concerns
I just realized that I have sunken into this state of confusion that only continues to grow more complicated. I really have nothing keeping me in Raleigh. Besides the job but now that i'm only working 8hrs a week b/c of the cut backs, I'm wondering if its worth it at all. Maybe i should just transfer to gso. Then again there's nothing keeping me in greensboro either. Except for school, which honestly, doesn't seem very important right now and that in inself probably doesn't make too much sense. I just feel like I'm at a dead end. Someone just fall from the sky and tell me you're my soul mate so that I can feel like I have some reason to be somewhere. That might be the stupidest thing i've ever said. Shouldn't your purpose in life be dependent on you and not on someone else? I think I have this all backwards but I really don't think that its ever going to change.
I should really be studying but I think i've fried my brain. Its not functioning anymore. I think i'm addicted to that medicine. When I don't take it I feel like I want to die. Seriously. I don't know why getting through such simple tasks is so difficult for me or why I make them that way. I say "I think" a lot which is funny b/c I don't really think that I think that much at all. I don't feel like I have any control over these thoughts that come into my mind. I bought 2 more journals. They were on sale at b&n and with my discount they were really cheap. I don't need them but somehow I get this satisfaction out of buying journals in the hopes that maybe I'll be able to work out these things in my head and that eventually I can be "normal." And "normal" according to one of the bargain books in the self-help section is "just a setting on the dryer." So I guess I want to be like the damn dryer.
I'd just like for someone to give me a valid reason as to why I'm so disappointed all the time.
I should really be studying but I think i've fried my brain. Its not functioning anymore. I think i'm addicted to that medicine. When I don't take it I feel like I want to die. Seriously. I don't know why getting through such simple tasks is so difficult for me or why I make them that way. I say "I think" a lot which is funny b/c I don't really think that I think that much at all. I don't feel like I have any control over these thoughts that come into my mind. I bought 2 more journals. They were on sale at b&n and with my discount they were really cheap. I don't need them but somehow I get this satisfaction out of buying journals in the hopes that maybe I'll be able to work out these things in my head and that eventually I can be "normal." And "normal" according to one of the bargain books in the self-help section is "just a setting on the dryer." So I guess I want to be like the damn dryer.
I'd just like for someone to give me a valid reason as to why I'm so disappointed all the time.