SERIES 4 SPOILERS LOTS OF!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Title: I don’t think he’s wrong.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Doctor notices his half human self and Jack are not where he left them.
Pairings: Jack/Ten, Jack/10.5, Ten/Rose, Rose/10.5, DoctorDonna/Jack (Only mentioned in passing. Very briefly.) DoctorDonna/Rose (same as before, very brief and it isn’t what you are thinking I promise.), Jack/Ianto (Acknowledged… albeit lecherously.)
Spoilers for: DWS4. End of. So yeah. Don’t read if you haven’t seen it. You have been warned.
Warnings: voyeurism, angst, slight warpedness.
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The Doctor looked round the Tardis console at his friends, smiling, almost sadly. Sarah Jane was chatting animatedly with Rose and Martha. Mickey was standing with Jackie, smiling at how happy Rose was. Donna was clicking away at a monitor, her phone wedged between her ear and her shoulder while she talked to her Grandad on the other end.
And Jack… the Doctor started. Jack wasn’t there. Neither, he noticed with another start, was his half-human look-a-like. Where were they, and when had they left? Why hadn’t he noticed them leaving? He turned around, checking that they weren’t behind him, mentally asking the Tardis where they were. He got a sort of half snigger in return, assuming of course that a Tardis could snigger. He probed for more information, as the “snigger” wasn't overly helpful. She directed him in the direction of Jack’s old room.
Oh shit.
He slipped out of the console room, closing the door quietly before dashing up the corridor. The Tardis was persistently unco-operative, moving corridors, meaning the Doctor took a lot longer to get to where he was trying to go.
When he eventually managed it he didn’t even knock, he just flung the door open. The sight that greeted him was weird. Very, very weird. Even for him. Jack was naked, lying on his back in the middle of a very large bed (presumably provided by the Tardis). The half-human Doctor, also naked, was on top of him, balls deep in the Immortal’s arse, their bodies pressed together as they kissed passionately.
The Doctor paused mid-thrust and the two broke their kiss, looking to the door.
“Erm…” said the Doctor, spluttering in the doorway.
Jack grinned. “Told you he’d notice,” he said, looking up at his partner. He shifted his hips, bringing the half-Time Lord’s attention back to himself. The Doctor moaned and shuddered.
The Doctor in the doorway’s eyes widened as the watched himself thrust shallowly in front of him. It was oddly arousing, like watching some lewd fantasy playing out before his eyes. It was however, reality, not a dream, and therefore weird.
“Excuse me,” he said, struggling to get the words out, “do you mind?” He was talking to Jack, who was arching beneath the other Doctor as the sucked gently on his pulse point.
“Not really,” gasped the human, “why, do you?”
“Feeling a little abused yes,” the Doctor in the doorway admitted. “I mean honestly Jack, do you have to abuse the fact that there is more than one of me?”
“Well, that’s the thing,” the other Doctor replied, “There is one fundamental difference between me and you. I don’t feel his wrongness. His presence as a constant yes, but I don’t think he’s wrong. You do.” He looked up at the original, his cock still pressing against Jack’s prostate, making him keen beneath him.
“Not by choice! I’d give anything not to feel like that!” he cried, taking a step into the room.
“But you do. I don’t,” the other said gently.
The Doctor stopped, tears welling up in his eyes. He was jealous of himself. It was very confusing, watching Jack in such ecstasy, at his own ministrations, and yet it not being him at all. He’d give anything to be like that other Doctor, not to be repulsed by the stunning human lying on the bed. He’d give anything to be the one thrusting into him, making him cry out his name. He’d give anything to be able to love the man as easily and completely as the other one did. It would make what he knew came next so much easier. Because then maybe, just maybe, one of them he could keep. Maybe one day Jack would come back to him and stay forever.
He turned away and stumbled from the room, unable to stand in that room full of pheromones, a heady mix of Time Lord and fifty-first century human. Himself and Jack. He stormed to his room, slamming the door and collapsing onto his own bed, the tears streaming down his face.
He sobbed deep, heart wrenching sobs as he wished that things were different, knowing that he was wasn’t going to get any of the things he so desperately craved. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. Everything was wrong. Everything. Not just Jack. Everything.
He heard a soft knock and looked up to see Donna watching him sadly. She’d felt his pain, her Time Lord mind connecting to his and knowing he was miserable and in need of a friend. She walked over, sitting down beside him, wrapping her arms around him as he cried into her shoulder. She whispered soothingly to him in Gallifreyan, something he’d missed so much. It had been so long since he’d heard another talk to him this way.
He felt an inquisitive press against his mind and showed her everything. Jack and his other self. Him telling Jack he was wrong in that abandoned warehouse, waiting for Martha to come back with the chips. Losing Rose at Canary Wharf. The Time War. How Jack was going to leave because he had somewhere else to be, and someone else to be with. Losing Rose again, because his other self needed her to make him better. How his other self would be perfect for her because he would grow old with her. How he was perfect for Jack because he didn’t think he was wrong. How Martha was going to leave because she had her fiancé Tom. How Sarah Jane was going to go too, because she had a son. Mickey wouldn’t stay because he could never watch Rose with the Doctor. Jackie had her life in the parallel world. Everyone was going to leave him again. He left out the part that Donna would be going too. That he’d have to take her memories of him, wipe her mind of everything to save her, because the Time Lord mind would kill her. She didn’t need to know that just yet.
She stroked his hair, still whispering soothingly. “It’s ok,” she said, “I can stay. I’m not leaving you.” She didn’t know how wrong she was. The Doctor sniffed, pulling himself up. “Yeah.” He smiled, a little sadly.
“I know it’s not the same. I know how much you love them. 'Cause I can feel it. It’s in your head, so it’s in mine. Which is a bit odd, 'cause while I can see Fly-Boy’s hot, Rose ain’t my cup of tea, if you catch my drift. Anyway. Maybe I can help a little. Come here.” She turned, sitting cross-legged so she was facing him, motioning for him to do the same. He did so, wondering what she was going to do.
“Close your eyes.”
He obeyed, allowing them to fall closed.
“Relax. I’m not going do anything bad.”
He tried, taking a few deep breaths, letting the tension in his posture go a bit.
He felt her fingertips on his temples, and the gentle probing again. He let her in; closing doors he didn’t want her to look in. These were few and far between, given that she had it all in her head anyway, but it was the principal of the thing.
She was looking for something in particular, dipping into things and closing doors when what she wanted wasn’t behind them. He felt her small triumph when she found it after several minutes of searching. She had been looking for the part of him that viewed Jack as wrong. She began messing around with the links to the rest of his brain in this section, blocking the signals and putting the voice that screamed “WRONG!” whenever Jack was near by in a box. It took a while as the Doctor’s biology worked against what it believed was a defence mechanism being tampered with, but Donna was persistent in her efforts, continuing to blockade the area until the little voice could no longer be heard. Then she shut the door, locking it and taking the proverbial key with her when she left his mind.
She removed her fingers from his temple and he opened his eyes. He could feel Jack’s presence as a Universal Constant, but not the normal terrible feeling that normally accompanied it. It was more like a “I’m here” sort of feeling, like Jack was simply broadcasting his presence. He smiled as he realised what she had done for him. “Oh, Donna Noble. You are amazing. You really are.” He laughed, pulling her into a tight hug.
“You’ve given everyone so much. It’s time someone gave you something back,” she replied, returning the hug. “Now come on. Dry those tears and go blow your nose, before someone notices you’re missing.” She pulled back and directed him in the direction of the toilet. He smiled again, walking into the bathroom to wash his face.
When he got to the control room, he noticed Jack and his other self talking on the other side of the console room, Donna’s stern eye on both of them. Rose walked over to him, wrapping her slender arms around him. “You’ve no idea how much I missed you,” she mumbled into his jacket.
“Not as much as this lonely old man missed you,” he replied.
“Wanna bet? I talked about nothing but you and how I wanted to get back to you,” she smiled. “I’m a stubborn London girl.”
This sent a pang through the Doctor’s hearts, because he knew that she was going to have to back there, but with him, the other him, this time it might be easier if she had something to stay for. He covered the pain, smiling down at her. “You ask Martha. She always felt second best to you.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. I was forever comparing her to you. Not consciously of course, but I did. That’s why she left in the end. Didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t the girl I wanted. That it was never her name on my lips.”
Rose smiled, “You talked about me?”
“All the time! I never shut up about you. I think the thing that got her goat the most was that I took her to New New York. She accused me of being on the rebound when I let slip that I’d been here with you. That and the fact that due to your impromptu departure, all of your stuff was all over the Tardis, and she kept coming across it. And I wouldn’t let her move anything a, cause I was still hurting from loosing you. She adored me. And I was oblivious.” He paused. “What is it with you bloody humans? Why do I keep attracting you? Anyway… all she could see was me rejecting her, so she left. Donna was different. She loved the life, and she just wanted to be my friend. Nothing romantic. She encouraged me to talk about you. Loved to hear about you. Said I had a happy look when I reminisced about you, just for a bit.”
He rambled on, with her content to listen, just to cover up the fact that his hearts were breaking in his chest, knowing he was going to go through all this again.
She smiled her pretty smile, giving him one last squeeze, before going back to conversation with Martha and Sarah Jane.
Donna threw him an encouraging smile, mouthing “working?” nodding at Jack. He smiled, nodding. It was working.
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When Jack sidled past him later, brushing against him ever so gently, it sent a thrill through his body and he pushed back, straightening up and bringing more of his body into contact with Jack. With the ‘wrong’ feeling gone, he could concentrate on how right Jack felt against him.
He could feel Jack’s shocked pause, as though unsure that he was behind the Doctor he thought he was. The Doctor checked no one was watching and slipped a hand back, brushing it against Jack’s upper thigh. Jack started and the Doctor smiled as the Captain moved away, obviously a little confused.
The Doctor cast a look over his shoulder and caught Jack staring at him. Jack’s eyebrows went up. The Doctor flicked his own up in a way that was positively flirtatious, before turning away and carrying on messing with the Tardis controls.
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When it was time for them to go, Jack pulled the Doctor into a corridor off the control room, giving him a weird look.
“What was that before?”
“What?” the Doctor asked innocently.
“Feeling me up and throwing lecherous looks. Could have sworn that was something I did.” Jack replied, not buying the feigned innocence.
“Well, given my opposite number’s response to you, you know I like you - ”
“But I’m wrong to you.” Jack interrupted.
“You were. Donna had a rummage in my head an blocked off the part of my consciousness. She could see it was making me miserable, so she fixed it. You were never the problem between you and me. It was always me.” He explained.
“So now I have two Doctors who don’t think I’m wrong.” Jack’s contemplatively dirty look said it all. “Would that be weird?” he asked.
“Very. Not that it matters, you won’t see him again.” The Doctor, laughing a little before turning serious.
“Oh yeah? How come?” There was a defensive note to Jack’s voice.
“He’s going to the parallel world with Rose.” It was costing him to say this out loud. “He’s dangerous. Full of anger and hate. Bit like I was I first met Rose. She made me so much better. She can fix him in the same way. And he’s going to age.” The Doctor paused.
Jack twigged. “You’re giving her the life she could never have with you. He’ll grow old with her. And he won’t have to watch her grow old like you would.”
“Yeah. They don’t know it yet. So you can’t say. I’m not gonna say till we get to the parallel world. Rose will revolt. He won’t want to be in one place. I hate being stuck. He’ll have to get a mortgage. It will be a mortifying possibility for him. Rose said it once on some planet when we thought that we’d lost the Tardis. I was convinced my life was over.” He smiled at the memory. Her singsong voice, then the suggestion that maybe they could get one together. Well he would remember that. Now they could get one together. “They’ll revolt.” He said, coming back to the conversation. “There will be a mutiny in my Tardis.” He half smiled at the idea.
Jack smiled, but there was a seriousness to it. “You know I have to go back don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah I know. Which one is it?”
“Ianto.” Jack replied. “Looks very good in a suit, and out of it. Bit like you really.”
“Bit of a fetish Captain?”
“And then some. You wouldn’t think it to look at him, but so does he. Maybe I should introduce you sometime. Oooh. The possibilities.” The leer was back.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“But you love me.” Jack said cheekily.
“Will you come back?” the Doctor looked worried.
Jack stepped closer, pressing against the Doctor’s wiry frame, wrapping his arms around him and looking straight into his eyes. “One day, sometime in the future, when the Welsh kick me out of their country for my inability to learn their language, I’ll call you, and you and me, we will be forever.”
“See you next week then,” the Doctor quipped.
Jack laughed. Then his laugh became a small smile, while he looked into the Doctor’s eyes, genuinely pleased. He kissed the Doctor, a deep, soul-searching kiss, his tongue slipping into the Doctor’s mouth while his fingers slipped into the Time Lord’s hair. When they broke apart, Jack stayed very close, his lips ghosting over the Doctor’s. “Until then Doctor,” he whispered, kissing the other man gently.
Then he was gone, walking back towards the control room. That had been the Doctor’s private farewell, now they had to get rid of their erections for the more public one. Well, the Doctor did. Jack seemed to have a permanent one, so his wouldn’t be too much of a deal. Should re-christen him Jack Hardness the Doctor mused, making him snigger. That should keep him going through the good-byes. He straightened his suit, re-ruffled his hair to get rid of the “just shagged” look that Jack must surely have created, and sauntered back into the control. Donna looked up from a monitor at him, giggling. There on the screen was a visual of the spot where he and Jack had just been standing. Only Donna had seen. He glowered at her. She pointed at the Tardis, still giggling. He felt another one of his ship’s mental sniggers and glowered at her instead.
Damned ship…
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Beta-d now that a kind reader, Tardis_gal, helped me out by doing it for me!!! much love to you!
Feel free to leave me a comment!!!
J