Day One of...
Yesterday I had the Best Father's Day I've had in many years. Truth is, the best ones I've had are the ones I've arranged. No one's ever done it for me.
Discovery While Writing This: Zilla may have been the only person who's ever really, Really wanted to figure out What Makes Me Happy. Didn't always hit the bullseye, and in Large Part my sadness during our marriage had to do with me. I had--may still have--a measure of Unexplored Darkness and Pain to sort out. And she simply Wasn't The Right Person for the Partnership. I misinterpreted Who She Was. She was shallow where I'd Hoped for Depth, and merely her for the Rest of It. Which meant Life with Her was never going to be great. And that was even Before she got sick and the Pandemic after that, so
What I wouldn't give for my 56 year old clarity during my junior year of high school. Without the tightly packed onion layers of Dread. The fear of a next-month Armageddon or getting caught dating a 'worldly' girl or...simply telling anyone the Truth (that My Life Sucked). But come on. Wouldn't we ALL wanna go back. And would I have listened to Current Me, anyway? Probably not.
What I need to do is sleep some more, then enjoy another stupidly amazing day