(no subject)
So apparently depression is anger based. I learned this week that anxiety is based on fear and depression is anger thats been supressed and stuffed. Linda says I'm angry. This is strange for me because I've tried for a really long time to become the complete opposite of what my father is, (only to recently realize that we're more alike than I care to comment on.) One of those characteristics, is of course his anger. My dads a pretty rage-full guy. My homework is to do something physical to release my anger. I have catch phrases to mutter/think about when this happens, but the idea is to release all that stuff. This sounds good in theory, but honestly, I'm kinda scarred to go through with it. Like taking the giant step and actually going to therapy, this is another action that could easily open yet another tightly sealed pandora's box and set my life in uproar once again. Then on the other hand maybe I'll just feel better.
On another note, I wish that things didn't take time. I constantly feel this overwhelming push for things to happen now. I wish that when I make a decision, it was done. There wasn't any weigning, there wasn't any grey. I seriously am over the whole waivering thing. It sucks. Its not a fun or productive place to be. I can't see myself learning anything I don't already know by this procesess of emotionally going back and forth, so why does it happen?
On another note, I wish that things didn't take time. I constantly feel this overwhelming push for things to happen now. I wish that when I make a decision, it was done. There wasn't any weigning, there wasn't any grey. I seriously am over the whole waivering thing. It sucks. Its not a fun or productive place to be. I can't see myself learning anything I don't already know by this procesess of emotionally going back and forth, so why does it happen?