Looking back on Urbana
I gave a speech tonight at the IVCF Saskatchewan Banquet in front of 200 people about my Urbana experience. I got a lot of respect from people for saying what I did, and I feel that it was a good quality speech.
If you're interested in Urbana, a week-long missions conference I attended in December and blogged about the whole time, click here.
My experience at Urbana in December solidified something I already knew - it's not the event program or hearing special speakers that can be relied on to change me, it's listening to the voice of God. All of you may not enjoy what I have to say tonight, but I believe it's what I should say. I would, however, recommend Urbana to anyone as an opportunity to open their eyes and change their life. During the conference I found a number of lasting, valuable friendships, and was challenged through them to better understand myself, to deal with my problems immediately regardless of how daunting they might seem, and to understand that the sins of bitterness and unforgiveness in a victim are just as much a sin as those of the person who mistreated them. Through hearing more about the lives of those truly called to missions overseas, I better understood that I was not. Through talking to an officer of the Salvation Army, I was confronted with the realization that neither his calling to the poor, nor mine to the world of intellectuals and business were more special in the kingdom of God - both of us were of equal value to the One who called us. I felt then, and still feel called to mass apology for wrongs done by church people in the name of Jesus, both past and present.
But there was one event by far that had an extremely profound effect on me - the experience of feeling as though an entire day spent discussing AIDS was ineffectually narrow. They offered a crowd of impressionable youth a picture that excluded the power of God and replaced him with humanitarianism - plans to give people hope, but not a future. I spent the day in a state of agitation, feeling as though they were presenting a distorted picture of God. That evening just as I had been profoundly disappointed by the program, they asked us to petition God with something beyond what we could imagine, beyond what we thought we had faith for - and my inward response was cynical. In my spirit I said, "Lord, what is beyond what I can believe is that you could use this ignorant, shallow church to accomplish anything great." That night as I walked to my hotel, I was angry. The Ephesians verse we'd come upon that morning kept running in my head - "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." So I didn't. I dealt with it, with the help of a friend and a lot of prayer. Then, with the peace of God, I slept. The next morning in our Bible Study we covered Ephesians 3:10 - which says that God's intent was that the church should be a representation of His wisdom to the powers of light and darkness! As our study leader Al Anderson said, "It's like God was saying, "See all these people who can't get it together? That's what I'm going to use to prove that I am God."
In that moment I realized that just as some people clearly believed that God wasn't tough enough for AIDS, I believed he wasn't powerful enough to really show himself through his Body - and that had to change. If I was going to believe that God could heal a fatal disease with impact worldwide, I had to believe that he could change fatal apathy, hypocrisy, and ignorance. So I made the descision like Joshua did- regardless of what other people choose to believe, regardless of disappointing experiences, as for my life, I will use it to serve God "with all faithfulness." [Josh. 24] Since Urbana, many things about the way I conduct my life have changed. I am more loving, more responsible, and less apathetic than I have ever been. I hope that in my lifetime, my prayers will be answered, and I will see the people of God revered for being a mirror for not only the compassion of God, but his wisdom, power, and perfect plan as well. May God bless all of you richly - and I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
At some point this afternoon, I decided what to wear and went off to the University. Getting out of our back gate has become less treacherous and more to the tune of slight annoyance at the puddles and the mud...
Aaron picked me up from campus, and we went to Forest Grove and took tickets together. Just like last year, only this year I got to speak. My table, #12, included a few IVCF people that I was glad to get to know better, and one guy named Ed that's OLD and a half, and had the stories to prove it. He was a really neat guy.
Ate supper, did my speech, listened to other people. I really prefaced the speaker for the evening well... He ended up talking about some of the "wrongs done in the name of Jesus" that I mentioned... I met him after. He said after my speech he was nervous about what I would think of his message, that I might think, "Man, the same old thing again." Actually I found it to be a great challenge, especially after what I said. He mentioned that he'd been to Urbana and had had some similar experiences. It was really neat how God co-ordinates stuff... A lot of people thanked me for what I'd said, in different ways. "It was a good criticism/speech, and thanks for the warning - but you came full circle. It was really effective. Made me think." Stuff like that. When Aaron drove me home, he told me the only part he didn't like was the disclaimer. I grinned. It says a lot about his character I guess - honest, straightforward people who can't stand the social dance don't really like seeing it. I said the disclaimer itself couldn't offend anyone, but the lack of it might. He agreed after some thought... We had a lot of really good conversations today, especially about Japan. I asked if a major part of his To Do List would be, "Not dying." He laughed and said, "Definitely." I told him I figured whenever an earthquake or tsunami or whatnot hit the news he should just send us all an email saying, "NOT DEAD YET." We had a good laugh over that. I'm gonna miss that kid when he leaves. A few months yet, though.
Then I came home and started working on stuff for Passion to Glory.
If you're interested in Urbana, a week-long missions conference I attended in December and blogged about the whole time, click here.
My experience at Urbana in December solidified something I already knew - it's not the event program or hearing special speakers that can be relied on to change me, it's listening to the voice of God. All of you may not enjoy what I have to say tonight, but I believe it's what I should say. I would, however, recommend Urbana to anyone as an opportunity to open their eyes and change their life. During the conference I found a number of lasting, valuable friendships, and was challenged through them to better understand myself, to deal with my problems immediately regardless of how daunting they might seem, and to understand that the sins of bitterness and unforgiveness in a victim are just as much a sin as those of the person who mistreated them. Through hearing more about the lives of those truly called to missions overseas, I better understood that I was not. Through talking to an officer of the Salvation Army, I was confronted with the realization that neither his calling to the poor, nor mine to the world of intellectuals and business were more special in the kingdom of God - both of us were of equal value to the One who called us. I felt then, and still feel called to mass apology for wrongs done by church people in the name of Jesus, both past and present.
But there was one event by far that had an extremely profound effect on me - the experience of feeling as though an entire day spent discussing AIDS was ineffectually narrow. They offered a crowd of impressionable youth a picture that excluded the power of God and replaced him with humanitarianism - plans to give people hope, but not a future. I spent the day in a state of agitation, feeling as though they were presenting a distorted picture of God. That evening just as I had been profoundly disappointed by the program, they asked us to petition God with something beyond what we could imagine, beyond what we thought we had faith for - and my inward response was cynical. In my spirit I said, "Lord, what is beyond what I can believe is that you could use this ignorant, shallow church to accomplish anything great." That night as I walked to my hotel, I was angry. The Ephesians verse we'd come upon that morning kept running in my head - "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." So I didn't. I dealt with it, with the help of a friend and a lot of prayer. Then, with the peace of God, I slept. The next morning in our Bible Study we covered Ephesians 3:10 - which says that God's intent was that the church should be a representation of His wisdom to the powers of light and darkness! As our study leader Al Anderson said, "It's like God was saying, "See all these people who can't get it together? That's what I'm going to use to prove that I am God."
In that moment I realized that just as some people clearly believed that God wasn't tough enough for AIDS, I believed he wasn't powerful enough to really show himself through his Body - and that had to change. If I was going to believe that God could heal a fatal disease with impact worldwide, I had to believe that he could change fatal apathy, hypocrisy, and ignorance. So I made the descision like Joshua did- regardless of what other people choose to believe, regardless of disappointing experiences, as for my life, I will use it to serve God "with all faithfulness." [Josh. 24] Since Urbana, many things about the way I conduct my life have changed. I am more loving, more responsible, and less apathetic than I have ever been. I hope that in my lifetime, my prayers will be answered, and I will see the people of God revered for being a mirror for not only the compassion of God, but his wisdom, power, and perfect plan as well. May God bless all of you richly - and I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
At some point this afternoon, I decided what to wear and went off to the University. Getting out of our back gate has become less treacherous and more to the tune of slight annoyance at the puddles and the mud...
Aaron picked me up from campus, and we went to Forest Grove and took tickets together. Just like last year, only this year I got to speak. My table, #12, included a few IVCF people that I was glad to get to know better, and one guy named Ed that's OLD and a half, and had the stories to prove it. He was a really neat guy.
Ate supper, did my speech, listened to other people. I really prefaced the speaker for the evening well... He ended up talking about some of the "wrongs done in the name of Jesus" that I mentioned... I met him after. He said after my speech he was nervous about what I would think of his message, that I might think, "Man, the same old thing again." Actually I found it to be a great challenge, especially after what I said. He mentioned that he'd been to Urbana and had had some similar experiences. It was really neat how God co-ordinates stuff... A lot of people thanked me for what I'd said, in different ways. "It was a good criticism/speech, and thanks for the warning - but you came full circle. It was really effective. Made me think." Stuff like that. When Aaron drove me home, he told me the only part he didn't like was the disclaimer. I grinned. It says a lot about his character I guess - honest, straightforward people who can't stand the social dance don't really like seeing it. I said the disclaimer itself couldn't offend anyone, but the lack of it might. He agreed after some thought... We had a lot of really good conversations today, especially about Japan. I asked if a major part of his To Do List would be, "Not dying." He laughed and said, "Definitely." I told him I figured whenever an earthquake or tsunami or whatnot hit the news he should just send us all an email saying, "NOT DEAD YET." We had a good laugh over that. I'm gonna miss that kid when he leaves. A few months yet, though.
Then I came home and started working on stuff for Passion to Glory.