sorry
There’s a woman at work who uses the word ‘sorry’ a lot. And by a lot I mean A LOT. If she asks you a question, if she walks past you, essentially every interaction with her is cushioned in either a pre-emptive or reactive apology. At first I found it amusing, viewing it as a cute little linguistic tic of sorts. But the thing about becoming aware of something like this in someone else’s speech, is that it makes you more conscious of your own. I’m nowhere near in her class of apologist, but I realised that I too say the ‘s’ word a lot. Initially I found this worrying. What was I apologising so much for? Most of the situations weren’t even remotely apology-worthy.
I tried to curb it, but it was so ingrained that the word would just slip out sometimes before I could even stop myself (and when I did manage to stop myself, I was left feeling quite uneasy and uncomfortable). I also noticed that it wasn’t just me - women in general seem to say ‘sorry’ a lot. Why? I think it’s too easy to dismiss it as simply a lack of self-esteem or confidence. Social conditioning perhaps? Maybe, maybe not. Since becoming hyper-aware of my own use of the word, what I’ve noticed about myself is that often when I’m saying ‘sorry’ it’s more about acknowledging the other person, that they exist in front of me, that I see them in that moment. I go to walk on one side, the other person goes to walk on the same side - it’s no one’s fault, but if we’re both women there’s a fairly high chance we’ll apologise to each other. I’m not presumptive enough to try to speak for all womankind but I’ve come to the conclusion that, for me, saying sorry in situations like this is just a way of not being a douche nozzle. And I’m not sorry about that at all. Sorry.
I tried to curb it, but it was so ingrained that the word would just slip out sometimes before I could even stop myself (and when I did manage to stop myself, I was left feeling quite uneasy and uncomfortable). I also noticed that it wasn’t just me - women in general seem to say ‘sorry’ a lot. Why? I think it’s too easy to dismiss it as simply a lack of self-esteem or confidence. Social conditioning perhaps? Maybe, maybe not. Since becoming hyper-aware of my own use of the word, what I’ve noticed about myself is that often when I’m saying ‘sorry’ it’s more about acknowledging the other person, that they exist in front of me, that I see them in that moment. I go to walk on one side, the other person goes to walk on the same side - it’s no one’s fault, but if we’re both women there’s a fairly high chance we’ll apologise to each other. I’m not presumptive enough to try to speak for all womankind but I’ve come to the conclusion that, for me, saying sorry in situations like this is just a way of not being a douche nozzle. And I’m not sorry about that at all. Sorry.