(no subject)
I'll never feel fully awake. Okay. Now that I know this, lets move on.
Its kind of bittersweet to watch people you used to know, used to talk to, used to look forward to being around, become people you dodge. It's like one day things are the way they have always been...and then the next it's the opposite. Friends who used to be an extension of yourself, become strangers. Ex-Boyfriends you could never imagine forgetting, become forgotten about. Old habits, gone. And the shocker is that it's not a sad thing. I'm not disappointed or upset or wishing to change it. I'm not feeling sad. Nor am I remorseful. I'm simply apathetic. I'll think about it every once in a while, just long enough to wonder how things change so quickly, so undetected, but then I shrug it off. You change so much in life that you start needing, wanting different things and it clashes sometimes with who you used to be. So you adapt. You make new friends, you fall in love all over again, you obtain new habits.
The things is...
Those things that define you. That belong to you. That were meant for you...they stay with you. They change with you, alongside you.
I think people are made up of zillions of little pieces, like little pictures of all the things that make up their internal stitching. Like a box of brand new crayons, and an assortment of flavored jelly beans. Sunflowers, love letters, old-broken-in tee shirts, a pair of ripped jeans. Your family, your boyfriend, your friends. Carmel flavored coffee, movie theater popcorn. A comfy bed. The color purple. Sunsets. Sunrises. Pets. Body Pillows. Belly laughs. A snapshot of a great prank. Graduation photos. The brown bear your boyfriend bought you to hold onto when he wasn't there. Fireworks from the fourth of July.
And the older you grow, the more pieces you add. Like a can of spaghettios in your first apartment. And the view from the plane on your first vacation together. Random snapshots from countries you've visited. A platinum wedding band. The set of vows. Maternity clothes and the half crooked smile of a newborn. The set of keys to your first house. Photos of family weddings and births. A mom van. Your 50th anniversary dinner....
Its kind of bittersweet to watch people you used to know, used to talk to, used to look forward to being around, become people you dodge. It's like one day things are the way they have always been...and then the next it's the opposite. Friends who used to be an extension of yourself, become strangers. Ex-Boyfriends you could never imagine forgetting, become forgotten about. Old habits, gone. And the shocker is that it's not a sad thing. I'm not disappointed or upset or wishing to change it. I'm not feeling sad. Nor am I remorseful. I'm simply apathetic. I'll think about it every once in a while, just long enough to wonder how things change so quickly, so undetected, but then I shrug it off. You change so much in life that you start needing, wanting different things and it clashes sometimes with who you used to be. So you adapt. You make new friends, you fall in love all over again, you obtain new habits.
The things is...
Those things that define you. That belong to you. That were meant for you...they stay with you. They change with you, alongside you.
I think people are made up of zillions of little pieces, like little pictures of all the things that make up their internal stitching. Like a box of brand new crayons, and an assortment of flavored jelly beans. Sunflowers, love letters, old-broken-in tee shirts, a pair of ripped jeans. Your family, your boyfriend, your friends. Carmel flavored coffee, movie theater popcorn. A comfy bed. The color purple. Sunsets. Sunrises. Pets. Body Pillows. Belly laughs. A snapshot of a great prank. Graduation photos. The brown bear your boyfriend bought you to hold onto when he wasn't there. Fireworks from the fourth of July.
And the older you grow, the more pieces you add. Like a can of spaghettios in your first apartment. And the view from the plane on your first vacation together. Random snapshots from countries you've visited. A platinum wedding band. The set of vows. Maternity clothes and the half crooked smile of a newborn. The set of keys to your first house. Photos of family weddings and births. A mom van. Your 50th anniversary dinner....