ARGHHHHH!!!

Jun 02, 2013 01:42

IM SO FUCKING ANNOYEDDDDDD. How can a person actually be this retarded? I think I need to delete this fuckign idiot. Lol literally everyone in my life is awesome except for this person who I figured was harmless anyhow and just stupid. But he's legit making me want to punch him in the face.

4:15pm
Ben Lindo
Have you ever heard of Kratom?
http://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom_basics.shtml
They tried to sell me some at the pot shop place and I'm like, ill look it up first
thought you might be interested as it's supposedly good for opiate withdrawl

5:27pm
Lisa Eff
Yeah I know what it is, it's what I mentioned when we discussed possible things to help ease withdrawal. It's effect is on par with ketamine, and I prefer ketamine because it would knock me completely out for a little while. haha so my opiate withdrawal research is really thorough and updated all the time, cause I always want to hear the newest things that are possible to try. But many doctors are only just hearing of suboxone, others still don't what what it is.

5:28pm
Lisa Eff
Why did they try to seell you kratom!?
Many of the helpful things might work on someone who had a very mild addiction but remember, I was shooting it into my bloodstream every coupe hours or more for years.

5:46pm
Ben Lindo
I was asking about something else they didn't have and they're like well we have THIS which you might like lol
Dr's don't know of the herbal / traditionally medicine stuff, or they don't care.

6:49pm
Ben Lindo
So have you heard anything bad about using Kratom?
Today

12:36am
Lisa Eff
Like I said... it doesn't work very well. Ketamine is better... and even ketamine is only helpful for the amount of time you spend in a k hole.
Anyway I don't really think you'd understand about this stuff since you've never had experience with it!
There is NO herbal cure. Even Iboga which is traditional & natural and costs $9000+ doesn't work.

12:41am
Ben Lindo
not the best fail compilation , mostly lots of people getting hurt But here's a guy on a pole...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=l2h9kFq3TFQ#t=680s
Oh just got your last message... well it supposedly works for some people, of course you still need your own motivation and will power to get through it.

1:15am
Lisa Eff
UGHHH. It's not about motivation and will power. I'm pretty sure I have a ton of both. Doesn't mean it will get me through withdrawal.
I'm not talking about this with you anymore, it just pisses me off.
You just don't understand so please stop talking as if you do, making comments like that doesn't accomplish anything useful. It's like you are trying to make it seem like it's easy and you keep forgetting the immense amount of info I know about this topic for obvious reasons.

1:22am
Ben Lindo
ok sorry I won't mention it anymore, just try to keep an open positive mind and stay open to the possibillity that you don't want to quit because your addicted to your pharmaceutical version of heroin.

1:22am
Lisa Eff
OMG.
That's really offensive. Lol you don't even know me at all...
The pharmaceutical... DOES NOT MAKE ME HIGH
Obviously I am physically addicted to it since it's an opiate
kratom is addictive as well, except more so since it ALSO makes people high if they don';t have a tolerance yet
I just wouldn't talk like that if I were you considering you are pretty clueless about this whole topic. So to make comments like that are seriously offensive to me.

1:26am
Ben Lindo
It's not what I THINK i'm offering suggestions and things other people have used, they've gone through similar situations.
You're taking it offensively and being defensive.
I won't bug you about it anymore if you don't want help.

1:36am
Lisa Eff
uhhh... wow again, just because "they" did it doesn't mean I haven't tried dude. Addictions are not all equal. ALL OPIATES ARE NOT EQUAL!!! In fact, all heroinn addictions are not equal. SNorting, shooting, smoking = ALL EXTREMELY DIFFERENT WITHDRAWAL EXPERIENCES. Furthermore, every person is different.
Yeah i'm defensive because you don't know me at all yet are trying to tell me I don't have enough WILLPOWER to get off my opiate maintenance, and you are trying to tell me I am addicted to it... without first verifying that to be true. Lol it's just ridiculous. The one that I am on as I said, does not get people high. The other one that is cheap/possibly free/used way more is METHADONE. I went through so much fucking hell because I would not go on methadone. All the hell I went through required all the willpower in the world. Once again, you really don't knnow nearly enough about me or my situation to be saying the things you are saying.
lol it's not that I don't wannt help. It's that you are not helping. There's a difference.

Ben Lindo
I think you're making a mistake in thinking your such an isolated case though. I'm sure there are people who had it even worse and survived.
That's good your not on Methadone, I'm not sure you ever told me what you were on, something that doesn't get you high but still has horrible withdrawl symptoms?

2:31am
Lisa Eff
Never said I was an isolated case, never said people worse off than me didn't survive. AND YES thats exactly what I said, does not get me high, has horrible withdrawal symptoms. Since you don't seem to believe me, go look into the pharmacology & see how that works. Listen i'm actually really annoyed with you right now so can you just please stop talking about this? I have a lot of people, some with lots of experience in these matters, helping me. I never asked for your help because frankly, you don't know enough about this stuff OR me to help me. You are the one who is mistaken in thinking you have a clue about any of this stuff when you had no idea about any of this at all until I told you I was addicted to opiates. Honestly, it blows my mind the way you are talking about this crap. You have absolutely NO IDEA Ben. Do you realise that my entire life has revolved around addiction & rehab for YEARS??? Half of my whole life. Clearly I have met a whole ton of people whose entire lives have been dedicated to helping people like me. For you to talk to me as if I don't know as much as you on this topic is insulting and ridiculous. Seriously it's ridiculous!!! How do you not see that?
Considering I already kindly asked you to stop talking about it, why are you not giving this up? Maybe you should focus on your own problems. The fact that I have been off heroin for almost 3 years means a whole lot more than you would ever know. Most addicts never stay clean, and die. A high majority of IV drug users = do NOT stay clean. The odds are against us. So I think i've done pretty damn good, and don't need you second guessing all my hard work, effort & motivation. Willpower is never the answer in these matters, and before you say a word about that, research it first. Willpower means nothing. Addiction is a disease, willpower is not the answer. Willpower alone = failure, quite simply.
No offense but I believe you have problems with going to bed & waking up at a reasonable hour & you aren't working. Perhaps you are the one who has an issue with motivation & are deflecting your issues onto me? I'm quite happy where I am, and I accomplish a lot every day, pushing myself all the time. So for the very last time, I don't want to talk about this subject with you anymore. If you aren't going to respect my wishes then I will have no choice but to stop talking to you. If you were genuinely just trying to help out, then I appreciate it, but once you realised you weren't helping & were making things worse you should have stopped.

2:47am
Ben Lindo
See you're getting defensive again, trying to find faults in me as a result. I feel like you're judging me because I'm not an addict. I just don't think you should disregard anyone's help who hasn't been an addict. It doesn't mean no one else has anything to bring to the table you know?

2:49am
Ben Lindo
Anyway, sorry to offend you with my worthless advice, have a good night.

2:55am
Lisa Eff
lol i'm not finding faults in you, those are faults you told me you had. I'm not juding cause you aren't an addict, i'm judgig by the fact that you don't know what you are talking about and it shows. I don't disregard people's help who aren't addicts, ebcause I myself approaced someone who isn't an addict, to help me. Furthermore manny of the people who dedicate their lives to helping addicts are not addicts themseles. They just have experience & education on these matters, unlike you. Seriously you have a twisted view of things... if that's what you truly believe? You legit think you know so much about this and you'e decided in your mind that I don't want anyone's help lol. That's not the case... and I am doing great so I don't know why you thinnk I need your help so bad. It's insulting actually.

2:57am
Lisa Eff
When people don't want your help... don't push it. It's a respect thing. And it's called boundaries... which you've crossed mine all night.

FUCKING. REALLY!?!???!? This person is obviously mentally retarded. I should have realised though, 30 something year old, no job, no life, too cheap to pay for half of his own dinner from Nazareth the cheapest restaurant in Toronto. Called me superficial after I rejected him, because I posted something from thought catalog called "5 things men should do again - wear suits, etc". Believes people who wear suits are attention seekers... LMAO. Wants everyone in the world to look like a dirtbag just like him!! Actually said to me that he believes I go to the gym (in his exact words) "to look sexier" for attention. Time to delete this cheap, weird motherfucker.

Ben Lindo
I know you're doing fine, I Just like trying to help people maximize their potentials, and get off pharmaceuticals for better long term health, but like you said before you're not ready or its not a good time, that's ok I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, I just thought you might be setting up excuses or justifications in your mind maybe to avoid having to go through with it because it will be an unpleasant experience.
Just trying to explain why I mentioned anything, I wouldn't have kept talking about it but you seemed offended about it. LIke I said, I wish I could be more helpful if you do need anything let me know and if you want to try to help me with MY issues, I wouldn't mind. I'm tired hopefully this makes sense and isn't just pissing you off more
Today

7:50pm
Lisa Eff
Okay what I don't understand... is how you possibly start thinking that maybe I am setting up excuses in my mind to avoid withdrawal? You don't even know me... I never talk about anything to do with this stuff, with you. The most I have said is just told you what I was on & why. So you really have no idea any of the history behind it, what it's been like, how I feel about it... you are just completely clueless about this subject. So how can you possibly come to any conclusions.. or even have thoughts about this subject? You don't know me well enough, hardly at all in fact, and it's very intrusive of you to behave the way you are behaving.
And yes, I was offended that you came to absurd conclusions without having any background knowledge about me. You basically read the first link that came up on google and decided to lecture me about a subject I know far more about than you do. This stuff has been my life. So for you to actually try and act like you know anything about this stuff is just stupid. No offense but it's true. Of course I would get offended... cause you would't drop it when I asked you to. That's just rude. You are very insulting at times, and because I don't know if you are even aware, I try to be as patient as possible. But you crossed the threshold, into fully pissing me off.
It's frustrating because you make no sense... and you have no idea even when I try to explain things to you. Like when I asked you if you were reflecting your issues onto me possibly, because you just would not stop talking about stuff I did not want to talk about. Then you call me defensive and say that I am trying to find faults with you. LOL think about that for a second.
I didn't try to find anything about you at all. Those faults I listed, were things you blatantly told me before. I didn't make them up. YOU were the one who told ME! I was ASKING you if that was why. I didn't make anything up about you at any time. Anyway I hope this can be the last you mention about this subject please. It would be greatly appreciated!!
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