And his biker queen

[newredshoes]

skygiants pointed me to a leaked trailer for the new Cymbeline movie, starring (sigh) Ed Harris, Penn Badgley, Ethan Hawke and Milla Jovovich. (I'm excited about Milla, but she will be good in spite of absolutely everything else this film is doing.) This movie is done by the guy who directed the gritty Ethan Hawke Hamlet, and this looks like more of the same, only worse. It's being billed as "SHAKESPEARE'S UNDISCOVERED MASTERPIECE," which, dude, no, the Victorians loved Imogen and considered her a heroine on a level with Cordelia and the other greats. And since it was instrumental in Tom Hiddleston's rise to fame, the same six Tumblr posts available from that production get a lot of rotation, and just. Dude. Ugh.

It's also about bikers versus crooked cops. And... the trailer gave no indication that any of the women I love are even in this movie. Imogen got one line ("Revenged? How shall I be revenged?") delivered in a mumbly, passionless affect. Ethan Hawke is Iachimo, and they bill him as "starring." DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

Except I already did, a little, at 1:30 this morning.

So I'm going to focus on the better-than-coffee shop AU, which is characters must put on a high school production of Hamlet.
adiva_calandia and I were Hollow Crownifying it last night. What did we decide? (That's... me trying to remember. Hang on.)

Harry as Laertes, of course. Because banging around and roaring and being rash and furious and dying onstage? He could manage that.

Kate as Ophelia, so they can have inappropriate sexual tension on and offstage; it seems obvious that she would have too little patience with Hamlet to play Hamlet herself. Gertrude was another option, in that "all the men she loves screw her over" way that works... so well with both plays.

(Northumberland as Polonius, then. Hey, that works!)

Richard as Hamlet, obvs. Bolingbroke as Claudius (or Horatio; that was up in the air)

Hal is probably the gravedigger, which he would milk for all its worth (and steal the show, Porter-in-Macbeth-style); if this was R&G Are Dead, you'd better believe he'd be the Player King.

I suppose you could make Poins Horatio, and of course Falstaff could be another gravedigger, or maybe -- who is it that Robin Williams plays in the Branagh version? "A hit, a very palpable hit!", right? Hamlet is not My Play, so it's been a while, but yeah, totally open to suggestions in the comments.

Meanwhile, I... have more transcribing to do. And a PowerPoint to half-create. Ugh, we might go see Frozen tonight, though, so I guess there's that to look forward to...?

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