"You want me to wear what?!"
"You want me to wear what?!"
Jimmy flashed the biometallically reinforced tights and skin-suit at me. We were on the roof of my new apartment and office building, and he had brought me a COSTUME. A costume. There was a cape draped over his arms. "Pretty cool, huh?" They were darkly colored, and seemed to be designed to define the male figure as closely as possible without being lewd. Or... too lewd, anyway. "S.T.A.R.R. Labs came up with them. The biometal warms in cool temperature and cools in warm weather, and you should see the way it catches the light! It's like... photogenic-ness in a bag!"
I just stared at him. "...No."
"But," He protested, holding out to me. The chest had a pair of white, wide Angel's wings spread out across a dark field. I cringed, inwardly. "It's tear proof! And bullet resistant - better than kevlar! Heck, it's even designed to absorb force so that you don't get hurt from falls and ... y'know, crack a rib."
I kept staring. "Jimmy, I'm immortal, regenerating, and nearly indestructable."
"It's flame retardant!"
That actually gave me pause. I started to think about it, then shook it off and glared at him. "No!"
"Why no?"
"Because... I ... with the..." I fumbled awkwardly. "--It looks stupid! Why would anyone go around in TIGHTS?"
"You could have a distinctive look, a signiature appearance, something people could think about in their darkest hours..."
I glanced down at myself. Black slacks, black sweater, black trenchcoat. I glanced back up at Jimmy.
"Okay, yeah, so you have that. But that's emo!"
"What?!"
"It's so ... goth and emo and 'Don't bug me, I'm brooding!'"
I gaped at him. "...It's ... cool! It makes me look... y'know... cool." My voice kind faded a little. "...a little bit, anyway. Right?"
Jimmy gave me a dramatic sigh and shook the costume at me. "...you'll be sexy."
"Get off my rooftop."
Jimmy didn't stop chuckling until he got into the car and drove away. I stared out over the rooftop after him and shook myself in revulsion. Me, In tights? No. Never. No way, no how...
...at least, probably not.
(sorry, I had to.)
Jimmy flashed the biometallically reinforced tights and skin-suit at me. We were on the roof of my new apartment and office building, and he had brought me a COSTUME. A costume. There was a cape draped over his arms. "Pretty cool, huh?" They were darkly colored, and seemed to be designed to define the male figure as closely as possible without being lewd. Or... too lewd, anyway. "S.T.A.R.R. Labs came up with them. The biometal warms in cool temperature and cools in warm weather, and you should see the way it catches the light! It's like... photogenic-ness in a bag!"
I just stared at him. "...No."
"But," He protested, holding out to me. The chest had a pair of white, wide Angel's wings spread out across a dark field. I cringed, inwardly. "It's tear proof! And bullet resistant - better than kevlar! Heck, it's even designed to absorb force so that you don't get hurt from falls and ... y'know, crack a rib."
I kept staring. "Jimmy, I'm immortal, regenerating, and nearly indestructable."
"It's flame retardant!"
That actually gave me pause. I started to think about it, then shook it off and glared at him. "No!"
"Why no?"
"Because... I ... with the..." I fumbled awkwardly. "--It looks stupid! Why would anyone go around in TIGHTS?"
"You could have a distinctive look, a signiature appearance, something people could think about in their darkest hours..."
I glanced down at myself. Black slacks, black sweater, black trenchcoat. I glanced back up at Jimmy.
"Okay, yeah, so you have that. But that's emo!"
"What?!"
"It's so ... goth and emo and 'Don't bug me, I'm brooding!'"
I gaped at him. "...It's ... cool! It makes me look... y'know... cool." My voice kind faded a little. "...a little bit, anyway. Right?"
Jimmy gave me a dramatic sigh and shook the costume at me. "...you'll be sexy."
"Get off my rooftop."
Jimmy didn't stop chuckling until he got into the car and drove away. I stared out over the rooftop after him and shook myself in revulsion. Me, In tights? No. Never. No way, no how...
...at least, probably not.
(sorry, I had to.)