When September Ends
Woke up on the right side of the bed
I'm in if you're down to get down tonight
Finally as of this evening I feel like I've gotten something done. It took an hour of therapy, two eleven hour nights of sleep, a good session yesterday that cheered me up and about four solid days of trying to take as good care of myself as possible, but I finished a wedding and several sessions and two loads of dishes and a few other random chores - no, make that a lot of other random chores. I've had energy nearly all day and a good bit to show for it! I've got my sights set on another good day of work tomorrow, especially since I'll be trying out my new flash kit in a boudoir session - I had to purchase a new flash after mine exploded in Cuba. I've been experimenting with a cool new gadget that makes flash lit scenes look more like daylight, which any photobug can tell you is a good thing.
I got a great inquiry today which I truly hope will result in a wonderful wedding experience. I can almost always tell now when something is going to be awesome from the beginning. Communication is huge. And speaking of communication...
Making my day a little less awesome, I had a run in on Facebook with some sanctimonious people (I love that word), which is starting to happen to me every day on Facebook. Usually I make no comment on the matter, but this particular issue was a little dearer to my heart, so I did this time. You know, years ago I stopped reading the news. And I used to joke that between LJ and Facebook I heard all the news. When I finally joined Facebook, that is. I was a latecomer to only that one piece of the internet, having been an early adopter of nearly everything else… I was suspicious of it from the get-go, and not for the usual reasons. I really don't give a crap if they sell my information to keep their massive service free, it's just numbers and spreadsheets, it's nothing personal, it's just business, and as a good business person I'd do the same in their place.
And we are leaving things unsaid
And we are breathing deeper instead
I noted today that Facebook is now actually worse than the news for my mood and thought processes, and I'm seriously considering quitting - but the problem of business compounds that issue. I keep in touch with other photographers and clients using Facebook. I could theoretically use other means, but Facebook has proven that it can make me money and good contacts that result in a better work experience. Unfortunately if I disable my account, my business pages are also something I'm disabling. So I need to use self-discipline. Yay. Starting in October I will be limiting my unsolicited Facebook time (I will talk to people who message me outside that) to 5 minutes a day and won't be using the friend feed anymore - if I want to know about a particular person I'm going to search straight from my page for their wall, and if they want me to know something, they'll need to post to my wall. I hate the news, I hate the opinion mongering, and frankly I think it's discouraging me from properly developing offline relationships. It's a poor substitute, as most people are aware. As with most of my thought processes, this comes from many recent sources. I read a couple of articles from people who've taken Facebook fasts. I grew tired of the insanity regarding Motion-312 on both sides, I hate when people talk about the American election, and don't even get me started on anything related to "rights and freedoms." And the last straw was tonight when, as per usual, someone was wrong on the internet. After spending about two hours feeling just livid about the ever-present ignorance on Facebook that drives me up the wall, I figured I only had control over myself, and I was going to change. So Facebook, which has recently been a huge part of my contact with the outside world (and a poor connector it is) is going to become a lesser part of my life and I am going to use that time on the dozens of other methods of connection - texting, calling, Skyping, meeting in person, and travelling to meet in person. I think I shall be better for it.
Of course, this only serves to underscore just how different I still am from the rest of the world, even after having softened some of my opinions over the years. I continue to be radical, I'm just quieter about it, until I am on even ground with someone who wants to hear what I have to say. Because I do not have the sign language for deaf ears. There are many more eloquent than I who do a better job of that - my anger gets in the way of my expression more often than not.
Innocence can never last
Wake me up when September ends
I didn't come across anything that re-balanced my faith in humanity today, so I'm just going to go to bed and try to relax. Just two more sleeps 'til Paulmas!