it's killing me. i cant survive without her. she's like family.

[newyorkcanwait]

i wish ashlie knew how badly its killing me & her family knowing shes in another country. her sister left her a message saying she HATES her & what shes done. its the awful truth of it all. my life is so fucked up right now & my best friend isnt here to get me through it. i cant stop crying. i need her. i dont wana type all the stuff thats screwed up right now like she wants me to. i need her. she doesnt get it. we all need her. my life is SO fucked up right now. i dont even it real meals anymore. i never stop crying. it sucks. & now ive gota start school without her in a week. im seriously thinking of transfering schools. theres nothing left to stick around for. i cant make it without my best friend. no matter what i say she acts like there nothing she can do about it. she can come home, thats for sure. im so sick of crying. im so sick of not eating. im so sick of dealing with all the shit thats going on in my life without her to talk to. im sick of having somebody to laugh with. i see movie previews & i think of which ones i'd see if she were still here. i drive by camelview and think of her. EVERYTHING reminds me of her. i cant live without her. shes my best friend & everything is REALLY fucked up now that she's gone. life is hell right now. honest to god its hell. nothing is going right anymore. i miss her & its killing me inside.

... EVERY song is a sad one, so it seems. everyone that comes on reminds me that shes really gone