact, I believe most people haven't. If they had, they wouldn't ever say something like that to another person they barely know.
This particular someone really doesn't have any bearing on my life, and I don't really take anything they say too seriously, but it is frustrating to me that there are people out there who think I am something I know I am not. It is hard to have someone completely reject you from their lives, even though they don't completely understand the implications of what they are saying or doing.
I think when Jason died I got an entirely new perspective of the world. I have always been an open and caring person, but when he died and I couldn't say any of the things I wished I had and I knew I would never get a chance to say them again, I started treating everyone I knew differently. No matter what someone does to me (short of murdering my entire family), I can and do forgive them.
I see past people's dark sides and try to help them however I can, because I know that people are more complex than what any one personal interaction can dictate. I know that a dark side of someone only emerges under the right conditions, and in most cases it was instigated. There are usually reasons behind actions.
I just know that life is short -- too short -- to live in the past or to hold grudges. I try to find people's reasons, which I don't blame anyone for. Everyone does the best they can with the resources they have, so who am I to judge someone else? I guess not everyone has learned that yet, and in fact, I believe most people haven't. If they had, they wouldn't ever say something like that to another person they barely know.