"louder than sirens, louder than bells..."
I haven't posted much lately, mainly because I feel like not much of import is going on in my life...and also, likely, because I've been writing postcards right and left. My aim is to go down the list of people in my address book and write to everyone--especially to people I haven't yet written to, but had said I would. (Related to this, I will probably be PMing or emailing a few people to ask if I can mail them stuff, and/or if I have the proper addresses for them.)
I got to talk writer porn fountain pens with landline000 today, which was awesome fun, despite crossing into the valley of the shadow of temptation and coming out the other side a little lighter in the pocket... >_> I am not allowed to be in charge of my own money ever, ever, ever. I don't spend other peoples' money. I used to not even spend my own. But in the past few years, I've gotten terrible! >_< I need to get a job next semester. This semester, I need to start looking into jobs and internships and other programs that could eventually get me paid, and that won't make me want to hack my neck off with a dull ax.
SPEAKING of axes, Axe Cop is now back up and running after the flooding it no doubt received after NPR (or someone) gave them a ton of publicity which soon crashed the site. It's a hilarious, short series of web comics about Axe Cop, the creation of a 5-year-old boy. Said boy tells his dad stories about Axe Cop's adventures, and his dad then draws them and posts them on the site. Ah, I love stories told by children. ^___^
Tuesday after getting home from homeworking with the tykes (^__^) and a few doctor appointments, I finally outlined the story I want to submit (when thoroughly revised and expanded and revised again) to LT3. Writing has been really hard lately--or, rather, story writing. I'm putting way too many expectations on myself, and making the process full of drama instead of putting the drama on the page and letting the process just be a regular, habitual, daily, who-cares-what-your-mood-is practice. Hence, perhaps, the abundance of letters I've been sending out lately. I've written and sent 97 of the 100 I planned to send for my mission101 goal, and my Mission doesn't end until May 8th, 2011. I think I'll keep the list going and see how many I get by then...but in the meantime, personal writing has been better than story writing, productivity-wise. I hate feeling in the dark about process. I hate not having a plan. And thus far, for this story, that's what's been going on. Do I add another viewpoint? Do I widen the story timeframe? There's a lot more I can and do want to explore, but how to balance them? Am I letting the story percolate, or just terrified to start lest I Get It Wrong?
...I find it hilarious that the vocation I am most drawn to, writing, is by its nature full of decisions that need making, mistakes that will inevitably happen, starting and re-starting every day no matter how the day before went, the eventual judgment of others, and wallowing in uncertainty while your mind works out the details at its own pace. Writing as a profession, as a practice, is full of things I am afraid of. Decisions, failure and mistake-making, starting things, being judged, uncertainty--what the hell have I gotten myself into? And why, even seeing this list in front of me, do I not really care about those things, despite hating/fearing all of them?
And...why do I want to write story now?
My brain is hilarious. Also, I am a writer. I should probably put my typing where my mouth is now, eh? ^_~
♥
ps. My vampire class is awesome. We're currently reading Dracula. In my Hero class, which rosalyn_angel took with the same teacher at a different school, we're starting Malory. Both reading assignments are fun, if, in Malory's case, really slow-going (omg spelling of olde!).
I got to talk writer porn fountain pens with landline000 today, which was awesome fun, despite crossing into the valley of the shadow of temptation and coming out the other side a little lighter in the pocket... >_> I am not allowed to be in charge of my own money ever, ever, ever. I don't spend other peoples' money. I used to not even spend my own. But in the past few years, I've gotten terrible! >_< I need to get a job next semester. This semester, I need to start looking into jobs and internships and other programs that could eventually get me paid, and that won't make me want to hack my neck off with a dull ax.
SPEAKING of axes, Axe Cop is now back up and running after the flooding it no doubt received after NPR (or someone) gave them a ton of publicity which soon crashed the site. It's a hilarious, short series of web comics about Axe Cop, the creation of a 5-year-old boy. Said boy tells his dad stories about Axe Cop's adventures, and his dad then draws them and posts them on the site. Ah, I love stories told by children. ^___^
Tuesday after getting home from homeworking with the tykes (^__^) and a few doctor appointments, I finally outlined the story I want to submit (when thoroughly revised and expanded and revised again) to LT3. Writing has been really hard lately--or, rather, story writing. I'm putting way too many expectations on myself, and making the process full of drama instead of putting the drama on the page and letting the process just be a regular, habitual, daily, who-cares-what-your-mood-is practice. Hence, perhaps, the abundance of letters I've been sending out lately. I've written and sent 97 of the 100 I planned to send for my mission101 goal, and my Mission doesn't end until May 8th, 2011. I think I'll keep the list going and see how many I get by then...but in the meantime, personal writing has been better than story writing, productivity-wise. I hate feeling in the dark about process. I hate not having a plan. And thus far, for this story, that's what's been going on. Do I add another viewpoint? Do I widen the story timeframe? There's a lot more I can and do want to explore, but how to balance them? Am I letting the story percolate, or just terrified to start lest I Get It Wrong?
...I find it hilarious that the vocation I am most drawn to, writing, is by its nature full of decisions that need making, mistakes that will inevitably happen, starting and re-starting every day no matter how the day before went, the eventual judgment of others, and wallowing in uncertainty while your mind works out the details at its own pace. Writing as a profession, as a practice, is full of things I am afraid of. Decisions, failure and mistake-making, starting things, being judged, uncertainty--what the hell have I gotten myself into? And why, even seeing this list in front of me, do I not really care about those things, despite hating/fearing all of them?
And...why do I want to write story now?
My brain is hilarious. Also, I am a writer. I should probably put my typing where my mouth is now, eh? ^_~
♥
ps. My vampire class is awesome. We're currently reading Dracula. In my Hero class, which rosalyn_angel took with the same teacher at a different school, we're starting Malory. Both reading assignments are fun, if, in Malory's case, really slow-going (omg spelling of olde!).