Destiny
Well, there's good news and bad news.
The good news is:
I'm finally done with the semester, including classes and work, and I'll be out of here by 5:30pm or so by Friday. All I have to do now is do some serious cleaning and then pack. I'm somewhat excited to go back home and see my parents and all my ol' buddies again. I'm also somewhat bummed to be going back to my parent's place. Let's just say it's an inconvenience to be there, but I'd rather not ramble on about it right now.
Also, I plan to lose around 20 lbs. this summer! Hopefully, I'll be on my way to good health and finally confidence in myself and my appearance.
The bad news is:
There is a good chance I will be failing college AGAIN and I expect to hear from the Scholastic Appeal Committee AGAIN about a future appeal for me to persuade them to let me back into college somehow. Although, I might fail college again, I am sad to say I might not come back this time. I suppose I just needed this year to finally figure out if a 4-year University is really right for me or not. Perhaps, if I do fail, I will decide that a 4-year college plan is not right for me. I do want to become an artist one day and I'm sure I'll have plenty of options elsewhere. I just have a voice in my head, now, telling me at least this college isn't doing it for me anymore.
Also, I think I might need a break from school. I need time to work out my priorities. I've realized I really only went to M.S.U because of pressure from significant family members, high school teachers and friends. I'm starting to realize that maybe I was only doing this for them and not for me. My point is, I'm realizing that this is my life and my destiny and I should give myself the right to choose what I do with it for me and not for others. Also, I should probably get a job, soon, so I can support myself since I know I'm getting older now and my parents can barely support themselves, let alone myself anymore...
I have mixed feelings about my destiny, but I know that I really need time to decide what to do. That is in my gut right now and it isn't going away any time sooner. I am sad that I might not come back to M.S.U mainly because I feel like I'm leaving behind the good memories I've had there so far, along with all my friends that go to M.S.U or O.T.C. It's sort of been a heartbreak for me, but I know, if I make the effort, I can continue to see them. Just because I might not go to that college anymore, I think I can still see all those familiar faces is what I continue to tell myself. I am also feeling somewhat relieved because I've finally figured out I can have the option to "take a breather" and figure out my future plans...
This has all really hit me like a brick since the last two days, but I think it's starting to sink in in a good way. I am hoping for the best. Wish me luck and love all you guys so much whether I know you well or not...
The good news is:
I'm finally done with the semester, including classes and work, and I'll be out of here by 5:30pm or so by Friday. All I have to do now is do some serious cleaning and then pack. I'm somewhat excited to go back home and see my parents and all my ol' buddies again. I'm also somewhat bummed to be going back to my parent's place. Let's just say it's an inconvenience to be there, but I'd rather not ramble on about it right now.
Also, I plan to lose around 20 lbs. this summer! Hopefully, I'll be on my way to good health and finally confidence in myself and my appearance.
The bad news is:
There is a good chance I will be failing college AGAIN and I expect to hear from the Scholastic Appeal Committee AGAIN about a future appeal for me to persuade them to let me back into college somehow. Although, I might fail college again, I am sad to say I might not come back this time. I suppose I just needed this year to finally figure out if a 4-year University is really right for me or not. Perhaps, if I do fail, I will decide that a 4-year college plan is not right for me. I do want to become an artist one day and I'm sure I'll have plenty of options elsewhere. I just have a voice in my head, now, telling me at least this college isn't doing it for me anymore.
Also, I think I might need a break from school. I need time to work out my priorities. I've realized I really only went to M.S.U because of pressure from significant family members, high school teachers and friends. I'm starting to realize that maybe I was only doing this for them and not for me. My point is, I'm realizing that this is my life and my destiny and I should give myself the right to choose what I do with it for me and not for others. Also, I should probably get a job, soon, so I can support myself since I know I'm getting older now and my parents can barely support themselves, let alone myself anymore...
I have mixed feelings about my destiny, but I know that I really need time to decide what to do. That is in my gut right now and it isn't going away any time sooner. I am sad that I might not come back to M.S.U mainly because I feel like I'm leaving behind the good memories I've had there so far, along with all my friends that go to M.S.U or O.T.C. It's sort of been a heartbreak for me, but I know, if I make the effort, I can continue to see them. Just because I might not go to that college anymore, I think I can still see all those familiar faces is what I continue to tell myself. I am also feeling somewhat relieved because I've finally figured out I can have the option to "take a breather" and figure out my future plans...
This has all really hit me like a brick since the last two days, but I think it's starting to sink in in a good way. I am hoping for the best. Wish me luck and love all you guys so much whether I know you well or not...