Giving up what we like the most

[newwaver83]

For those of you who know me well, you know that i love men. But not only do i love men, i am also obsessed with the idea of finding love. I am 21, and i still do not know what having love in a relationship is like. I don't know if i ever have been really in love and i know for a fact that i was never loved by any of my ex boyfriends (i see a

Comments

[sempei]

I thin you may have a hard time finding someone else who's looking for love at your age. Heck, even at my age it can be tough. Take me, for example - I am not at a point where I am looking to fall completely in love, mostly because I'm not entirely sure what kind of qualities I want in a lifelong partner; therefore I worry that if I were to meet 'the one,' I would have too many doubts to appreciate what I have.

That said, I think most people (including me) recognize that indescribable feeling when they find themselves falling in love, and it's wonderful. It's impossible to actively look for - to do so is not only futile but self-deceptive. However, there is no harm in continuing to meet people until you find one with whom that feeling develops spontaneously.

If you cannot allow yourself to step back and enjoy the process of meeting people and seeing what happens with them emotionally, it will be a miserable experience. And when you find love, instead of feeling the joy and excitement, you might feel more relief and entitlement. That's not fun for either partner.