Dangerous, dangerous pastimes
Here's how it happened: someone posted the three-sentence AU meme, and I posted it on Tumblr. And then I stayed up until midnight, because fandom is amazing and brilliant and oh my gosh, are these things fun.
cactusrabbit asked: You're taking requests? Hooray! In that case... Sif/Loki (lol, of course) police!au. He's the good cop. She's the bad cop. “Sif,” he said patiently, “be reasonable. He’ll give out well before you get anything from him.”
Loki wasn’t sure which he enjoyed more, the expression of their charge as he wondered who had his best interests at heart, or the promises Sif’s face made as her expression grew stormy and she backed away to pace.
sairobee said: Loki/Sif (OBVIOUSLY), WWII. Where is up to you! (… England? I could deal with England.)“Let me be certain of this: in order to keep it pinned, you must leave your hair long, so you might keep it out of the way.”
Sif loosened the knot of her tie and leaned closer. “I trust you’ll make merry with such a fine contradiction."
wearyatywenty asked: Sif/Loki; Long as f**k AU: Loki becomes king. He marries Sif. Follows film canon. Sif deals with the aftermath of being Queen of Asgard to a dead/missing king. Does she get to keep the throne? Is it given to Thor, or back to Odin. Or (following some different royal/family traditions/customs) does she marry Thor to stay Queen?“My lady, you know well my respect for you, and for all members of your family.” Sif eyed the guards stony-faced in quick reach of her chambers. “And I knew my husband who was King as none of you did; let us negotiate, then, who will answer in his name, and which part of Loki you would see still on the throne.”
cosmictuesdays said: That “Loki knows he was adopted” AU.“You are a terrible strategist,” he told her, as their knees touched and the wind blew through the trees. “You’d be far better off pursuing their real son.”
“You’re nowhere near as smart as you act,” she replied; his lips were every bit as warm as she expected.
orangetigger asked: Oh interesting idea! How 'bout Magnus/Linda at college(university) she's an artist and he's a geek/freak Linda truly should have known better, but she was deep in the first flush, and everything seemed possible, even her dad knowing what to do when receiving a text. He called her back as they were waiting for the previews to start; she let it go to voicemail and slipped her hand over her new infatuation’s knee.
“Who was that?” said Magnus, and, after blinking at her hand for a moment, offered her the popcorn.
bechedor79 asked: Loki/Sif, Harry Potter universe/Hogwarts AU“Personally I find this Voldemort fellow an uninspiring boor. The very least he could be is elegant in his ominous and evil plot to take over the world.”
Sif got no answer when she asked what Loki would do better.
roxanneritchi said: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES. i possibly nabbed this one from rawles. sorry, rawles! BUT I PROMPTED IT TO HER TO PROMPT YOU SO REALLY I AM JUST STEALING IT BACK OK. that’s fair!!“I can get you what you really want,” he panted; “I can get you a ship.”
Sif kept her finger on the trigger, but her smile was a flickering thing. “How do you know what I most want?”
somehomothings asked: SIF/LOKI!! PIRATES!!! tbh i am still bowled over by other people's awesome au prompts.“You’ve a face that was always meant to hang,” she growled, leaning hard into her sword.
Loki pushed himself closer, their shoulders nearly touching. “Perhaps I’d submit, if your hands tied the noose.”
ala-away asked: Sif and Jane bond over dating Asgardian princes.“I just didn’t expect for there to be so much training involved!” Jane eyes Sif, who is laughing heartily, with a touch of chagrin.
“I shouldn’t worry,” says Sif, still chuckling; “Thor breaks things in great quantity, but Loki breaks them in scale.”
bellebonnesage said: Sif and Loki in Middle Earth.“They were much kinder to us before they checked our ears,” he insisted, as Sif groaned yet again.
“They were infinitely kinder before you glamored Legolas’s hair blue,” she said, and Loki looked almost offended.
“And how is anyone sure that wasn’t Gandalf?”
bechedor79 asked: I have a love/hate relationship with RPF, but I'll be brave: Tom/Jaimie, breakup/Tom-has-a-new-girlfriend angst AU (is RPF by definition AU?).The chili sauce is past its expiration date. How he could eat it with eggs was beyond her. Because she’s conscientious, she shakes every bit of out out the bottle, washes it with the tap on full, and flinches when the glass hits the empties in her bin.
orangetigger asked for Jane and Loki, on a beach!“This isn’t entirely a pastime in Asgard,” he said, his brow furrowed, “and I still can’t conceive why you are so fond of it on Earth.”
“Be that as it may, Darcy will share state secrets if we don’t help her win this contest.” Jane held out the plastic shovel, and Loki, resigned, began to reinforce the sides of their sand sculpture.
ala-away asked: Sif/Loki in Ancient Rome.“Of course I am never dour among the barbarians.” She slipped off her helmet, and set it aside, the crest still nodding. “I need but a road, since all roads lead to you.”
bellebonnesage asked: Sif and Loki have breakfast in bed.Sif likes using too much jam when she slathers it on her scones; Loki tries to brush away the crumbs when they cascade onto the sheets.
Sif takes quick sips of her coffee (cream and honey, a touch of cinnamon too); Loki nurses his (black, bitter, thick enough to stand a spoon).
Sif feeds Loki raspberries in crème fraiche; Loki likes it, but he likes the taste of Sif much more.
cactusrabbit asked: Can I request another one? Adult film industry au! Sif's a director, Loki's her assistant that holds everything on the shoot together while Sif makes famously feminist sexy movies.“Strawberries Wild, no boost, add peanut butter, Power size, of course.”
Sif took the smoothie without so much as a glance at Loki, though her fingers brushed his wrist, which was enough. “Volstagg, lights, please - let’s get this UST rolling!”
ishipalot asked: Tom and Jaimie and the aftermath of learning the waltzKenneth found himself forced to take Tom aside one morning halfway through the second page of the coronation scene. “Tom, look, I understand dancing between takes. But you must realize that Alex will kill me with her hands if you or Jaimie gets so much as a scratch on that close-up armor.”
In conclusion:
This was originally posted on Dreamwidth, where it has
comments. Feel free to drop in using OpenID (how to do that).
cactusrabbit asked: You're taking requests? Hooray! In that case... Sif/Loki (lol, of course) police!au. He's the good cop. She's the bad cop. “Sif,” he said patiently, “be reasonable. He’ll give out well before you get anything from him.”
Loki wasn’t sure which he enjoyed more, the expression of their charge as he wondered who had his best interests at heart, or the promises Sif’s face made as her expression grew stormy and she backed away to pace.
sairobee said: Loki/Sif (OBVIOUSLY), WWII. Where is up to you! (… England? I could deal with England.)“Let me be certain of this: in order to keep it pinned, you must leave your hair long, so you might keep it out of the way.”
Sif loosened the knot of her tie and leaned closer. “I trust you’ll make merry with such a fine contradiction."
wearyatywenty asked: Sif/Loki; Long as f**k AU: Loki becomes king. He marries Sif. Follows film canon. Sif deals with the aftermath of being Queen of Asgard to a dead/missing king. Does she get to keep the throne? Is it given to Thor, or back to Odin. Or (following some different royal/family traditions/customs) does she marry Thor to stay Queen?“My lady, you know well my respect for you, and for all members of your family.” Sif eyed the guards stony-faced in quick reach of her chambers. “And I knew my husband who was King as none of you did; let us negotiate, then, who will answer in his name, and which part of Loki you would see still on the throne.”
cosmictuesdays said: That “Loki knows he was adopted” AU.“You are a terrible strategist,” he told her, as their knees touched and the wind blew through the trees. “You’d be far better off pursuing their real son.”
“You’re nowhere near as smart as you act,” she replied; his lips were every bit as warm as she expected.
orangetigger asked: Oh interesting idea! How 'bout Magnus/Linda at college(university) she's an artist and he's a geek/freak Linda truly should have known better, but she was deep in the first flush, and everything seemed possible, even her dad knowing what to do when receiving a text. He called her back as they were waiting for the previews to start; she let it go to voicemail and slipped her hand over her new infatuation’s knee.
“Who was that?” said Magnus, and, after blinking at her hand for a moment, offered her the popcorn.
bechedor79 asked: Loki/Sif, Harry Potter universe/Hogwarts AU“Personally I find this Voldemort fellow an uninspiring boor. The very least he could be is elegant in his ominous and evil plot to take over the world.”
Sif got no answer when she asked what Loki would do better.
roxanneritchi said: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES. i possibly nabbed this one from rawles. sorry, rawles! BUT I PROMPTED IT TO HER TO PROMPT YOU SO REALLY I AM JUST STEALING IT BACK OK. that’s fair!!“I can get you what you really want,” he panted; “I can get you a ship.”
Sif kept her finger on the trigger, but her smile was a flickering thing. “How do you know what I most want?”
somehomothings asked: SIF/LOKI!! PIRATES!!! tbh i am still bowled over by other people's awesome au prompts.“You’ve a face that was always meant to hang,” she growled, leaning hard into her sword.
Loki pushed himself closer, their shoulders nearly touching. “Perhaps I’d submit, if your hands tied the noose.”
ala-away asked: Sif and Jane bond over dating Asgardian princes.“I just didn’t expect for there to be so much training involved!” Jane eyes Sif, who is laughing heartily, with a touch of chagrin.
“I shouldn’t worry,” says Sif, still chuckling; “Thor breaks things in great quantity, but Loki breaks them in scale.”
bellebonnesage said: Sif and Loki in Middle Earth.“They were much kinder to us before they checked our ears,” he insisted, as Sif groaned yet again.
“They were infinitely kinder before you glamored Legolas’s hair blue,” she said, and Loki looked almost offended.
“And how is anyone sure that wasn’t Gandalf?”
bechedor79 asked: I have a love/hate relationship with RPF, but I'll be brave: Tom/Jaimie, breakup/Tom-has-a-new-girlfriend angst AU (is RPF by definition AU?).The chili sauce is past its expiration date. How he could eat it with eggs was beyond her. Because she’s conscientious, she shakes every bit of out out the bottle, washes it with the tap on full, and flinches when the glass hits the empties in her bin.
orangetigger asked for Jane and Loki, on a beach!“This isn’t entirely a pastime in Asgard,” he said, his brow furrowed, “and I still can’t conceive why you are so fond of it on Earth.”
“Be that as it may, Darcy will share state secrets if we don’t help her win this contest.” Jane held out the plastic shovel, and Loki, resigned, began to reinforce the sides of their sand sculpture.
ala-away asked: Sif/Loki in Ancient Rome.“Of course I am never dour among the barbarians.” She slipped off her helmet, and set it aside, the crest still nodding. “I need but a road, since all roads lead to you.”
bellebonnesage asked: Sif and Loki have breakfast in bed.Sif likes using too much jam when she slathers it on her scones; Loki tries to brush away the crumbs when they cascade onto the sheets.
Sif takes quick sips of her coffee (cream and honey, a touch of cinnamon too); Loki nurses his (black, bitter, thick enough to stand a spoon).
Sif feeds Loki raspberries in crème fraiche; Loki likes it, but he likes the taste of Sif much more.
cactusrabbit asked: Can I request another one? Adult film industry au! Sif's a director, Loki's her assistant that holds everything on the shoot together while Sif makes famously feminist sexy movies.“Strawberries Wild, no boost, add peanut butter, Power size, of course.”
Sif took the smoothie without so much as a glance at Loki, though her fingers brushed his wrist, which was enough. “Volstagg, lights, please - let’s get this UST rolling!”
ishipalot asked: Tom and Jaimie and the aftermath of learning the waltzKenneth found himself forced to take Tom aside one morning halfway through the second page of the coronation scene. “Tom, look, I understand dancing between takes. But you must realize that Alex will kill me with her hands if you or Jaimie gets so much as a scratch on that close-up armor.”
In conclusion:
This was originally posted on Dreamwidth, where it has
comments. Feel free to drop in using OpenID (how to do that).