(no subject)
I'm tired of explaining my situation to people. I'm not ready for the congratulations or the hugs or the sympathetic looks. But I know it's just all beginning. Everything's changing, I can't complain, really. But my life is totally flipping upside down, which I expected, but not this quickly. I can't do anything anymore. Even a simple night out with my friends has turned into a dreaded awkward question of, will I automatically be deemed DD of the night? Will I be assumed responsibility? I'm not responsible and I don't want to be. But I guess that's what I get, reversal of the roles.
Even my boyfriend is out there having the time of his life. I mean, is that really fair? He gets so drunk some times that he won't even talk to me. "He feels too bad." Well then don't get fucking shitfaced and it won't be a problem. What if I was the one having the time of my life, partying and getting loose? Everyone would be talking and worried. And I'd be the disappointment of the year.
I know this is the role I've taken on. I just wish friends, boyfriends, and family could be a little more unerstanding of how I feel. And the new position I'm in. Don't bring me around your drugs and alcohol, don't shove it in my face, don't joke about my soberness like I just got out of rehab. It's annoying and fucking hurtful.
ugh. maybe I should make some straight edge friends.
Even my boyfriend is out there having the time of his life. I mean, is that really fair? He gets so drunk some times that he won't even talk to me. "He feels too bad." Well then don't get fucking shitfaced and it won't be a problem. What if I was the one having the time of my life, partying and getting loose? Everyone would be talking and worried. And I'd be the disappointment of the year.
I know this is the role I've taken on. I just wish friends, boyfriends, and family could be a little more unerstanding of how I feel. And the new position I'm in. Don't bring me around your drugs and alcohol, don't shove it in my face, don't joke about my soberness like I just got out of rehab. It's annoying and fucking hurtful.
ugh. maybe I should make some straight edge friends.